It was July 30, 1975 – 32 years ago next week. My mother was seven months pregnant, due September 29 with her first child. Until this point, the pregnancy had been easy, healthy, uncomplicated. But then she woke up early this morning and knew something was wrong.
She got out of bed, feeling strong cramps in her lower back, and immediately felt something wet. But this wasn’t amniotic fluid – it was blood. She called the hospital and described her symptoms. “How fast can you get here?” they asked. She arrived at the hospital ten minutes later.
The nurses began to give her information about an emergency c-section while they checked to see if she was dilated. Surprisingly, they discovered she was already at ten centimeters, and so the c-section was forgotten as they instructed her to push. Right now. As hard as she could. For the life of her baby.
A rather heavy nurse laid herself on my mother’s abdomen, applying as much pressure as she could to help push the baby out quickly. The doctor ran into the room, instructed her to push harder, and reached in to help pull out this infant. In a short few minutes, the baby, a girl, was violently delivered at 32 weeks.
The baby was rushed by ambulance to Children’s Hospital, just a few blocks away. My mother was then told what had happened. Her placenta had partially detached from her uterus (placental abruption), causing hemorrhaging and reducing the baby’s oxygen supply. The labor team then stitched her episiotomy, cleaned her up, and left her alone as she wondered what the fate of her baby girl was.
Finally, news came. The girl was alive, in the neonatal intensive care unit at Children’s Hospital. She was in serious condition, and they didn’t have any information to give as to her chances of making it. After all, at 32 weeks, she was quite a preemie.
My mother visited her first-born daughter once she was released from the hospital. The tiny girl, weighing just under five pounds, had a head of dark hair. One half of her face was bruised and purple from the forceps. Her little chest worked so hard to breathe. The doctors wouldn’t tell my mother much about the baby’s chances, other than it was serious.
Days went by, and the little girl’s health deteriorated. She was being fed formula, but her little body couldn’t handle it. Her lungs were also struggling to carry oxygen to her. A portion of her intestines, unable to handle digestion at such a young age, began to die, and she was prepped for surgery to remove the dead part of her bowel. However, before the surgery could begin, she went septic, resulting in an eventual massive brain hemorrhage. Less than one week after coming into this world so suddenly, the infant girl just as suddenly left it.
That little girl was my older sister, born eleven months ahead of me. Didn’t know I had a sister? Yeah, well, I don’t talk about her a lot. Her name was Krista Marie. No pictures were ever taken of her, but my mother still has the image of her first daughter’s little face burned into her memory. She is the only one to remember Krista’s face, and it’s clear that her death still weighs heavy on her heart.
Had my sister been born in 2007, she would have had a much greater chance of survival. Advances in preemie care over the past thirty years have been incredible – so incredible that it’s now possible to save babies born at 23 weeks. The formula given to preemies back in the 1970’s would never be given to a preemie today. Advances in medications and technology have improved the outcomes for so many babies today that a 32 week preemie, while still needing special care, isn’t considered as serious as before.
It’s no surprise, then, to know that my family’s favorite charity is March of Dimes. Their work to increase the survival rates of premature infants, while also studying ways to decrease rates of prematurity and birth defects, means so much to us. Knowing that because of them, babies like Krista now have a chance at surviving an early birth and living a normal life makes it easy to select them as our charity of choice.
Have you heard of iBakeSale? It’s a free website that lets you donate to your favorite charities just by shopping through their site. They have links to many popular merchants, like Macy’s, Hallmark, Nordstrom, Netflix, and Lands’ End. You click through via the iBakeSale website, shop like you normally would, and then receive a cash back bonus (usually a percentage of the sale) that will be deposited into your account. iBakeSale will then send your charity a check.
This is probably one of the easiest ways to donate to your favorite cause. After all, you’re helping them out just by doing the shopping you’d normally do! I’m now registered with them, with the March of Dimes as my charity of choice.
I want to encourage everyone to sign up with iBakeSale. You can raise money with me for March of Dimes, or you can choose another cause close to you – even local school district fundraising. To sign up, click here, fill out your name and e-mail address, select your charity, and you’re all set. My group is listed as March of Dimes, Ohio Chapter.
I’ll admit that I was scared when I found out my due date with Cordelia was September 29 – the same as Krista’s due date. But I have two healthy girls who were born at term, and I’m very thankful for that. And if one of them had been born early, I am thankful that organizations like March of Dimes are there to help further research into prematurity and ensure that every infant has a chance at survival. March of Dimes will continue to receive my support – it’s just one way I honor the memory of a sister I never had the chance to know.
This post is part of the Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast. To read which charities other bloggers are supporting, click here.
I was sad to learn about your sister. I think you mentioned her before but not in such detail. It’s amazing how far medical practice has come.
March of Dimes is a wonderful organization. Whenever they send those address labels in the mail I always send money back because it feels wrong to keep them — and the charity is so amazing.
I am sad for Krista Marie and your mother. And you and the rest of your family for what could have been. My brother was alive for nine days. After my mom’s miscarriage of their first baby, they were worried about Jeffery. And when I was born, my father could’t see me for the first day, in fear that he would lose another one. My girls were born one month early, though not without their desperate attempts to be free of me at 30 weeks. My godson was born four months early. We’ve been walking for the March of Dimes every year since. What a great way to contribute. Thank you for this.
My first daughter was born July 30, 2003 after a terrible miscarriage two years earlier. This touched my heart deeply, as Ashleigh is my angel, and a treasured blessing. My heart cries for your Mom and your family. I have sonogram photos of the baby I lost (on my birthday!) and can look back and remember with less pain. I support March of Dimes as well as St. Judes…and I will go to ibake to enlist.
Oh, that is not how I thought your story was going to end.
Very good reason to support a very important organization.
I’ll add it to my donor list.
xoxox
ps – just want to say I’m thinking of you after your post yesterday. Cordy will be fine – you’re doing all the right things to help her.
Remember – take care of YOU, too.
What a sad story, and so lovingly told.
A very compelling reason to support your cause. I’ll add it to my list.
What a sad story. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a child like that.
Thanks for sharing this and talking about the importance of supporting The March of Dimes. They’re a great organization.
That was such a touching story. Thank you for sharing. I hope that people read it and it pulls at their heart to help the March of Dimes, who help so many people today and everyday. Thank you again.
What a beautiful tribute to your sister. The March of Dimes is also one of my favorite charities and I will sign up and donate also….
I’ll definitely go sign up with iBakeSale, and will pass on the information to my friends and family, too. Thanks for letting us know about this website.
I contribute to March of Dines and I walk for it every year … now even more reason to … thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for letting people know about the March of Dimes. After a difficult pregnancy, including surgery at 24 weeks, my water broke when I was 31 weeks pregnant. After keeping me on bedrest in the hospital, trying to prolong the pregnancy, my daughter was born at 32 weeks.
We’ve been very fortunate for all the advances in preemie care in the last 30 years, and so far my daughter is thriving and well after 9 months, but not a day goes by that I don’t think about those that didn’t make it.
Your story was incredibly touching. My heart goes out to you and your family. I completely understand your love for March of Dimes and their mission. They’ve made such major strides and your support will absolutely help. iBakeSale was created for this exact reason, to allow people to support a cause they’re passionate about in a way that’s easy and free. Thank you for joining iBakeSale and stay in touch!
Jonathan
CEO iBakeSale.com