It’s been a month since I threw down the gauntlet with myself and decided I was ready to make a change, which means an update is in order as to how my progress is, uh, progressing.
First, the easy, quantifiable update: I’ve lost four pounds. Not too shabby, I think. The “experts” say losing a pound a week is a healthy way to lose and keep off the weight, so I guess I’m doing the right thing.
When it comes to food, I’m eating at least one serving of vegetables a day now. That’s a 100% improvement over before. I’m also eating more fruit, whole grains, and trying to focus on smaller portions.
Best of all? I lost that four pounds while still eating everything I like, but not shoving as much of it down my gullet as before. It’s true – I’m still eating fast food, still munching on chips, and still enjoying chocolate. I thought I might have met my Waterloo when little girls in uniform courted me with these:
…however I’ve stood my ground against them, enjoying individual cookies without turning into a furry blue Cookie Monster and devouring an entire box in one sitting. (Mmmm, me love cookie!)
The difference is it’s all balanced out with healthier foods and everything is in moderation. (Not counting that massive chocolate cake I split with Laura last week.) And one day a week, I let myself have any foods I want, in any amount, without guilt.
You might be thinking at this point, That bitch, she’s one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still lose weight. Nope, I swear, that’s not me. How do you think I ended up where I am now? Food and my thighs have always had a magnetic attraction for each other. And they still do, but it’s harder for only one cookie to gain a handhold on my thighs without reinforcements.
As for exercise, I’ll admit I’m slacking. My knees still hurt from my Bollywood experiment. (I’ll be back, though, Hemalayaa – mark my words.) Turns out Walk Away The Pounds really is more my speed for the moment. I’m taking the girls for walks on days when the weather isn’t quite so dreadful, using the stairs more in buildings instead of elevators, and parking further away at the grocery store. Baby steps, right?
Now that the basics have been established, it’s time for me to move on to the next part of this journey: working on my self-image. I must admit that I have no idea where to begin with this. I’ve always had a very negative view of my body, internalizing the hurtful words – practically emotional abuse – heaped on by certain people from my past.
I started dieting in junior high. In high school I thought I was a blimp and hated myself. But looking back through those pictures now, I can see how my body image was completely distorted. I may have been near the higher end of a healthy weight range, but I was not overweight.
1992 Homecoming: I’m smiling, but I’m thinking, “Suck in the tummy, suck in the tummy…”
I need to ask for help on this part, I think. Body issues seem to be something nearly every woman in North America can identify with on some level, so I’m hoping that you, my intelligent readers, might share an idea or two, telling me how you combat negative self-talk, or how you’ve entirely changed your way of thinking. Is there a book that helped you? Did you tape affirmations to the bathroom mirror? What works?
134 days left until BlogHer…
(PS – Also, check out Kristy’s BlogHer Good Health-a-Thon over at BlogHer for more inspiration. She has a great structured method to making changes for the better, if my laissez-faire method isn’t to your liking.)
I’m awful with negative self talk! I’ve beaten myself up as a size 12 and as a size 4. 🙁
For me, it has helped me so much to focus on what I CAN do, what I HAVE done, what about my body is GOOD. I make myself tell myself 3 things that I like about my body Every. Single. Day. Sometimes it’s only that I have nice eyes and a nice smile, and that as heavy as I am now my husband likes me. Sometimes it’s easier to do. Is there any way you could enlist the support of your husband to help with this? Sometimes when I’m really down on myself, when I’m really stressing about my weight, he’ll look at me and say “Well, yeah, but you got that way by giving birth 4 times to big healthy babies.” I know the actual reason is that I gave birth 4 times to big healthy babies with a side of Doritos and pasta alfredo and an ice cream chaser, but it helps anyway.
Congrats on the 4 pounds, that’s great.
You’re doing great! I’ve also lost 4lbs in the last month, doing WW but this week I have not been tracking very well, lots of parties with all you can eat buffet, yikes. We start a walking plan next week though, my entire family is participating and I think it will help me lose some more!
Therapy would be a great idea, but right now I don’t have the time or the money for it. Our health insurance is pretty good, except for mental health coverage.
In the future, though, I fully intend to pursue it.
Christina, you are doing GREAT! Congratulations on establishing the basics and being so realistic about this. I especially admire you for DOING it. That’s the hard part for me. I can talk a good game until I’m blue in the face, but actually starting and keeping up with a new behavior is the most difficult thing in the world for me.
So, kudos to you!
As for the negative self-talk, I have not read this book myself (although I do own it – see what I mean? It’s here, but I’m not DOING the reading part. Yeesh) I have read kazillions of good reviews about Flylady’s book Body Clutter. From the testimonials I used to read when I subscribed to her automatic e-mails, it sounds like her book really makes you look into yourself and confront and wipe out the negative voices and deal with whatever issues you have on the subject. She encourages you to keep a journal as you read and do some exercises (mental, I mean) to work through your past demons that gave you the negative self-talk and other unhealthy habits.
http://www.flylady.org/pages/FlyShop_bc.asp
Have you thought about seeing a therapist? Just a thought. I am working on my body issues with the help of one.
Good for you!
I think that often times, we’re our own most awful enemies.
Keep up the good work. It sounds like you’re taking a very positive and healthy approach to all of it, including acknowledging weakness in the self image area.
If my opinion counts for anything, having two babies, being a full time mom and student, as well as a wife and blogger…. I think you’re a superwoman.
Four pounds – congrats!
I can’t help you with the body image part though. I have always been and will always be a freak when it comes to my bod.
Well I never really “talked” bad to myself until after I had Tatum … and well that went out the window with #2 on the way … I will get back with you on that one after 2 is born …
However YOU GO GIRL on the 4lbs – that is AWESOME! Baby steps – that is the ticket!
Good luck!
YAY YOU! 4lbs is nothing to sneeze it. It seems like you’re doing the right things so far.
As for the negative body issues, I can relate, mine came from going to school from Kinder with the “hot squad” these girls had the “perfect bodies” (Later, we found out that most had eating disorders of some kind and then some lost their hotness later on.) but I received the best advice one day while LG at a local YMCA. This woman looked at me after I had a disheartening moment on the scale and said “Your body is housing a beautiful and dare I say sexy soul, if you remind it of that every day it helps drop the weight.” Basically she went on to say that she stands completely naked in front of a mirror (full length) every day and says “Its another day, dear body, you might have imperfections but you are mine and slowly we will work together to make you better.” And then find something positive about it. (One day the positive thing I could find was that the bruise I had on my hip was fading nicely! Hey, sometimes you have to take what you can and run with it.)
Keep up the good work!
Congrats, Christina. I’m going to put on my thinking cap re: improving one’s self-image because I know I must have some ammo for you but right now, at 7:12 in the morning, it escapes me. Hmm…
Sounds like you’re doing great, though.
One thing that kinda helped me (although I’ve relapsed massively for nearly the same reason) was reading up on nutrition for nursing class. That and seeing open heart surgery…
Unfortunately I have not been so successful with the girl scout cookies! In terms of dealing with the self talk, I have started watching that new show How To Look Good Naked, and it really helps me to see how far off people’s self perceptions are and how the transformation of how they see themselves makes a huge change when they have not changed their body at all. I recommend it.
Go out immediately and buy Martha Beck’s book: The Four Day Win. It’s all about the psychology of dieting & her writing style is SO ENTERTAINING! You’ll devour it (tehe). I lost 15 pounds last year just by doing the “mental excercises” she recommends. She’s amazing.
Congratulations, Momma – you are truly an inspiration – I’m with you…walking the dog twice a day and starting pilates, tomorrow!
Wishing you lots of luck for feeling your best at the conference and me, ditto!
You are already hottie mc-hot-hot to me — and, I could tell, to that gorgeous family you brought to BlogHer ’07 last summer. 🙂
But I’ve been down this road myself, so I know that it’s your own personal journey, both about your insides and your outsides. So good for you for being so positive and open about it.
I can tell you what has worked for me: Slow, steady lifestyle change that included crazy ’70s funk on a walkman, a stroller that can go for miles, and walking (or running when I’m up to it) about an hour a day. And no caffeine. And friends who support me like these are. The old adage is true for me: One day at a time.
Can’t wait to see you at BlogHer ’08!