A Mommy Story

My best chance to ever wear a bikini was when I was a kid. I had no body image issues, and I was pretty fit thanks to a merciless workout of climbing, running and jumping all day long, and little time to eat because there was so much to do and see!

And yet the one time in my life when I could have pulled off a bikini, I never did. That’s because I was a tomboy who loved to be rough and tumble, and thought bikinis were too girly. I wore simple solid color or patterned one-piece swimsuits instead.

As a teen, I desperately wanted to wear a bikini, but thought my belly was too big. Looking back now, I can laaaaaaaugh at how I thought I was so fat, because really? A size 10? It isn’t fat. I bought a cute two piece when I was a junior in high school, determined to shape up enough to go to the pool and flaunt my teal bikini. But it sat in my closet all year, because even though I fit it, my belly was still a little too poochy for me to feel comfortable.

I stuck to my reliable one-piece suit for my early 20’s also. (The one in the picture above.) And then after I became a mom, and added several more pounds and loose skin, I did what I thought I’d never do: I bought a swim dress. (The picture to the left is nearly identical to my swimdress.)

I have to admit, I looked fabulous in that swim dress – it’s a flattering cut that hides the hips and upper thighs. I could walk proudly on the beach without feeling the least bit self-conscious.

But there was only one problem: I looked good in it only while it was dry. Getting it wet negated the entire effect, and also left me with a heavy wet skirt clinging to my legs awkwardly. Swimming was also difficult, because more than once the skirt would float up, giving the appearance of some sadly deflated floaty around my waist.

I’ve lost some of the baby weight that has so badly affected my self-esteem (wondering how my Hot by BlogHer mission is going? I’ll have an update soon!), and I’ve decided that swim dress will be finding a new home at Goodwill. I don’t want it anymore. I have the confidence to go without the bulky skirt, and my new healthy habits will ensure that my one-piece looks better and better on me as the summer progresses.

Will I ever wear that bikini? Probably not. I don’t even think I want to wear a skimpy bathing suit anymore. But a tankini? That’s a possibility, maybe even this year. Because while I’m not as interested in showing off at the pool anymore, I still want to be comfortable and look good.

This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by BOCA to promote their new Balanced Living group. (Don’t we all need a little more balance in our lives?) You can participate by writing a post about your swimsuit before midnight tonight.