Several days ago, I was speaking with a friend who has recently started blogging. (I won’t get into the weirdness of having my internet life and local life crashing together yet again. Very odd.) Anyway, we were chatting about writing styles and such, and she said something that really took me by surprise:
“You’re different in person than you are on your blog.”
Hmmm…
So naturally, I’ve been dwelling on this for days. It’s not her fault – being giving feedback on myself tends to make me look inwards and evaluate the criticism. (Criticism here meaning an analysis, not necessarily something negative.) In other words, lots of navel gazing and living inside my head.
I know that neither the internet me or the everyday me provides the full picture of who I am. After all, in everyday life there are details of our personalities we hide from the public and other aspects we try to play up. But on the internet, parts of my inner self are kept private that might otherwise be common knowledge among friends I see in Columbus. For example, I feel comfortable sharing my depression with all of you, but it’s something I try to hide with people I talk with in everyday life. My relationship with Aaron is something I’d talk about casually with friends in-person – on this blog, however, many details are censored.
Do any of us ever show our true selves to anyone? I wonder if my online voice is closer to the real me than the person I am while walking through the grocery or chatting with friends at a party? Online I don’t have to feel self-conscious about my appearance. I have the luxury of taking time with my words, re-writing them if needed instead of dealing with a mouth that moves faster than the brain can put together complete thoughts. I have more control over what I will share and what I won’t share.
And now we come to the group participation part of this narcissism. I want your opinions: do you think your online persona is different from your “real-life” personality? If so, which do you think is closer to the person you consider the true you?
(Also, am I the only one who thinks crazy things like this?)
Actually, I kinda wish I didn’t wear my heart on my blog. Not that I don’t want my virtual friends to know who I really am, but I tend to feel like I have a serious problem with oversharing….
You’re not the only one. And I hope this isn’t affecting you in a negative way. 🙂
Oh I’m totally different. The very first thing is that you can’t hear my laughing. I love to laugh and when I am in real life with people I smile and laugh a lot.
My blog is just a chat forum for me. I get to talk uninterrupted and if you don’t want to listen, you can just close the window.
I have invited my entire extended family to read my blog, so I really take care to say only those things that I want my family to read and know. It is my own personal censorship, but I planned it that way.
I am much more outgoing online. I’m so shy in person.
I laugh a lot, too. That’s why I have such an obnoxious template, it’s actually laughter! 🙂
But I think all of us are this way to one extent or another. You almost have to be.
I am different online than real life. My online persona is more outgoing. When I talk to people in the real world I rethink conversation. I wonder why I said that. Or should I have made myself clearer. More affirmative. And so on.
Obviously you aren’t the only one thinking this way 🙂
hmmmmmm. good question. I feel like the blog me is more me than what most people see in real life….
huh.
(Also, am I the only one who thinks crazy things like this?)
Definitely not. I have been web-journaling since 2001, and I went through several periods of considering that (and also the question “Why am I doing this?”) and I watched many, many friends go through the same.
Of course your online persona is not completely you, nor can it ever be, and anyone who thinks they know you fully because of what you choose to present online is wrong. Moreover, you are under no obligation to try to present yourself exactly as you are. When all is said and done, what you are doing here is writing—writing on real-life based things, true, which gives you the opportunity to let more of your personality to come through than, say, someone who is writing a science-themed weblog. But your writing is not completely you.
Which, in my opinion, is good. There is a lot of greatness there that you let your readers get a glimpse of, for which we are lucky. But your family should have more of it :-).
You are SO not crazy! I’ve posted about this before too. I think that my blog is closer to me, but then I stop and think “well then what gives with the person I am IRL? Who is she and WHY is she?”
I thought I was blogging because it was therapedic, but sometimes I think I need my shrink back.
You are totally not the only one. I surprise myself regularly by the things I blog. Partly I am more anxious than I ever thought, haha, and partly I have much more to say, and more opinions, than I thought.
For me, who I am online has changed who I am off-line. I’ve actually become more comfortable expressing my thoughts and opinions in person since I’ve been getting positive feedback on my blog posts.
I think I’m pretty much like my blog, then again, you tell me. You roomed with me after all. Only thing? I’m way more sappy on the blog than in real life. I have an easier time admitting to lifes little awww moments on the blog than I do in person.
My blog is a part of my personality and it comes out in real life as well. It’s not all of my personality, but just the part I choose to share online.
I honestly feel like my blog self and my family/close-friends self are very similar. Same sense of humor, same quippiness, same introspectiveness… My acquaintance self is probably different because I haven’t yet warmed up to whomever it is.
I put it all out there … I may not use the “words” I would in my real life, but most times they are inappropriate for writting down … haha
If anyone asked me I would give it to them the REAL way it is … I am me, take me or leave me …
ps you are not crazy for thinking it … I often think I tell way too much so I too think about it, just in a different light
Hi, I am new here! 🙂
I recently shared my blog with a boy I’m dating and I’ve been asking myself the same thing.
Because I can think about what i write for longer periods of time I’m able to put a more humorous spin on trials and tribulations that I would never even talk about in real life.
I think that the “real” me and the “internet” me are just aspects of the “full” me.
It takes a life time to discover who and what we are; likewise i’d think it takes several mediums for others to figure us out.
Or something?
I curse more in real life than I do on my blog and I actually think I am a bit more pessimistic in real life than I am on my blog. So, for those of you who read my blog and have happened to come across the posts where I talk in depth about depression, don’t let that lead you to think that I am really bad in real life if I am that bad online. That’s just a little piece of the puzzle.
I am definitely myself on my blog. And definitely censored. Which is a bit of a contradiction when I say I’m myself, isn’t it? But I try to think before I speak, anyway. It just doesn’t always work out well. When I think before I post, I am able to edit with a kinder hand.
Great post. I think my online/blogging self is very close to who I am. I think I am a very down-to-earth person who likes to talk, share and be around my friends. I guess I really believe this because most people who know me IRL tell me that when they read my writing it sounds like me talking. However, there are problem some things I reveal on my blog that I don’t INL and vice versa.
Very, very interesting. Do you mind if I borrow this for my own site – I’m afraid that I’ll overwhelm your comment section.
Yeah, I’m not totally me on the blog. Mostly, but not totally. I censor a bit. In case my mom finds out about it. Then I’m in a world of shit (err, sorry… poo!)
I’m all me, censored so my poor grandfather’s ears don’t fall off from my foul mouth, but I think if you were talking to me IRL, you’d see the same person that’s on my blog.
I think there’s a difference between creating an entirely distinct online persona and choosing what parts of your self you share online. I do the second. IMO my online personality is pretty similar to my real life one but I only share certain parts of my life, certain opinions online. Politics yes. Religion no. Stories about family trips and amusing anecdotes about my son, yes. Details about my marriage and personal life, generally no.
I think I am more upbeat on my blog because I don’t want people to find me a downer. Peer pressure, even in an anonymous world! (:
I’m different on my blog. My real life persona is a toned down version of my blog me. My blog me is sort of like my inner monologue. But since blogging, probably more of that inner monologue gets let out in my real life because I’m getting used to externalizing it.
You’re definitely not the only one who thinks about this kind of thing.
I’m a nag in real life. I try to be nicer on my blog. (crap, I’m in trouble.)
No you aren’t the only one who thinks about things like this.
I have to honestly say that my real life persona is probably most like me. I don’t like laying myself open in real life and for awhile on my blog I did just that. To an extent I am still pretty open on my blog about the trials and tribulations in my life but I also find now that my blog is invitation only I am censoring myself a bit. I think it is because I’ve shared some rough times in the last few months and gotten almost no feedback…made me feel like I had passed gas in a small room. Didn’t like that at all. So I find that I am holding back. I’ve actually considered closing the blog to all and keeping it just for me. I never began my blog hoping to become popular ala Dooce or entertaining ala Pioneer Woman…so maybe shutting down to all but myself is the way for me to go so I can be the real me at all times. Lots to think about and consider.
I wrote on a similar topic some time ago, here: http://mcmamasmusings.blogspot.com/2008/06/running-numbers.html
Short story, you’re not alone in that feeling of separate personas.