A Mommy Story

Back in April, I wrote an open letter to the presidential candidates, laying out the issues that were important to me and why. I reminded them of how the middle class seems to be slipping away, and how I worried that my family could face ever harder times if things continued as they were. I wrote:

Despite all of that, I have it pretty good compared to many in this country. We still have food, we still have some luxuries, and we still have our house. As long as my husband isn’t laid off – a real risk we’ve faced three times in the past year – our bills are still paid each month and the needs of our family are met. But there are so many who can’t even provide the most basic needs for their families. Food banks are running out of food because of the growing number of people – even middle-class – who must now turn to them for help. Should my husband be laid off, I could be one of those people, too, depending on charity and the kindness of others to feed our family.

Oh, hi – look at us now. I should go into business as a psychic.

It’s been three months now since Aaron lost his job. In that time, unemployment rates have continued to climb, as have consumer prices on nearly everything. Things in Ohio aren’t so hot, either. The governor just announced another 4.5% must be slashed from the state budget in all departments by the end of this month. You can bet many departments will take care of that with more layoffs, further increasing the competition for jobs.

We never expected to still be without full time employment in September, but here we are. We still have our house, we still have food, and we still have one or two luxuries (like internet, which we actually need for freelance work), but not much else. It feels like we’re stuck in some twisted nightmare. We’re college educated, and we have a lot of work experience – why can’t we find a job?

More resumes have been sent out than we can count, and his suit has been cleaned and pressed for a handful of interviews. The job market is so tight at the moment that employers can be very picky. Often he isn’t considered because even though he has years of experience in his field, his degree in Theatre doesn’t match up with layout and graphic design. Or they question why he’s applying for a job that makes less than he did previously. He’s even tried for a job that only requires lifting things (UPS), but in that case he’s dismissed as overqualified. After all, why would someone who was making so much before this want a dull job making just over minimum wage?

I don’t want this to sound all “poor us”. We will eventually find something. I’m sure of it. In the meantime, resumes keep flying out the door and we’re both working hard on our freelance jobs. But this lack of a full-time job has put us in a rough spot at the moment, and forced us to look at options we would have never considered before.

After three months, our savings are nearly gone, despite being conservative in our spending. The mortgage is due in October, and I’m still not entirely sure how we’re going to cover it. I think we’ll be able to scrape it together, but November will be coming all too quickly. We’ve already had to weigh the costs of taking our child to the doctor versus waiting it out – we did go and it cleared up, but it’s possible we waited too long and Cordy may have a scar on her face from it.

So last month we swallowed our pride and applied for assistance. Cordy and Mira now have health insurance, thanks to SCHIP. (You know, that children’s health insurance program that Congress tried to expand and Bush vetoed.) And after having battle after battle with myself, we now are on food assistance as well.

How do I feel about it? I hate depending on assistance, mostly because I feel there are others who need it more. We’re doing it to buy us more time and protect our daughters’ health. I’ll admit that the food assistance saves us a lot of money, even if I am angry that it had to come to this. And considering that we’re currently making about $1200 a month from our freelance income and unemployment combined, and our mortgage alone is $1100, saving some money on food helps.

I’m reminded by family and friends that it’s OK to ask for help now and then. After all, three generations of my family have paid into the government’s assistance programs without ever needing it, so using a little of that help now shouldn’t bring on waves of guilt. But I still feel so…judged…when I’m buying groceries and the cashier looks at me when I swipe my card and says loudly, “Oh, you’re using food stamps.” It’s an uncomfortable feeling to look at government assistance from the inside, knowing the prejudices you may have held when you were on the outside.

There was a time when I might have judged someone if I saw them buying groceries with food stamps, but now I know that nearly anyone could find themselves in those circumstances if the planets aligned the wrong way. And I’ve heard healthcare workers speaking poorly of a patient at the hospital because they’re on Medicaid, something I could never do. Yes, there are people who abuse the system, but who are we to determine if someone really needs the help or not just by looking at them?

It’s hard to admit, but we are now a statistic. A middle class family now with no full-time employment, on assistance, with the risk that we could lose our house if something doesn’t change in the next few months. Our story is one which so many others in this country could tell – we’re not unique in any way. It’s why this election has become so important to me, why I’m nearly ready to go door to door to campaign for people to vote, and why I feel we all need to look beyond the hype and the superfical issues of this year’s campaign and investigate the issues fully.

Because you never know when you could be the next statistic.