It’s obvious to anyone who sees me that I burn easily in the sun. Being fair-skinned, I’ve never been able to achieve those deep tans that others sport.
I’ve always known about sunscreen. As a kid, my mom would put a bottle of it in my backpack every time she dropped me off at the community pool, nagging me to use it. I, being the cocky, indestructible eight year old that I was, would tell her OK as she drove away, then ditch my backpack with my towel under a picnic table as I ran to join up with friends in the deep end of the pool. The sunscreen remained in my bag the entire day.
As you can imagine, I’d come home bright red nearly every day. Sometimes with blisters. As soon as the burn healed and the dead skin peeled away, I was right back out in the sun to burn anew. Burns hurt, yeah, but I was a kid and didn’t want anything to get in the way of play, and that included the time it took to put on sunscreen. Besides, I didn’t like how greasy it felt.
When I was a teenager, I didn’t want to burn but I sure wanted that tan. Tanned bodies filled the high school, and being ghost white made me stand out. (Well, stand out more than I already did.) I always had bad luck with tanning, though, resulting in either a burn or a pathetic light tan. When I had a part-time job at 16, I used some of the money to tan in a tanning booth. I still burned though. Let me put it this way: I burned so much as a kid that my nose is permanently red.
I look back on all of this skin damage, and wish I could go back to my old self and do some kind of scared straight intervention. It would probably involve vivid descriptions of what it’s like to have spots and moles removed (I was terrified of needles as a kid) and the phone conversation I had with my dermatologist’s office yesterday:
“Hi, I’m calling with the results on the skin biopsies we did. OK, the one on the right middle back was benign.”
In the one and a half seconds between that sentence and the next, I pondered her words. Why did she start individually? Is she required to go through each one, instead of telling me they’re all OK? Or maybe one of them came back with something wrong. OK, I guess I should be prepared for one to come back abnormal.
And then she continued, “The other five all came back abnormal. We call it neoplastic…” At this point my focus drifted off of her actual words as I remained on the words abnormal and neoplastic. We studied this in nursing school. It means pre-cancer cells. Five of six removed were abnormal. Five out of six. I wasn’t prepared to hear that. Sure, pre-cancer cells aren’t cancer, but they could be if I’m not cautious.
She continued on, unable to hear my chaotic inner monologue, “They’re pre-cancer cells, which means if they had been left alone they were more likely to turn into skin cancer. There are three levels of abnormal cells: mild, moderate, severe. So far, all of those came back mild, but the doctor now wants to see you every four months for rechecks and to remove any more that show any signs of change.”
I finally stumbled out, “Should I do anything?”
“Well, you’re at a much higher risk for skin cancer now, so if you’re not already doing it, protect your skin. Preventing further skin damage will help, although the past damage still keeps you at risk.”
At least those five abnormal spots were removed. But at the same time, I remember at my appointment that the doctor had mapped out several more to keep an eye on. He probably could have removed another six, but I’m guessing he didn’t feel like making me look like swiss cheese or want me to care for that many wounds at once. Now I look at all of these moles on my arms, legs, back, chest, and face, wondering when one of them might turn against me. Which one is harboring pre-cancer cells, just waiting for their chance to attack me?
I’ve embraced pale white as a lifestyle and fashion choice since my college years, and this recent news is reinforcing my resolve. I will wear protective clothing or sunscreen when out in the sun. I often forget to apply sunscreen when I’m out for short periods, which is something I need to be more consistent with, since that can cause damage, too.
And I’m going to make sure both girls put on sunscreen when they’re outdoors, especially Cordy, who inherited my pale skin. Mira has her dad’s olive-tan skin tone, but that doesn’t fully protect her, either. If they won’t wear it, maybe when they’re older I’ll take them with me for a mole removal, or just show them all of my small scars. They already complain like I did as a kid, but someday I hope they’ll understand that I’m only trying to keep them from going through the fear and worries I’ve gone through, and will likely go through again.
So if you ever need sunscreen, let me know. I’ll always have some with me!
Oh man – I’m glad you’re having them watched and checked. I should probably do that with mine, too. My grandma always used to harp on us about sunscreen and her warnings really stuck after she had to have part of her nose removed due to skin cancer! Now my mom and oldest sister are having parts of their skin removed for the same reasons – Mom’s is near her eye and my sister’s on the back of her hand. Irish skin here too.
Oh, gosh! My heart stopped when I read the words. I’m glad they removed those cells/moles. But still! How scary! I have several moles on my back and I, too, burn like you do. I’m starting to think maybe I should have mine looked at.
Please keep me posted after your next check-up. I suppose I should start being more proactive myself. I never forget to put sunscreen on Dawson, but sometimes I forget myself!
How scary! Thank goodness you had them check out. Good thoughts and well wishes to you for healthy skin forever.
I think you’re actually lucky nowadays to have fair skin that burns, for you will have a tendency to try and protect it more.
I’m sorry you have to go through the constant worrying… My mother in law was a sun worshipper in her youth and is paying the unfortunate price of having moles removed every few months.
Be firm with your girls! NOBODY leaves my house without sunscreen. Too bad if you don’t like it. You don’t get to go, then. However, when Justin was at a friend’s house recently? He got burned to a crisp because they didn’t have ANY SUNSCREEN in their house!!! Why? Because their kids tan and never burn… hence, their kids are exposed to damaging rays EVERY. Single. Day.
Hooray for skin that burns easily!
Thanks goodness you went in for a check up – living here at the beach I go every year … but this year and the only reason … last time I went preggers he ate me up about my face and the acne – I told him it was preggers hormones wanted to me to take something for it … I fought him and said I would be back after baby days were over … haha
They make some really good inexpensive lotion with sunscreen in it … I use it everyday … maybe you can find some you like at wallyworld!
Aww, crap. You’ve met me, you know I’m fair too, and I’m already keeping M out of the sun as much as I can (enough we haven’t actually needed sunscreen, just to show how paranoid I am)
I hope nothing else comes back bad.
I am right there with you! I’m a fanatic about sunscreen, though I seem to miss places and end up with oddly shaped burns.
Oh my! Thankfully you had them checked and didn’t brush it off as nothing. Be sure to keep up on those rechecks too.
My stepson is very fair and burns on cloudy days so I am also applying sunscreen to him. I am not so cautious with the other 2 but will be starting now.
I just recently got a really nasty sunburn, peeled for weeks. I never even saw a bottle of sunscreen as a kid on the Florida beaches, my family went for that George Hamilton-esque shade.
I’m sorry you’ve had this scare! At least it’s just pre- and you have a chance to taking precautions. And you are SO right about teaching our kids differently,
–Anissa
http://www.hope4peyton.org
I was the same way as a kid, and now I’m kicking myself too for it. I’ve had a few suspicious moles removed, but so far none has been considered “abnormal.” It’s only a matter of time though.
Hopefully our generation will teach the next about the importance of daily sun protection. Your post will probably inspire at least a few moms to get their skin checked out–to catch anything before it gets really bad. And luckily, the products today are so much better–easy sprays with 70 SPF and daily moisturizers that also give you a fake tan. It definitely makes it easier to do the smart thing!
I don’t know how high of an SPF they sell up there, but here in Florida I can find like 75-80. Let me know if you need some and I will gladly send you what I can find.
Good job seeing something and getting it checked right away – some people wait way too long.
Yup, I’ve gotten that call before, but always with more surgery after that because they want to ensure clean borders. I’ve often wondered why they don’t just remove the whole deal the first time, but apparently my moles run deeper than usual.
The unfortunate thing is that although I am supposed to go back every 6 mo for a mole check, the wait-list to see the derm is nearly a year and you can’t get a new appt until you’ve had your first… ack!
I just found these shirts a couple of days ago. They even make shirts for kids that are “cool”. (i.e. they’ll wear them and you don’t have to worry so much if the sunscreen was applied!)
Anyway, the site is http://www.uvskinz.com
Scary..I keep looking at these 2 new moles/age spots/son spots on my hand. Guess I should get those checked.
That is so scary. I don’t get a lot of sun, and my skin is pretty olive, but I’m still careful. My olive kid though is so hard to get sunscreen on. I need to try harder.
Christina: first I gotta say OMG but having it checked out puts you miles ahead of many.
Like you (as you know) I’m a ghost and it killed me when I was a kid. All my friends tanned and back then, deep rich shiny tans were all the rage. I burned like a mo’fo every summer and now pay for it by having checks done every once in a while (I figure that swiss cheese is better than the alternative). I’m now a sunscreen worshipper and am trying to make reflective white, the new trend. I will join you in this fight! Yargh!