Yes, with air quotes.
If you haven’t seen the video yet, go watch it before reading further.
So what are my thoughts on it? Well, it was OK. The taped segment with Mir, Kristen and Jill was a good segment, although I felt like something was missing. In talking with Mir and Kristen on Twitter, I learned that the topic of community was brought up more in that interview, but was edited out, along with the sentiment that much of what we blog can be seen as a love letter to our children. It seems that Today wanted to focus more on the financial and moral aspects of being a mommyblogger this time.
Each of these issues has been featured on mainstream media before. Good Morning America spoke with Susan Wagner about making money online, and who can forget the Today Show feature on cocktail playdates. This time, questions seemed to be focused on the effect of corporate America’s new attention towards mom bloggers and issues of privacy in blogging about our children and families.
Mir, Kristen and Jill couldn’t have done a better job with the questions they were given. Kristen’s infamous duck came back to haunt her, but at no point in the interview did any of them look uncomfortable with the discussion.
Following that taped segment, Kathie Lee Gifford then did a live interview with Heather Armstrong (aka Dooce). Again, Heather did a great job with the questions she was given, but I felt the interview was doomed from the start when Kathie Lee said that she didn’t understand computers. Soon it was clear that Heather was being put on the defensive because she writes about personal issues in a forum where anyone can read.
At one point Kathie Lee said, “You seem like a lovely lady….BUT…” and while the “but” was sugar coated, the underlying message was that she disapproved of Heather posting intimate details and pictures of her daughter on the internet. Before Heather had a chance to answer, she was cut off for an introduction to the next segment. (And let’s not even get started on how Kathie Lee talked about her kids on TV on a near daily basis when she was with Regis. How is that different?)
I wondered what the Today Show expected its viewers to take away from this segment. Did they want them all to rush out and start mommy blogs, because clearly there was money to be made from it? Or were they trying to caution moms against exploiting their children and opening them up to stalkers by blogging about them? The messages seemed contradictory to me, not unlike the old dichotomy of “Women should have equal rights! Get out there and work! Oh wait, you’re going to be a mom? How can you abandon your child by working? You should be at home!”
I’m already tired of the privacy concerns thrown at mom bloggers. Do you seriously think that we didn’t consider privacy when we first blogged about our children? Yes, anyone can come by and see pictures of my daughters. But any stranger could also see them (live! and in person!) if we were walking down the street, shopping at the grocery store, visiting an amusement park, etc. Stalkers aren’t exclusive to the internet – they live in communities, too. And it’s not like all of the internet comes past my blog daily. The handful of visitors I get here each week is less than the number of people who would see them if we went to a concert.
As for the issue of future embarrassment over what I write about them, I also have thought about that topic. As the girls get older, I will give them more privacy, and stop the minute they ask me to. I already blog less about Cordy’s daily life than when she was younger. I have limits on what topics I’ll blog about – for example, I’ve said Cordy is not potty trained, but you won’t be reading the finer details of how potty training is going. And really, they’re going to be embarrassed by me for far more relevant reasons when they’re teens – this is minor compared to your average teenage angst topics.
There will always be aspects of my daughters that readers will never know about. Some of it I can’t find words for, and other parts I selfishly hold close. I love sharing my story – and as a result, their stories – with those who come into my blogosphere, but some of their unique characteristics are just for me and those who are close to us to share. No matter how much you read about them, I guarantee you that you would still be surprised about aspects of their personalities were you to meet them in person. The same could be said about me, or most any other blogger, I’d imagine.
While the entire segment wasn’t a train wreck, it still lacked a lot of information. I’m saddened that the entire aspect of community was glossed over. Listen, I doubt there are many moms out there who start blogging because they want to make a ton of money, gain power with corporations, or find new ways to exploit their kids and guarantee future embarrassment. Most of us do it for the community. We seek out other moms who we can identify with, sharing our stories, gaining knowledge from those who have been through what we’re going through, or just providing support for others when they need it.
There aren’t a lot of new moms in my neighborhood. And most people here keep to themselves, so making mom friends isn’t easy. But I can count several moms that I met online as friends. We may not live in the same state, and we may have never met in person, but we have a common experience that ties us together.
I wrote in the comments of another blog yesterday that if I was forced to give up blogging tomorrow – completely quit posting, reading, commenting, everything – I might miss the product promotions and giveaways, and I might miss the little bit of ad revenue I make each month. But not being able to participate in the community, to laugh and cry and commiserate along with friends – friends I made not because we live in the same area, are in the same socioeconomic group, or look similar, but friends I made because of our words alone – would be devastating to me.
You’re all my people. My community. That’s why I keep doing this. And I hope that my daughters will someday read these ramblings and have a new appreciation and understanding of their mother, along with an account of days they can’t remember. The money, the trips? All icing on an already tasty cake. Yummy, but superfluous.
Kathie Lee? You don’t know what you’re missing.
I think its pretty cool that the hubby quit his job to run the wife’s company. That shows a level of support not every marriage has.
You said, “The handful of visitors I get here each week is less than the number of people who would see them if we went to a concert.” Woman, I want to hug you for that. The next time someone (ie members of my family) express “stalker concern” I’m using your quote!
AM off to watch the segment now.
You pretty much said exactly what I was thinking about the entire thing.
I really wish someone would address the community aspect. It is the reason I was drawn into blogging and I really don’t know what kind of life I would have right now if not for the community I have become a part of due to blogging.
Well said. Maybe they will “get it” one day. Or maybe not. But we will always understand it.
once again, the media picks up on an issue that’s nothing new and expresses amazement.
the “Wow,and your husband quit his job…”, was silly.
i guess any press is good press though.
Patty – http://www.gatheringhome.com/
I love being in your blogosphere.
Kathie Lee is obviously a COMPLETE idiot. The whole segment was pretty pointless. Too bad. We mommybloggers have LOTS of great stuff to say.
you touched on so many good points.
I have an aunt, non reader of my blog, who called me after this segment dying to know how much money I make and if I would help her start a blog so she can start “raking in the dough” I didn’t know how to respond to that so I just chuckled.
The Today Show really was vague and misleading with their report. They should ask the “mommybloggers” of the world to tape a segment for them.
Pretty much just how I felt too, and judging from Twitter… everyone else, too.
hear flippin’ hear.
christina (and others), you have hit the nail firmly on the head.
Amen to that! I think Kathie Lee is a total tool. She was doing the exact thing that we are now doing only more people saw her on tv than visit blogs. I hope that my kids are able to go back and read what I wrote and laugh at all the silly and funny things they did as children. I also hope that they are able to learn more about me as a mother by reading the blog.
Well said, Christina. I am always astounded when people assume that bloggers, especially parent bloggers, haven’t considered the privacy aspects of blogging. I don’t know a parent blogger who has not done so. Most have very strong, and personal, reasons for the decisions they made — how much to share, whether to use real names or surnames, whether to post photos and so on.
As for Kathie Lee, I have to hope that she continues to not know what she is missing. 🙂
Yeah. I wasn’t too thrilled about the comment roughly saying “Wow, and your husband quit his job to run YOUR company?”
Women quit their jobs all the time to raise kids, handle households, etc. It is considered a “non issue,” but when a man puts his wife’s career first it is A Big Deal?
Kathie Lee also admitted that she didn’t know alot about blogging and being “afraid of the computer.”
I think she meant, the Internet…but, I’m not sure.
As I Twitted, earlier:
KLG: U don’t have to have mad computer skillz to be a mom blogger. A good heart and open mind helps, though. The rest is Blogging 101.
Or, see Christina’s post ;o)
I just watched in on TIVO. It was, as usual, a pointless segment, which is why you couldn’t figure out the point.
They seem to have forgotten the concept of:
beginning: intelligent introduction of subject with thesis and interest grab
middle: exploration of topic and subject with experts, data, etc.
end: summary, conclusion
They left it with the implication that marketers are seeking out ALL mommybloggers (they aren’t), all blogs can capitalize on advertisements (they can’t) and all blogs tread on privacy frequently (they don’t).
I wasn’t very impressed. But I agree the ladies did look good—and sounded good for as much as we got to hear!
Well put to compare Kathie Lee capitalizing on TV about her kids.
I think Heather was about to say that but got cut off.
Yeah, KLG SUCKED. I can’t stand her, never could. And yes, she used to THROW her kids and her idyllic family life in our face all the time..until hubby got in a little trouble.
I was looking forward to seeing Heather, but was so disappointed that KLG took over conversation and barely let her get a word in edgewise. I actually felt sorry for Heather. What a waste of her time.
I have long believed that the Today Show (and GMA for that matter) are geared toward adults with severe ADD. They seem to assume that their viewers’ attention spans cannot tolerate any segment lasting more than 3 minutes. Consequently, they fail to go into ANY kind of depth on any topic they touch. It’s kind of like going through the newspaper and only reading the headlines – you can say you are up to date on the latest news, but you really know little more than you did before.
Because our local NBC station is bizarre and runs two hours of Today and then takes an hour break before airing the last hour, I didn’t see the piece until 11:30 am central time. I had followed some of the conversation on Twitter and thought maybe KLG was going to make a somewhat profound point like “I talked about my kids publically all the time and now wish I hadn’t”. I might have been able to give that some consideration. But to pretend that she never spoke about her kids and then get all Judgy-McJudgerson?? Spare me!
Sorry to rant in your comments!
Delurking to say Amen to all you said. I haven’t been able to watch the clip yet. I was afraid to watch it before reading about what happened first.
Nodding…
I was happy for the ladies on the show. It must have been so exciting! But I can see that it was really edited, and I wondered at what was cut…
Points well made, Christina, as usual!
I actually went ahead and wrote about this for BlogHer along with my “inside” view (and citing your post), but bottom line, I was disappointed.
I agree. For the record, I thought Today totally lowered their standards when they hired Kathy Lee. What audience are they trying to grab?!
As for not posting about your kiddos…
If you don’t put it out there, how will anyone else realize they are not alone? Maybe there is one other mom with a mildly Autistic child who hasn’t potty trained. YOU help her feel normal. How is that a bad thing?
You have written about this topic so well. I am nodding my head in agreement.
I watched the segment and I got the impression that Kathie Lee was bored with the topic. That was a turn-off for me. Heather was great, despite the way her interviewers acted.
You’re SO right, Christina. Like WI Mommy above, I watched about a million hours of Today’s various versions and permutations before i finally got to the segment. So utterly inane!
You know, every time I watch the Today show, I am left disappointed. SOmetimes the promos look interesting, but the segments are so short as to be meaningless. I don’t know why I always expect more but it’s always the same: surface crap. You get more from the promo than the segment. All that just to say it’s not just the Mommybloggers that get the short end of the stick.
But this post was extremely well said and I’m sure I’ll agree with all of it if I ever get around to watching the video.
(Also, thanks, Christina, for leaving me such a kind comment this morning. It meant a lot. It’s good to be back.)
I think my main question is, WHO let Kathie Lee back on TV!?
Great post on this topic. I saw the Today Show this morning and I agreed with everything you said.
Well put!
I wasn’t impressed with the segment, but I totally agree with you about the community aspect of it. Everyone that I know who started blogging, be they mommy bloggers (and good lord, how I loathe that phrase) or just bloggers in general, started to get their voice out there, to find other people who felt and thought and lived the way they did.
I have met some amazing people thru blogging – people I never would have met otherwise. People I was drawn to either because of diabetes or because of being a mom. And they’ve all been fantastic, wonderful people and I am thrilled to know them. And none of it would have been possible without this blogging community.
And when did Kathie Lee Gifford move to the Today Show? Obviously I’m out of the loop there….
I didn’t like the tone Katie Lee used at all. In my book Kathie Lee should have been honored to be in the presence of someone who has done so much to make mommyblogging what it is.
My blog friends keep me sane. And how many of you guys have become my REAL friends? A lot of you.
I agree. The community is better than any mothers group I could imagine.
In defense of Kathie Lee, I think she has very real regrets about putting her children out there so publicly on Regis &. I’m not sure why, but she has talked and talked and talked about that not having worked for her.
There, that’s over with. Not in defense of Kathie Lee, I thought the segments were ridiculous. There was clearly an agenda with Heather that seemed patronizing and biased at the same time. They clearly had no interest in letting her speak or answer real or perceived criticisms. To have those two people, who, let’s face it, are way past the age of “mommybloggers” (I’m really beginning to hate that phrase), was a poor choice. I say that as a mom who is not on the young side herself. However, they clearly had no understanding of what blogging can offer a mom, and I think showed no interest in really finding out.
I agree with your comments. I am out there looking for community. I just want to talk to others moms who struggle with the issues I struggle with, and maybe help someone along the way with the hard-earned perspective I’ve gained. There aren’t women on my street wth similarly aged children that I can become friends with, share advice and recipes with, cry on shoulders with, vent with…etc., etc., etc. I will look for community and take it wherever I can!
Thanks for posting the link to watch the video, I so missed it yesterday. You have to think also that when your daughters have children they can learn about how it was when they were little and know what we as parents did in there situations.
I had thought along the same lines as you with the clip that showed yesterday. It was a superficial, glossed over view of one specific topic they were going for there and the rest of it was 10 seconds of filler here, 10 seconds of filler there.
And boy did I notice Dooce being cut off by Kathie Lee. Would have been nice if she could have reacted to the comment made instead of being interupted!
All in all, I was unimpressed with the airing. It seemed more like an attack to mommy bloggers then anything else. Little light was shown other then we’re exploiting our children and some of them are making money of of it.
I agree completely – the whole Kathy Lee thing set me off b/c it started the whole segment off on the premise that maybe computer use is dangerous – add mothers, babies and money and it just gets more suspicious from there!
And yes, when we moved to this house we were told by our landlords that people on the street keep to themselves. And they do. Maybe all the other mother’s are blogging too?
i’m so sick of this debate. we should stop trying to explain or defend our community. you either get it or you don’t.
When I first started blogging (last century!), I had mainly writing blogs and no one knew for years that I even had a daughter (and now son) as my posts focused on propelling fiction word counts higher and higher. As friends in my writing-blogosphere started to publish books and I didn’t, I gave up blogging until one day I discovered those “mommy blogs” and felt so relieved. Motherhood was why I couldn’t finish a book or a story or a friggin poem (and, well, maybe poor time management). And while I’m not part of the mom-blog community save the occasional comment (uh, hi!), I do so love lurking when I am frustrated and harried and in need of some validation.
yeah, what you said.
great post.
Absolutely the best wrap-up of this whole thing. Nicely done. I’m glad I stopped by your blogosphere.
It’s kathy lee (She’ll never get it)… what would you expect from a woman that had in her top ten not so many years ago going on a sailing playdate with “Tiffany” marla and the donalds child.
Her “community” is very different than ours, her comments and presence is just like hearing static.
It was not just the pregnancy nausea that made me sick when I watched this. I agree- the first half was good but short but the second with KLG was awful! It is clear that they don’t get it.
The air quotes? I wanted to punch someone after that. My jaw was just hanging open.
But I think it’s true- they don’t get it and it’s too bad. But hey- one less corp to get used by right?
Kathie Lee made me sick. I really like Heather’s writing, and I thought she got a raw deal. No book promo (boo!) either. I get that they are going to spin and cut to get what they want, and I thought that even with that, the other segment was pretty decent.
On a side note, I’m disappointed that a show that really should appeal to me (30, mom, disposable income) even though I can’t watch it every day, now has no meaning to me thanks to the addition of her. Seriously? Zero relevance to me and my life. She makes me want to hurl.
I still haven’t gotten over MY personal privacy issues yet, and don’t know if I ever will, but I have no qualms with other mom bloggers sharing their photos, etc. It’s a choice and to each his own. I also thought the segment was strange in a way. I think they clearly missed so much about blogging and glossed over the benefits you mentioned.