A Mommy Story

Yes, with air quotes.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, go watch it before reading further.

So what are my thoughts on it? Well, it was OK. The taped segment with Mir, Kristen and Jill was a good segment, although I felt like something was missing. In talking with Mir and Kristen on Twitter, I learned that the topic of community was brought up more in that interview, but was edited out, along with the sentiment that much of what we blog can be seen as a love letter to our children. It seems that Today wanted to focus more on the financial and moral aspects of being a mommyblogger this time.

Each of these issues has been featured on mainstream media before. Good Morning America spoke with Susan Wagner about making money online, and who can forget the Today Show feature on cocktail playdates. This time, questions seemed to be focused on the effect of corporate America’s new attention towards mom bloggers and issues of privacy in blogging about our children and families.

Mir, Kristen and Jill couldn’t have done a better job with the questions they were given. Kristen’s infamous duck came back to haunt her, but at no point in the interview did any of them look uncomfortable with the discussion.

Following that taped segment, Kathie Lee Gifford then did a live interview with Heather Armstrong (aka Dooce). Again, Heather did a great job with the questions she was given, but I felt the interview was doomed from the start when Kathie Lee said that she didn’t understand computers. Soon it was clear that Heather was being put on the defensive because she writes about personal issues in a forum where anyone can read.

At one point Kathie Lee said, “You seem like a lovely lady….BUT…” and while the “but” was sugar coated, the underlying message was that she disapproved of Heather posting intimate details and pictures of her daughter on the internet. Before Heather had a chance to answer, she was cut off for an introduction to the next segment. (And let’s not even get started on how Kathie Lee talked about her kids on TV on a near daily basis when she was with Regis. How is that different?)

I wondered what the Today Show expected its viewers to take away from this segment. Did they want them all to rush out and start mommy blogs, because clearly there was money to be made from it? Or were they trying to caution moms against exploiting their children and opening them up to stalkers by blogging about them? The messages seemed contradictory to me, not unlike the old dichotomy of “Women should have equal rights! Get out there and work! Oh wait, you’re going to be a mom? How can you abandon your child by working? You should be at home!”

I’m already tired of the privacy concerns thrown at mom bloggers. Do you seriously think that we didn’t consider privacy when we first blogged about our children? Yes, anyone can come by and see pictures of my daughters. But any stranger could also see them (live! and in person!) if we were walking down the street, shopping at the grocery store, visiting an amusement park, etc. Stalkers aren’t exclusive to the internet – they live in communities, too. And it’s not like all of the internet comes past my blog daily. The handful of visitors I get here each week is less than the number of people who would see them if we went to a concert.

As for the issue of future embarrassment over what I write about them, I also have thought about that topic. As the girls get older, I will give them more privacy, and stop the minute they ask me to. I already blog less about Cordy’s daily life than when she was younger. I have limits on what topics I’ll blog about – for example, I’ve said Cordy is not potty trained, but you won’t be reading the finer details of how potty training is going. And really, they’re going to be embarrassed by me for far more relevant reasons when they’re teens – this is minor compared to your average teenage angst topics.

There will always be aspects of my daughters that readers will never know about. Some of it I can’t find words for, and other parts I selfishly hold close. I love sharing my story – and as a result, their stories – with those who come into my blogosphere, but some of their unique characteristics are just for me and those who are close to us to share. No matter how much you read about them, I guarantee you that you would still be surprised about aspects of their personalities were you to meet them in person. The same could be said about me, or most any other blogger, I’d imagine.

While the entire segment wasn’t a train wreck, it still lacked a lot of information. I’m saddened that the entire aspect of community was glossed over. Listen, I doubt there are many moms out there who start blogging because they want to make a ton of money, gain power with corporations, or find new ways to exploit their kids and guarantee future embarrassment. Most of us do it for the community. We seek out other moms who we can identify with, sharing our stories, gaining knowledge from those who have been through what we’re going through, or just providing support for others when they need it.

There aren’t a lot of new moms in my neighborhood. And most people here keep to themselves, so making mom friends isn’t easy. But I can count several moms that I met online as friends. We may not live in the same state, and we may have never met in person, but we have a common experience that ties us together.

I wrote in the comments of another blog yesterday that if I was forced to give up blogging tomorrow – completely quit posting, reading, commenting, everything – I might miss the product promotions and giveaways, and I might miss the little bit of ad revenue I make each month. But not being able to participate in the community, to laugh and cry and commiserate along with friends – friends I made not because we live in the same area, are in the same socioeconomic group, or look similar, but friends I made because of our words alone – would be devastating to me.

You’re all my people. My community. That’s why I keep doing this. And I hope that my daughters will someday read these ramblings and have a new appreciation and understanding of their mother, along with an account of days they can’t remember. The money, the trips? All icing on an already tasty cake. Yummy, but superfluous.

Kathie Lee? You don’t know what you’re missing.