I had the fortune to get an evening away with my husband – sans children – last night. We went to the Dublin Irish Festival because Gaelic Storm was playing. The concert venue seating was already full when we got to it an hour and a half early, so we found the best standing room area behind a row of seats and waited, unwilling to give up the best chance at seeing the stage.
As expected, other people believed if they just pushed in further, they could find better spots, even though we could see there was nothing left inside. So we had to deal with a steady stream of people squeezing and pushing past us. Some were rude about it (and drunk), others were trying to be polite. My feet endured the crushing weight of a few big drunk guys on them as they shoved their way into the crowd.
Early on, one lady squirmed her way around Aaron, looked at me said, “Excuse me, mama, comin’ through!” Her eyes had drifted to my belly when she said “mama” and as soon as she passed by I turned to Aaron.
“Did you hear that? She thinks I’m pregnant!”
“No, I didn’t hear her. I’m sure it was just a mistake, since the girl next to us is pregnant.”
And I tried to think of any reason to dismiss her comment. Maybe she calls everyone mama? Maybe she saw the kid next to us, belonging to the group with the actually pregnant woman, and thought he was with us? Maybe I was standing at an awkward angle?
But then just before the concert started, people began to switch direction and come out from the center, realizing there was no where to sit or stand comfortably in there. As one group tried to get past us, a woman pointed right at me and yelled back to her friend behind her, “Be careful, let’s not squish the pregnant lady!”
Somehow, Aaron completely missed that comment, too. But I was mortified. Everyone thought I was pregnant, and pregnant enough to confirm it out loud. But I know that no amount of sucking in my stomach can help me look better because it isn’t just the muscles or fat. It’s loose skin, left over from two pregnancies.
I’m working on tightening those muscles, and I’m still working out to get rid of any excess fat, but I don’t think the skin will ever bounce back. My only solution for now is to wear Spanx whenever I don’t want to look pregnant, because they do a great job at compressing all of that loose skin and flattening my stomach again. Maybe someday I’ll save up for a tummy tuck to remove that loose skin so I don’t look like I’m 4 month away from diapers, burp cloths, and every two hour feedings.
Although if it’s true that everyone at the concert thought I was pregnant, they were all being assholes by not offering me a seat. After standing in one spot for two and a half hours, I think I might have considered sticking out my stomach a little more if it would get me a seat.
Oh that is so harsh! I had a stomach that looked like an old man’s butt. It was sick to look at. I worked out incessantly and lost weight and felt better, but the more weight I lost the worse my stomach actually looked. I underwent the knife 3 years ago, never regretted it!
That is so not fair. I had a similar moment recently in a bathing suit when I realized the only thing keeping me from looking about to pop was a good bra. When I lose the nursing boobs I am so screwed. I just need to figure out how to write posts while exercising.
Oh that horrible! You’ve been working hard to eat better and lose weight, but like others have said, it usually looks worse once you lose the weight. Hang in there (no pun intended).
I totally don’t think you look pregnant. Seriously.
Something similar happened to me after I had my son. We went to an amusement park and bought tickets at the gate. I looked at the ticket and it was for the disability rate. Huh? i asked the girl about it and she said because pregnant women couldn’t ride nearly all of the rides, they were required to consider them disabled and sell them disabled tickets…
Oh well, At least I got in at $15 off. I didn’t even bother correcting her.
I have the same problem. No matter how much weight I lose, I cannot get rid of that extra skin. I’d love to go under the knife, but I seriously cannot afford it. Maybe one day. I just have to keep thinking that my body has produced two of the greatest living beings ever to inhabit the earth, so every stretchmark and extra fold of skin is totally worth it.
just a nod to say – big sigh & yes, am having the same thing, after 3 babies, the more weight I lose, the more extra skin is there. Is there a non tummy tuck solution to this problem?
ugh dude. that just sucks. no other way about it.
that sucks. i call everybody “mama.” well not everybody, but women in general. and mostly people i know, or in writing.
<-----this is me not helping. someday i’d like a tummy tuck too. and something to get my boobs up off the floor would be nice too.
Your final thought about if they thought you were pregnant and didn’t offer you a seat? Priceless.
And I don’t think you look pregnant either.
I just had an Oh crap moment.
I’m one of those people that call other women Mama.. not in a rude or demeaning way, only to close friends, or if I step on someones foot or otherwise invade their space I do it then to. Never thought about it before but I suppose it’s a northern ghetto version of Ma’am as it’s said as a manner of respect where I’m from. I now wonder how many women I’ve offended unwittingly. Crap.
On the other hand, I’m working on number 6… I soooo understand. If I want to not look preggo it takes me not eating before we go and a corset (thank heavens those things came back in style for a second!) to tuck the skin in.
That and the boob job helped. Now they stick out farther then my belly when not pregnant. Everyone thinks I got em simply to make them bigger, I got em to even out to hip, waist, chest ratio.
And no crap about if they really thought you were pregnant! What assnines!
I think it’s less about you looking pregnant (because you do not look preggers) and more about how rude drunks can be at the Irish Festival. They let nothing come between them and getting a seat instead of standing when seeing their favorite bands play maybe they were being rude on purpose so you’d get mad and leave and they could take your prime spot? I wouldn’t doubt. Remember the year I went to the Irish Festival on crutches – no one offered me a seat either.
I only had something of this sort happen to me a few times and one woman went so far as to touch my belly while squeeing about how cute I was. Then she said, oh…but your tummy isn’t hard like the pregnant ladies I know. And I said, “That’s because I’m not pregnant!” She was mortified. I didn’t care. Serves her right.
There’s something wrong that even the plus-size products on their website are modeled by anorexics.