A Mommy Story

I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here.

According to you, Facebook, pictures like this are OK on a person’s profile:

However, this picture will get your account banned:

Those are the rules? Are you f’ing kidding me? Can I point out that she’s showing far more breast than I am? The only difference is that she has some titillating flashy object barely covering her nipples, while I have a hungry infant covering mine.

I’m so tired of the argument that breastfeeding is obscene. It’s not obscene – it’s nature’s way of providing nourishment for infant mammals that, until the past 60 years and the push of the formula companies, has been the primary way humans feed their infants. Do you think women in the past hid in their houses to feed their babies? Hell no, there was work to do! They wore their children and nursed on demand. There’s plenty of evidence for nursing clothing throughout history, showing women could still go out in public and feed their babies. (Here’s a replica of a 16th century gown that was often used as a nursing gown – hence the slits on both sides from the shoulder to just past the breast.)

Sadly, we’re a culture focused on sex. Breasts are thought of as sexual objects only, entirely missing the real point of why they’re there. Breasts hanging out with only the nipple covered in a provocative way? That’s fine! Everyone come look! Here little boy, want a poster to hang on your bedroom wall to jack off to? Here you go!

But show a baby on an exposed breast? OMG, HIDE THE KIDS! YOU SLUTTY EXHIBITIONIST! STOP POLLUTING THE PUBLIC WITH YOUR SHAMEFUL MILK-FILLED BREASTS!

It’s insane.

A quick tangent on feeding a baby in public: Before kids, I believed it was OK to breastfeed in public. Babies gotta eat, right? After having kids, I’m now so much more sure of my position on this. I could barely breastfeed Cordy, due to a long chain of events, so I don’t have a problem with the idea of formula. It’s not rat poison – it is the next best thing to breastmilk, and I’m grateful I had it available to me when breastfeeding didn’t work. But breastmilk is the perfect food for a baby, so I was determined to try again for my second child.

With Mira, she wants the breast and nothing else. Breastmilk in a bottle isn’t even acceptable. Should I starve my child, or lock myself away until she’s weaned? Sorry, not going to happen. I will feed her anywhere, at any time, and will defend my right to do so.

You can be sure that if I’m feeding her in public, I won’t be using a blanket. But I also won’t be taking off my shirt, flapping my breast around for all to see while shouting “Look at me! Look at me!”, and squirting breastmilk all over the floor before I feed her. I doubt even 1% of breastfeeding women would do any of that. Most of us just want to feed our child in peace, and I promise our breastmilk will not end up on you. Don’t be grossed out by breastmilk – it’s actually full of antibacterial goodies, and after all, just think of where that glass of cow’s milk you’re drinking came from. And if you find my breasts sexually stimulating while I’m feeding my child (which I don’t know how, since you can’t see that much), then that’s your problem, not mine – you’d probably find an old shoe sexually stimulating, too.

As for pictures of breastfeeding? Facebook, your priorities are clearly in the wrong place. I can find hundreds of barely covered breasts being shown for a sexual purpose amongst your members. Why are those pictures still there, but you are banning women who show pictures of breastfeeding? Did you ever think that promoting breastfeeding on social networking sites might help other women feel more comfortable with breastfeeding their babies? And don’t we all agree that healthier babies are a Good Thing?

Are you a Facebook member? Consider joining the Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene! group to show support.

Edited to add: Just to clarify, I haven’t been banned from Facebook, but others have because they posted breastfeeding pictures. I’m generally not someone who likes to flaunt my breastfeeding pictures, but because of this, I’m adding my picture to my Facebook account.