A Mommy Story

It’s been a month since I threw down the gauntlet with myself and decided I was ready to make a change, which means an update is in order as to how my progress is, uh, progressing.

First, the easy, quantifiable update: I’ve lost four pounds. Not too shabby, I think. The “experts” say losing a pound a week is a healthy way to lose and keep off the weight, so I guess I’m doing the right thing.

When it comes to food, I’m eating at least one serving of vegetables a day now. That’s a 100% improvement over before. I’m also eating more fruit, whole grains, and trying to focus on smaller portions.

Best of all? I lost that four pounds while still eating everything I like, but not shoving as much of it down my gullet as before. It’s true – I’m still eating fast food, still munching on chips, and still enjoying chocolate. I thought I might have met my Waterloo when little girls in uniform courted me with these:

…however I’ve stood my ground against them, enjoying individual cookies without turning into a furry blue Cookie Monster and devouring an entire box in one sitting. (Mmmm, me love cookie!)

The difference is it’s all balanced out with healthier foods and everything is in moderation. (Not counting that massive chocolate cake I split with Laura last week.) And one day a week, I let myself have any foods I want, in any amount, without guilt.

You might be thinking at this point, That bitch, she’s one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still lose weight. Nope, I swear, that’s not me. How do you think I ended up where I am now? Food and my thighs have always had a magnetic attraction for each other. And they still do, but it’s harder for only one cookie to gain a handhold on my thighs without reinforcements.

As for exercise, I’ll admit I’m slacking. My knees still hurt from my Bollywood experiment. (I’ll be back, though, Hemalayaa – mark my words.) Turns out Walk Away The Pounds really is more my speed for the moment. I’m taking the girls for walks on days when the weather isn’t quite so dreadful, using the stairs more in buildings instead of elevators, and parking further away at the grocery store. Baby steps, right?

Now that the basics have been established, it’s time for me to move on to the next part of this journey: working on my self-image. I must admit that I have no idea where to begin with this. I’ve always had a very negative view of my body, internalizing the hurtful words – practically emotional abuse – heaped on by certain people from my past.

I started dieting in junior high. In high school I thought I was a blimp and hated myself. But looking back through those pictures now, I can see how my body image was completely distorted. I may have been near the higher end of a healthy weight range, but I was not overweight.

I need to ask for help on this part, I think. Body issues seem to be something nearly every woman in North America can identify with on some level, so I’m hoping that you, my intelligent readers, might share an idea or two, telling me how you combat negative self-talk, or how you’ve entirely changed your way of thinking. Is there a book that helped you? Did you tape affirmations to the bathroom mirror? What works?

134 days left until BlogHer…

(PS – Also, check out Kristy’s BlogHer Good Health-a-Thon over at BlogHer for more inspiration. She has a great structured method to making changes for the better, if my laissez-faire method isn’t to your liking.)