A Mommy Story

It was July 30, 1975 – 32 years ago next week. My mother was seven months pregnant, due September 29 with her first child. Until this point, the pregnancy had been easy, healthy, uncomplicated. But then she woke up early this morning and knew something was wrong.

She got out of bed, feeling strong cramps in her lower back, and immediately felt something wet. But this wasn’t amniotic fluid – it was blood. She called the hospital and described her symptoms. “How fast can you get here?” they asked. She arrived at the hospital ten minutes later.

The nurses began to give her information about an emergency c-section while they checked to see if she was dilated. Surprisingly, they discovered she was already at ten centimeters, and so the c-section was forgotten as they instructed her to push. Right now. As hard as she could. For the life of her baby.

A rather heavy nurse laid herself on my mother’s abdomen, applying as much pressure as she could to help push the baby out quickly. The doctor ran into the room, instructed her to push harder, and reached in to help pull out this infant. In a short few minutes, the baby, a girl, was violently delivered at 32 weeks.

The baby was rushed by ambulance to Children’s Hospital, just a few blocks away. My mother was then told what had happened. Her placenta had partially detached from her uterus (placental abruption), causing hemorrhaging and reducing the baby’s oxygen supply. The labor team then stitched her episiotomy, cleaned her up, and left her alone as she wondered what the fate of her baby girl was.

Finally, news came. The girl was alive, in the neonatal intensive care unit at Children’s Hospital. She was in serious condition, and they didn’t have any information to give as to her chances of making it. After all, at 32 weeks, she was quite a preemie.

My mother visited her first-born daughter once she was released from the hospital. The tiny girl, weighing just under five pounds, had a head of dark hair. One half of her face was bruised and purple from the forceps. Her little chest worked so hard to breathe. The doctors wouldn’t tell my mother much about the baby’s chances, other than it was serious.

Days went by, and the little girl’s health deteriorated. She was being fed formula, but her little body couldn’t handle it. Her lungs were also struggling to carry oxygen to her. A portion of her intestines, unable to handle digestion at such a young age, began to die, and she was prepped for surgery to remove the dead part of her bowel. However, before the surgery could begin, she went septic, resulting in an eventual massive brain hemorrhage. Less than one week after coming into this world so suddenly, the infant girl just as suddenly left it.

That little girl was my older sister, born eleven months ahead of me. Didn’t know I had a sister? Yeah, well, I don’t talk about her a lot. Her name was Krista Marie. No pictures were ever taken of her, but my mother still has the image of her first daughter’s little face burned into her memory. She is the only one to remember Krista’s face, and it’s clear that her death still weighs heavy on her heart.

Had my sister been born in 2007, she would have had a much greater chance of survival. Advances in preemie care over the past thirty years have been incredible – so incredible that it’s now possible to save babies born at 23 weeks. The formula given to preemies back in the 1970’s would never be given to a preemie today. Advances in medications and technology have improved the outcomes for so many babies today that a 32 week preemie, while still needing special care, isn’t considered as serious as before.

It’s no surprise, then, to know that my family’s favorite charity is March of Dimes. Their work to increase the survival rates of premature infants, while also studying ways to decrease rates of prematurity and birth defects, means so much to us. Knowing that because of them, babies like Krista now have a chance at surviving an early birth and living a normal life makes it easy to select them as our charity of choice.

Have you heard of iBakeSale? It’s a free website that lets you donate to your favorite charities just by shopping through their site. They have links to many popular merchants, like Macy’s, Hallmark, Nordstrom, Netflix, and Lands’ End. You click through via the iBakeSale website, shop like you normally would, and then receive a cash back bonus (usually a percentage of the sale) that will be deposited into your account. iBakeSale will then send your charity a check.

This is probably one of the easiest ways to donate to your favorite cause. After all, you’re helping them out just by doing the shopping you’d normally do! I’m now registered with them, with the March of Dimes as my charity of choice.

I want to encourage everyone to sign up with iBakeSale. You can raise money with me for March of Dimes, or you can choose another cause close to you – even local school district fundraising. To sign up, click here, fill out your name and e-mail address, select your charity, and you’re all set. My group is listed as March of Dimes, Ohio Chapter.

I’ll admit that I was scared when I found out my due date with Cordelia was September 29 – the same as Krista’s due date. But I have two healthy girls who were born at term, and I’m very thankful for that. And if one of them had been born early, I am thankful that organizations like March of Dimes are there to help further research into prematurity and ensure that every infant has a chance at survival. March of Dimes will continue to receive my support – it’s just one way I honor the memory of a sister I never had the chance to know.

This post is part of the Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast. To read which charities other bloggers are supporting, click here.