No Surprises

Early on Saturday morning, two women showed up at our door with folders of papers and a little tackle box full of toys. They were here to do the full evaluation on Mira’s developmental progress. As they walked in, Cordy gave a loud “happy Halloween!” greeting to them (she still hasn’t figured out that Halloween is over), and Mira peered at them from behind my legs.

Aaron took Cordy upstairs for a bath so she wouldn’t disturb the evaluation, and I sat down on the floor with them as they began with a basic puzzle of two shapes and the holes to put them in. Mira quickly figured it out, but refused to take them back out of the puzzle and give them to the occupational therapist (OT).

When she put a Cheerio in a little bottle and handed it to Mira, she quickly turned it upside down to get the Cheerio out. But before the OT could say, “Now put it back in the bottle” Mira had already shoved it in her mouth. She took out another Cheerio and gave it to Mira, this time getting as far as “Can you put it in-” before Mira again popped it into her mouth. The third Cheerio was eaten as well. That’s my girl – she likes to eat.

She did pretty well on gross motor skills and fine motor skills, so the primary focus became communication. The speech therapist asked me several questions about how I interacted with her – do I repeat words, do I correct her if she mispronounces something, do I ask her to say what she wants when she points to it? In short, do I actually bother to talk to my child? Well, of course I do. I’m a blogger – I’m full of words.

None of the questions bothered me, until I was asked, “Has she said the typical first words? Mama, dada?” I looked down at Mira with a touch of sadness. “No, she has yet to say those.”

They both tried to persuade her to talk, but other than a few “nooo”s and some squeals and shrieks when they tried to make her do something she didn’t want to do, she remained mute. She also refused to play along with many of their games – a trait that seems to run in our family. After 45 minutes, they packed everything up, said they would need to score her evaluation at the office, and unceremoniously left. My only regret is that she didn’t smile or laugh for them even once, just gave them her icy stare. She’s really a goofy kid, but it’s a side of her that she refuses to show to strangers.

The call came this evening. Based on their evaluation, they’ve determined that Mira has a speech delay and will begin receiving therapy for it. They were especially concerned with her expressive language, but also a little concerned with her receptive language. I’m sure the receptive language perception was due to her disinterest in their games, because she responds to many things I tell her to do. OK, not that many – she does choose to ignore me when she doesn’t want to hear what I’m saying.

After we got the news, Aaron and I looked at each other and shrugged. There were no surprises here. We know she doesn’t talk, and that otherwise she’s a fairly typical 18 month old. As I’ve said before, compared to what we’ve already gone through with Cordy, this doesn’t seem all that bad. Even if Mira never speaks (practically impossible, I know), she’s a bright girl who knows how to get her message across. She has the will and temperment to demand anything she wants in life, even without saying a word. This is nothing more than a bump in the road.

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Comments

  1. I think you and Aaron have more courage than anyone I know. I’m sure it was difficult to hear what they had to say, but it’s wonderful that you were proactive and had the tests done now.

    I know that Mira will do well with the therapy. My niece had speech therapy, too, and now she talks all the time. We call her our little news anchor.

    Hang in there, it sounds like it’s going to work out okay.

  2. You are so wise.

    Let me know if Cordy or Mira are into lightsabers – I can send a few plush ones your way. It ends up being like a pillowfight, but more fun.

  3. You guys are such great parents… I couldn’t even describe how much I admire you.

    On another note, I’m sure that Mira will do well. A co-worker of mine had his now three year old son in early intervention because of speech delay – he wasn’t talking at all (no words, just googles) and now, he talks non-stop and has a ton of words.

    Keep your heads up – you ROCK!!!!!

  4. I totally understand why you want and need to get on top of any issues early, but I hope that this turns out to be just a formality; one that won’t cause too much stress and will see Mira coming into her own in no time.
    At any rate, it sounds as if she’ll be able to hold her own just fine.

  5. She will talk in due time – good luck with the therapy to come. This is just a bump in your road and you will get through it with flying colors!

  6. ahhhh…the second child, not so scary! kids are who they are and they will all learn in their own way, on their own time table!

    the things that freaked me out with Will that i just shrug at with Ben!

    Mira will do fine, maybe some speech therapy will help, but she’ll do fine!

  7. You’ve got such a good attitude about it. That can only help.

  8. Well, you have a great attitude about the whole thing. Your old pros at this parenting thing!

    And she will talk. When she’s ready. Then you’ll wonder if she will ever stop talking!

  9. Wow–I hear you. My oldest has high-functioning autism, and I remember going through all those visits and tests. Then we had our second evaluated–he didn’t have a speech delay, but horrible tantrums. He isn’t on the spectrum, but we went through 8 months wondering if he had Asperger’s. The wondering and worrying are the worst part.

  10. Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children says

    It’s so hard during an evaluation to truly get a solid picture of a child. So many times, it really is the newness of the situation or shyness that slightly skew results. I bet she’ll knock their socks off once she’s a pro at speech therapy!

  11. I have two children out of my six who had delays – I am dealing with one right now, but you know is not that bad and your attitude is half the battle, I think.
    Cheers,
    Anita

  12. You have an amazing attitude about the whole thing. Mira will do great with you as a Mom.

  13. First I have to agree with other commenters, you have a great attitude and she’s going to do great.

    But don’t you hate it when your child shows a different type of personality to the professional?? My son’s absolute worst behavior has come in the office of his developmental pediatrician.

    At first it was fine, since we needed a diagnosis for the program we wanted him in, but then her observations were taking a direction that no one else saw — and believe me, after that appointment, I asked everyone at his school if they saw anything of the sort, and got a resounding “no.”

    Long story short, we don’t go to her anymore.

    (It doesn’t sound like that happened with Mira’s eval, just sharing the story to let you know how much I sympathize.)

  14. I don’t know, Christina. My sister (a teacher) has twin daughters. One is a talker and the other isn’t. The other didn’t talk much until she was nearly 2.5 and then full sentences started to come out of her.

    Same with my children. The girl always talked for the boy, so he didn’t start talking until he was almost two. Then, you couldn’t get the kid to shut up.

    I am sure all will be well. It sounds to me like you’ve got a cool customer in Mira and perhaps she just doesn’t have anything she feels ya’ll need to know just yet. 🙂

  15. gwendomama says

    I want to commend you for pursuing help for your daughter when you knew she needed it. NOTHING can replace the early in Early Intervention.

    YOU are such a great advocate for Mira; she needs only that.