A Mommy Story

In my early to mid-twenties, I liked to go out dancing with friends and boyfriend (now husband). Our group of friends were not the preppy 90’s crew, or even the grunge scene type. No, we liked the goth/alternative clubs, and so we dressed accordingly.

In my closet are a wide array of bad clothing choices from that period, most of which involve velvet. I don’t know why, but somehow I equated “alternative” with velvet. There’s a stretch velvet top that is iridescent – pink or green depending on the light. There’s the black lace dress with velvet trim. I also had the dark green crushed velvet tie crop top with matching stretch crushed velvet flare pants – purchased from a store that sells stripper wear.

And then there’s this:

The red velvet halter mini-dress with sparkles at the bottom. It may not be the worst, but on me it was the worst. First, I never had the legs to carry off a dress that short. And a halter top on me is not that flattering. I’ve never had the large breasts needed to give the top of that dress the shape it needs to not draw attention to even the smallest belly bulge.

I bought the dress at a college clothing resale shop, and I really should take it back there. I mean, do I honestly think I’ll ever wear this dress again?

Still, it could be worse. I’m not the only one in the family with lapses in fashion judgment:

Want a chance to win a $250 Coach gift certificate? Submit your worst fashion faux pas that still resides in your closet to the Parent Bloggers Blog Blast in honor of the new Harper Collins book The Little Black Book of Style. You have until midnight tonight.