A Mommy Story

Working on the postpartum floor of a local hospital for nursing school isn’t quite the rainbows and sunshine you’d expect it to be. For every new mom who is thrilled to hold her baby, overcome with emotions at those first little sighs or those tiny fingernails, there seem to be an equal number of those who, for one reason or another, aren’t glad to be in their situation.

I’ve already seen a few moms who had no connection to their new babies. One mom, having just given birth to her ninth child, was completely uninterested in holding the baby, and asked us to keep her in the nursery as much as possible. She was already overwhelmed with the children she had at home, and said she wasn’t looking forward to the additional burden on her time. At the same time, she also would never think of adoption, and declined the doctor’s suggestion of having her tubes tied.

She told me she hoped for no more children, but added that it wasn’t up to her. I’m not sure what that mother-baby relationship has developed into now that they’re home, but I can only hope that the mom is getting some help to manage her workload.

The use of drugs while pregnant is alarming, too. One day we had a standoff between hospital security and a hostile mom. She and her baby had tested positive for cocaine, and the law here requires the baby to be taken into foster care until the mom can prove she’s drug-free. Unfortunately, social services didn’t try to have the baby taken out of her room first. Making up some excuse to have the baby in the nursery before giving her the news would have been a better plan.

So when they informed her that she wouldn’t be able to take her newborn daughter home, she placed herself between them and the bassinet and threatened to hurt anyone who tried to take her baby from her. I’m not sure how it ended, because it was still going on after my shift, but there was a lot of screaming and a lot of threats.

And then there are the women on the postpartum floor who have no babies to take home with them. Those who have lost their babies, left to recover with no bassinet in their room, slowly walking past the nursery with tears in their eyes. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be on a postpartum floor with no child of your own. I can only hold their hands when they cry and help them explore the deep well of grief they are trying to climb out of.

I’ll admit that I love my clinical this quarter, and I’m glad that I was placed at one of the “inner-city” hospitals. These daily occurrences of unwanted or unplanned babies, drug-addicted babies, and babies who didn’t get the chance to live give me a broader view of motherhood. I’m in no place to judge – I haven’t lived many of the struggles each of these women bring with them – but I do appreciate the stories they share with me. It makes the great debates like breast vs. bottle, cosleeping, organic foods, etc. seem somewhat inane in comparison.

(FYI, details of any patients were changed or merged together from more than one patient to protect their privacy and be compliant with HIPAA.)