I was hoping for a first day of summer camp that would end with reports of “she did great!” and in some ways it did. But that statement was also followed with “until…”
Cordy’s camp ends at 1:30pm each day, and we arranged it so she stays in after-camp until 3:30 three days a week. She’ll be in all-day Pre-K in the fall, and she needs to start getting used to a longer day. I figured this was a good place to start. This morning I met her after-camp teacher, and after warning her that Cordy would likely be having a rough day today, her response? “Oh, I’ve cared for lots of kids and I’ve seen everything! There’s no kid I can’t handle!”
Today, at 1:45pm, I got the call from Aaron’s aunt. (The preschool director.) At the end of camp, they took Cordy to the front along with the other kids who were leaving at 1:30. She got to watch them leave while she was told she had to remain behind. Today she was the only kid in after-care. Naturally, she had a big meltdown. They were calling to ask me for advice on getting her out of her meltdown. I gave a few tips and hung up, my stomach in knots as I wondered if I’d get another call soon.
Half an hour went by, and I called back to see if she had calmed down. Aaron’s aunt said Cordy and her teacher took a walk to calm her down. I decided at this point to get her early, since it was her first day. When I arrived, they sent someone to find Cordy and her teacher. As they came around the corner, Cordy had a big grin on her face and didn’t seem distressed at the moment.
I hugged Cordy and asked her how her day was. It was then her after-care teacher said, “She is very tired and worn out. Camp is hard on her.” Cordy seemed a little tired, but nothing out of the ordinary to me.
And then the gut punch: “I really think you should pick her up right after camp each day.”
*blink* *blink*
“Well, I can’t do that,” I stammered, “I’ve already paid for her after-care, and I need the time while she’s gone to get things done.”
The teacher was unimpressed. “The camp day is too hard on her. She can’t handle a full day. And she has no other kids to play with.”
I’d like to pause in this conversation to remind everyone: FIRST DAY, PEOPLE!!!
I explained to the teacher that Cordy doesn’t know the routine at the moment, and that once she gets the hang of it she’ll handle transitions better. I also told her Cordy will be in Pre-K in the fall and needs to start transitioning to a full-day program. And I had been told right before they came around the corner that another child would be in after-camp next week.
“Well, we’ll see what happens on Wednesday…” And with that ending, she left.
We’ll see? Or what, she’ll be kicked out of after-camp? Holy hell, it’s only been one day! ONE DAY. Un dia.
Surely other kids act up on the first day of a new program. A child need not be on the spectrum to have a bad day, right? You can’t judge kids by their first day in camp.
I’m completely floored by this teacher’s response to Cordy. Especially since she was the teacher who declared herself some kind of child whisperer that can handle anything. I can’t decide if my mistake was in not telling her enough about what to expect from Cordy, or telling her anything at all and somehow biasing her against Cordy. Was I wrong to mention autism? I feel like we’re being scolded for thinking we could mainstream her. She doesn’t act like a perfect robot child, and so clearly she doesn’t belong here. Send her back to the land of misfit children where she belongs.
And strangely enough, when I spoke with her camp teacher, the report was the complete opposite. Her camp teacher loved her, and said that Cordy had a really good day. She didn’t like circle time singing, preferring to stand away from the group, and she clung to her swim instructor like a barnacle in the pool, but otherwise she had a lot of fun and followed directions. Her teacher was impressed at how she coped with her new schedule.
And that whole talk about being too tired? Cordy did look a little worn out, but she wasn’t sleepy. She didn’t nap the entire day, and was a bundle of energy when we got home.
We’ll see what happens on Wednesday, but I’ll be pissed if I again hear that Cordy should not be in after-camp care. I know my daughter is pretty amazing, and I know she’ll go on to earn many honors, but having the title of “Fastest ejection from a daycare” is an honor I’d rather she not have. Because I then might have to earn the title of “Loudest mother” for shouting HAVE A LITTLE FREAKIN’ PATIENCE! at her teacher. Which is still better than “Mother drinking herself into oblivion” from the stress of it all.
My goodness. Sounds like serious broken promises. I hope it gets better – and by that, I hope the teachers buck up and do what they said they would do. Best of luck!
That does seem a little quick on the draw. My son cried every morning of pre-K camp, kindergarten and 1st grade for 1-2 weeks. I constantly worried that the teacher would finally tell me it was too much, but they handled it and it got better.
And just as a total side note, I was told the same thing about being able to handle all sorts of issues when i signed him up for swim class a few years ago. Nope, he got demoted back to mommy and me swim class 🙂
Good luck and hang in there.
first of all, congrats to Cordy for doing so well during the camp program! secondly, I really think that they just don’t want to have to entertain her after camp is over, especially if she is the only child. So by telling you it didn’t work out after one day, they can free up their time and energy and not have to care for her as you had agreed they would and you had paid for. If she is not hurting anyone, there is no reason for them not to give her a couple of weeks to adjust. I don’t know a lot about mainstreaming, but I imagine this is a pretty common issue, teachers/workers that just don’t want to deal with it and would rather the child go to a SPED teacher/classroom.
and ANY child, spectrum or not, can have a rough first day. I doubt they’d be saying the same things to a parent of a child not on the spectrum if the first day was rough.
if they insist, they must give you the money back.
Of course you have more insight into the situation than any reader– but based on this post it doesn’t sound like the issue was with Cordy at all. Instead it sounds like a teacher who is reluctant to work the additional hours for after-camp if it is only for one child. It seems to me that you will know for sure if this is the case if the tune changes when the second child appears– but perhaps not if they really don’t support the after-camp program.
It sounds to me like this “teacher” doesn’t want to take care of any children in the after camp, so she’s discouraging parents from leaving them.
No, Cordy might not be a robot perfect child, but NO child is. They all have meltdowns, they all have adjustment problems of some sort, and they don’t have to be on the spectrum for it to happen. My own daughter is painfully shy and it takes her a few days to find her groove in a new place. No judgment like that should be passed on Day One.
Hold your head high, drop her off Wednesday, and hope for the best. I’ve never met Cordy in person, but I can’t imagine that she can’t win anyone over…she’s that adorable.
Sounds like Cordy had a pretty good day to me. Especially if it was the first one and the first time meeting these people!
Hang in there. I’m with the others in saying stick it out. This is their issue, not Cordy’s. Lets just hope they don’t make it Cordy’s.
I agree, I think that it was more the teacher, less Cordy. The teacher was probably wiped out after a day with the kids, maybe she didn’t realize it would be as much work. I would def. talk to the camp director to see what she has to say about all of this. And since she is Aaron’s aunt it may be easier. I also might mention to her after camp teacher that the director is Cordy’s great aunt. It may just be the thing that makes her change her tune.
sounds like she dosen’t want to work the extra hours. Don’t let her give up on Cordy so easily.
She may need a fuill week to find her place in this new routine.
I would LOVE to have one child to care for instead of many in an after care! You could have some fun and do more detailed projects, instead of having to move from child to child. THat teacher has a strange attitude!
Sounds like a teacher that isn’t looking to work very hard or do her job. As a teacher myself, I would LOVE to only have one student to teach/play with, etc. “unusual” behaviors are generally only a big problem if there a lot of other students & you are having to ignore them to constantly deal with one or two children. Even if Cordy didn’t have the best day, it shouldn’t have been THAT big of a deal. I’m normally the first one to defend a teacher, but that sounds like a lazy teacher to me!
I say Great Job Cordy!
It was her first day, she was out of her element, etc…
I’d venture the issue lies with the teacher and not Cordy.
I agree with the other commenters that said it doesn’t sound like she wants to stay after hours for only one child, which doesn’t say great things about her teaching style.
As someone who likes kids, I love to spend one on one time with them. And for someone that has differences like Cordy does, that’s the best time to figure them out.
Hopefully, she was just stressed or in a mood on the first day and things will do better. I’m sure Cordy will be camp champ soon. How can you not love her?
It sounds like she hasn’t had a fair shake, that’s for sure. Transitions are hard on lots of kids.
Though, to be fair, those kids that take to a new routine quicker are not necessarily ‘perfect robot children.’
Jeez. As a teacher in training, I would LOVE to just have one on one time with a child.
And honestly? I can’t blame Cordy. She watched everyone else leave and then she was by herself? I’d be mad too, and I’m 21.
I hope it gets better for her.
Sounds to me like the “after-camp” teacher doesn’t want to stay later for only 1 child. JMHO. I don’t think anything you said, or Cordy did was the problem.
Oh hon – I’m sorry the first day went like that. I have to agree with those who said that the issue seems to lie with the after camp teacher. She reminds me a bit of Little J’s teacher last year who insisted he was at fault for being bullied. I know how tough that year was on him…if the teacher doesn’t have an attitude adjustment tomorrow, maybe you could find an alternative care situation?
Don’t sweat it, the teacher is obviously a huge douche bag! I love kids that pose a challenge because when they come around and make progress it feels that much more awesome. She is going to be great. 🙂 Keep your head up and ignore Madame Douchebag!
Oh man. I’m sorry. I have been there with teachers who just don’t “get” my kid…even though he’s not that hard to “get”. I hope today is better!
That’s total bullshit. Every kid is entitled to adjust and ONE DAY is not the length of the adjustment period. You are rockin’ as her mommy and advocate. Stay strong!
Oh my gosh…good luck. My son has gotten the boot from daycare…twice. I love how these teachers somehow find just the right way to make you feel like a failure as a parent and add way more stress to your life than anyone should ever have. So, Aaron’s aunt is the director? Is she involved, yet? Hopefully that will give Cordy an advocate within the school? Thinking of you…
Seriously, has that teacher never seen a child freak out and cry on the first day of camp before? Seriously?
Ridiculous reaction on her part.
Ugh. I hope the rest of the week went better. It seems completely unprofessional for any teacher or director to make a judgment based on one day of attendance. I have a lot to say about this, but I’ll leave it at this: I’m mad for you. Grrr.
sorry to say, but this is not limited to your area. My kid with autism pddnos got kicked out of a local ymca after school program a few years ago. I should’ve filed suit. But if they don’t want to care for my kid, then I don’t want him there either.
know that you’re not alone in this battle.
Our son has been booted from several preschools after 1/2 a day too. They swear up and down that they can handle anything, but when the child does not conform to the group, they cannot handle it. It makes me so mad that they don’t give them a chance. A week at least. Frustrating. We drive to a daycare 1/2 an hour from our house because that was the only place we could find that would give him the chance to adjust. And he did adjust and he’s really happy there. I hope they give your daughter the same chance!