It’s done.
Yesterday afternoon I did something that was, surprisingly, hard for me. I went back to work, where I met with my supervisor and handed over a crisp white envelope containing my letter of resignation.
I was due to come back to work next week. A little part of me knew deep down that it wasn’t going to happen, but the other larger percentage of my brain was still trying to leave the door open unless some miracle solution would appear to me like a burning bush.
It’s not that I wanted this job to be a career. It was only part-time, and I had my difficulties with some co-workers now and then. I was a student advisor, which was rewarding, but also meant I had to deal with a lot of obnoxious students who tried to work the system. It wasn’t what I had in mind when I graduated with a BA in History, and I’m currently back in school pursuing a nursing degree, so I knew I would never be there long.
But it was still hard. Damn hard. I nearly cried when handing over the letter, blubbering that I wish I could still work there, but circumstances being what they are, it’s not possible right now, blah, blah, blah.
There was no way it could work. Since losing the babysitting services of my friend, who charged a very low amount, I looked at other daycare options. But $1500 a month for three days a week is more than my salary, and even two days a week at $1000 would be my entire salary, making it pointless to leave both girls with someone else three days a week. I can make no money just as well from home as I can from working with the girls in daycare. Also, with the possibility of Cordy being diagnosed with a delay of some sort, I want to be available to get her any help she may need.
The truth is, I’m thrilled to be a stay at home mom. Thrilled that I will be able to continue breastfeeding without scheduling pumping sessions into my day. (And thankful, because so far Mira hates bottles.) Ecstatic that I get to be there every day as my second daughter grows and develops, instead of hearing what new trick she did at daycare.
I had planned to be a work at home mom when Cordy was born – at that point I had been working from home for four years – but then my former company cut telecommuting from its benefits while I was on maternity leave. Daycare had never been in my plan, but we were forced to find care quickly and leave infant Cordy there while we went into the office five days a week. I was miserable and depressed, which is why I sought out this part-time job I’m now leaving.
(Let me clarify at this point that I in no way see moms who work outside the home as bad moms. I just didn’t plan on working in an office when we decided to have kids, so it was a bit of a shock to me. I’m a big believer in “whatever works” parenting – whether for financial need or personal need. No SAHM-WOHM war here, OK?)
The other side of this is that I’m a little scared, too. It’s strange to not have a job to go to each week, or have an office as my home away from home. It’s frightening to realize our income is taking a serious hit and I will have to employ some drastic budget cutting strategies to make ends meet. There’s enough foreclosures in our neighborhood – I don’t want to be one of them. It’s also a little unnerving to have to think of something to do with the kids every. single. day. Oh, and have few chances at intelligent conversation with adults. I’ll miss that the most.
As I’ve said before, it’ll all work out somehow, and even though I’m very nervous about our finances, I’m grateful for the chance to be home with Mira and Cordy. And this change in status may give me the chance to find new work online – I’m already proud to be working for Family.com, and there’s always the possibility of finding other paid writing gigs.
If the past two years have taught me anything, it’s that I can’t fight the tidal wave of change that life sends my way – instead of being pulled under flailing and kicking, better to get on top of it and surf, baby, surf.
So here I am. A stay at home/work at home mom, arms outstretched and surfing along that wave.
*Translation: Work out of home mom, now stay at home mom/work at home mom
I think that it sounds like you are doing what you want to do and what in your heart makes sense and that is great. I do work outside the home 3 days a week, and that is good for me, personally, but I never judge and think everyone should do what works for them. So kudos to you!
Congrats on your new status. I will be eager to hear what work at home things work out for you, because I would love to find a reasonable way to make a little money on the side. More than that (and I don’t know if it’s a realistic wish), I would love to find something that would allow me to stay at home with my son (and any subsequent children we may have).
Congratulation to you! Yes I know you’re worried about the budget cuts and all, but I bet you’ll be a lot happier.
Lots of free stuff to do with the kids, nature walks, parks and such.
Have you thought about Pay Per Post? I can put you in touch with someone who does this and I know she’ll be very happy to give you some ideas.
OMG I didn’t know child care was so damn expensive in the USA, sheese.
U Go Girl!
I quit last November, but finished my contract through the school year, the new order of things is tight, but working and I’m happy not to have that particular job anymore…
I haven’t quit my job because I have the exact same fears you listed. It tears me up at least once a week but I haven’t found a part-time position and I’m not yet willing to take the plunge and be full-time stay at home.
You’ve followed your heart and done what you need to do for yourself and your family. That takes a lot of courage!
Hang 10! Good luck with the transition.
Good for you. It was/is tough for me. I felt like I was going into hibernation. I work from home now and seem to have the best of both worlds. I was wondering how you were doing as well! I am glad to hear that breastfeeding is going well for you.
That was really difficult thing you had to do. Don’t worry, things will work out in time.
Hi Congratulation,I am so happy for you.I am also a stay at home mom of a two year old.This is the only way of enjoying your daughter.Also check out walmart site for free samples and try to cut coupons that helps in saving money.Good Luck.
I was in your position when Chicky was born, although, I didn’t leave my job, I was forced out of it. It’s a hard transition, from working woman to SAHM. But you can do it. Just keep your mind sharp and hold onto a piece of your identity and you’ll do great.
Whee, go, baby, ride that wave!
I have found that the most important – nay, crucial – part to keeping your sanity as a SAHM is to have friends close by. Neighbors with kids, a mom’s/play group, etc. Our mom’s/play group in San Jose kept we sane there, and here I have found that it’s even better to have a friend across the street with a kid the same age as Sweet Pea. We talk on the phone every day and see each other nearly every day & the kids play almost every day too.
And of course, as you know, blogging & e-mail can also go a long way toward keeping you sane!
I know it was hard for you to officially quit your job but that’s great that you’re also happy because of the benefits it will afford you by allowing you to be with your girls when they make new developmental leaps.
As for finding things for them to do – there are tons of free coloring pages online, in any theme you can think of (we print cat pictures almost every day for Sweet Pea). Sweet Pea will play “dishes and fishes” (squirty bath toys) with me and we’ll get the dishes washed. We have a good tickle session every afternoon when I have run out of ideas, and then we usually end up all on the floor reading books or playing with toys.
Congrats and good for you. I have to go back to teaching in September and am already sad about it. I just know I won’t be ready to leave my baby with someone else. Even though our days together can sometimes stretch on interminably (since all we can do right now is stare at each other and make faces), I’ll miss that. Thankfully I only teach one class per quarter.
Let me know if you ever need some adult interaction.
Welcome! There’s only one period in your life that you CAN be a SAHM, so I’m happy that you get the chance to experience it. Even if you ARE a little broke, on occasion!
Congratulations on making this leap. I know how hard it is to resign from a job – even a job that you weren’t planning to make into a career.
I know you will make this work financially. I have found that when decisions are made with good intentions (like to be there for your kids) that everything somehow falls into place.
Congrats again.
My little guy was diagnosed with some issues and delays when he was 2 ish. I was never so thankful to be a stay-at-home mom as I was at that point.
I’d often think about those moms who work tons of hours then come home and then have to do the therapy stuff in addition to all of the house stuff. They are some strong women….
Congratulations! Big step, handing in that resignation, isn’t it! Enjoy.
Hi – I’m a part time WOHM and part time SAHM and I love both parts. I never expected to enjoy being home all day with a baby – now a toddler – and so was surprised by how much I love it. But I also love teaching (yes, I see those obnoxious students too!) and am happy to have found a good balancing point for me, for now.
Here’s to finding what is right for each of us!
Congrats C!
I went thru a similar decision this spring and became a SAHM after working PT since my 3 year old son was born (I also have a 9 mo daughter.) It was a SCARY leap of faith but it has been amazing! And I’ve started blogging since then which has been great fun. Enjoy and good luck!
Oh my I wish I was you! Haha
If I wasn’t part owner in my company with my Dad i would not be working either! Congrats!
Big, huggy congrats to you!!
For dinners, there are literally thousands of recipes made of pasta and chicken parts, and when times were financially tight during my medical woes I made them ALL!
Christina when I became a SAHM, it was SO WEIRD! And then 5.5 years later when I went back to work — well that felt SO WEIRD.
It’s just change jitters, you’ll figure it all out.
Best wishes for the transition to being with your beautiful girls full time!
One simple activity idea – a plant or two in the garden. Q has one tomato plant, one sunflower, and one cucumber. He goes outside to water them and admire every day.
Good luck, kiddo! Hopefully things will work well for you. Fingers are crossed!
How ironic, I had to start back my 3 day a week job last week. The key is, we all have to support each other no matter what. SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, or whatever your situation…you will be fine and so will your children. Good Luck!
Hey congrats – sorry I haven’t written in so long. But have to say, as a WOHM, main breadwinner, I’m always totally bitter when I hear about another mom who gets to stay at home with their kids. I would kill for it. So enjoy it, honey! They are only small for a short period of time. (((hugs)))
Congrats on your decision. I will be handing over my white envelope next April. I have mixed emotions about it, but I know its what I need to do. I plan on leaving my full time job to pursue nursing school. Good luck with everything! 🙂
I’m thrilled for you. If we weren’t entitled to a year’s semi-paid mat leave, I’d have handed in my white envelope too. Still might. I’ll let you in November ’08.
I’m pleased for you. I remember handing in that envelope almost a year ago myself. I was also torn but, as you read, I love being at home. I really, really do. Finances WILL work themselves out. Promise.
Congrats! It’s scary, but definitely worth it. Our budget is so tight it squeaks, but I love being home with my son. You do what you have to do.