A Mommy Story

Oh hey, look at that – it’s been a week since I posted. It wasn’t an intentional lapse in blogging, at least I don’t think it was. Leaving the blog for seven days on such a down note isn’t something I like to do, but it feels good to be back.

I’ve spent the last several days in a heavy state of busy. I worked two days, one of which included taking charge of my first labor patient. She delivered six minutes after my shift ended, but I stayed until the baby was born just so I could meet the stubborn little girl who refused to hold still all day. I’ve never had to adjust an electronic fetal monitoring belt so much in a single day. I guess she knew I needed the practice.

We also ran away for two days this weekend. We packed up the kids and went to a picnic with a large group of friends, followed by an overnight with friends in Oxford, OH. Cordy got to spend time with her best friend, Mira got filthy playing in the dirt, Aaron got to geek out with fellow geeks, and I got to lose myself shopping in Ikea on Sunday while chatting with one of my best friends. It was a good time.

Other days of the past week were spent in a deep purge within my house. You see, it’s been a busy few years, and during that time we’ve accumulated a lot of junk. A LOT of junk. Mira has yet to even have her own room – we simply carved out enough space in Aaron’s “den” to shove a crib and a dresser against the wall. She was a baby – what more did she need?

Being depressed has a few benefits. It makes you hate many things about your current life and can sometimes give you the motivation to change it. I realized much of the junk, knick-knacks, boxes of clothing and old baby toys were not only cluttering up the house, they were cluttering up my psyche, too. I want open spaces and if it means shrugging off some emotional connections to inanimate objects, I’m ready to shrug myself silly.

So we’ve been carving through the sea of junk, clearing off shelves, cleaning out boxes, trashing anything that can’t go to someone else or Goodwill, and rearranging our space. The bookcases have been moved from Mira’s room to our bedroom, Aaron’s computer no longer lurks in the corner, and all that is left in Mira’s room is her furniture and toys.

Cordy’s room is next, and we’ve decided it’s time for her to have a big girl room. She’ll be five years old in a week and she needs some new furniture. The toddler bed will go to Mira in favor of a twin bed for Cordy. Her dresser – with the changing table top – goes to the yard sale pile collecting in the garage, and she’ll have a proper set of drawers.

The guest room is after that. Eventually, I’d like to give a makeover to the living room and kitchen. And maybe someday we’ll paint or go crazy and hang something on the wall.

We filled our trash bin last week, and I hope to do the same this week. I like seeing the emptiness opening up from under the clutter. And the items I’m choosing to keep have so much more meaning to me now.

Thanks for the comments last week. I realize I am overwhelmed by so many changes over the past year. I’m working full time now, the girls are in school, Aaron is still looking for a job, the bills are being held at bay by the forces of good, but always threatening to scale the walls, and I’m adjusting to the realization that this is our life. Acceptance of this reality hasn’t fully come yet.

So for now I am trying to control what little I have control over. And at this moment, my focus is on my house. Maybe next I’ll tackle all 1,385 unanswered e-mails in my Inbox. Maybe.