A good friend just had her baby on June 1. We were amazed when we found out we were both pregnant and due close to the same time. She called the other day to catch up and we compared notes on our new little girls.
Her first born was what we called “the floor model”, meaning he was the child that would make other people say, “Oh, having a baby wouldn’t be bad at all – let’s do it!” (We also called him the “bait and switch” child.) He was, and still is for the most part, the easiest baby in the world. He slept a lot, sat quietly awake, rarely cried, slept through the night, etc. My friend and her husband were actually scared to have another baby, thinking that if they already had an angel of a baby, the next would be a devil.
Cordy, on the other hand, was an unhappy baby that could have scared others away from having children. With reflux, colic, and a general pissed off attitude at the world, she didn’t become pleasant to be with until she was close to four months old. I’m not trying to be mean when I say that – she really was an angry baby. The more independent she became, as she learned to sit up, crawl, and walk, the happier she was.
So of course when my friend and I talked before our second babies were born, we joked that now I would be getting my reward in an easier baby, and she would be getting a demon child this time. Cosmic balance, right?
Talking to her this week, though, it seems our kids missed the memo on how they should act.
“Oh, she’s wonderful!” she told me. “She’s only waking once a night, and she’s usually happy to just sit in her bouncy seat and look around quietly. Sounds like Mira isn’t quite as content.”
She said this as I was trying to shush a screaming baby while talking on the phone. Yes, Mira is not quite the easy baby I was hoping for. Based on the past few nights, I think she may have colic. We’ve had three days in a row now where she has cried non-stop for over three hours. Nothing makes her happy during those times – walking, rocking, the boob, laying on the floor, making promises to buy her pony, etc.
Thankfully she doesn’t have reflux like Cordy did. Her GI problems seem to be focused more on the lower tract, as she may be the gassiest baby ever. I may try cutting out all dairy to see if that’s what is bothering her. The thought of no dairy is depressing, but I know others have cut out even more foods for their kids.
It feels so unfair to have another fussy baby. However, it doesn’t last forever, so we will just have to get through it. Although right now it seems that Mira has some kind of sixth-sense, knowing the exact point I open my laptop computer, and waiting until that point to start crying. That could be hard to work around.
There’s just no justice, is there.
I still can’t even get my mind around the idea of a second!
Me and Chris were talking about this just last night. I am petrified that Soon to Bee will the child I actually deserve, and nothing like her good-natured sister. Chris says that our first is the best indication of what the second will like.
I’m going with his plan while I can.
I was going to suggest cutting out dairy. Also, baby-wearing has been shown to cut colic by half. So, if you haven’t considered it, maybe buy a ring sling, or a pouch…not a snuggli, those would hold her upright. A ring sling or a pouch squishes them up like being in the womb. My friend sells them
nestbabysling.com a little pricey, but sooo worth it!
It is totally unfair. In fact, I sort of resent the jerks out there with easy babies. Sorry, that wasn’t nice. It’s just that I’m jealous! (I don’t really think they’re jerks)
With both of my angry children, we have tried Hyosycamine drops for the colic. It seems to help so far with Shel. You could always ask your pediatrician about this.
Just remember, you’re not the only one who got screwed twice.
I had to cut out all dairy and soy (down to the ingredients of things) but it made all the difference in the world. My son was SOO gassy too and they ended up putting him on reflux medication anyways saying that that could be one of the symptoms.
Try the dairy thing. It’s hard, but worth it to get to sleep now and then 😉
have you given her the mylecon drops? my dr gave them to us in the hospital and it made the biggest difference with gas…its mylanta for babies, and i love me some mylanta tablets when i have gas..i bet she would love the mylecon. they are right in the baby isle at the store
Sometimes our children can make us feel like they hate us. May be it is out fault.
I found a great post I would like to share.
Way to make your kids hate you
Oh, hon. Colic is a tough slog. The Pie fell short of the technical definition – she would cry for two hours, two nights a week, but during the day at least she was happy. I found that easier to handle in some ways than Bub, who was that angry baby you described – royally pissed off about being alive and stuck as a helpless baby. He too cheered up considerably once he could crawl and walk.
I’ve been in your shoes, and I’m wishing you all sorts of good things to get you through.
You might try taking gluten out of your diet along with or instead of dairy — lots of us can’t digest it and, well, the result is gas. Lots of it.
That said, I tried taking everything imaginable out of my diet when my second son was a miserable, barfy infant, and I don’t know that anything helped much.
Hang in there!
I hear you. Our babies were perfectly quiet and slept through the night until they started teething. Then with Sweet Pea there were TWENTY ONE MONTHS of hell with the sleep. Now with The Bug, we’re in our 7th or so month of hell with the sleep. You’re right, it won’t last forever. There definitely are phases that go with ages. It’s the getting through it when it’s actually ruling your life that’s the tough part. But you will. And you’ll be stronger for it. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. The whole, “it builds character” line. :o)
Christina, you’re terrifying me! I think you know that Chicky was the same as Cordy – colic for four months and all that too. The thought of going through that again is scary. For your sanity’s sake, let’s just say that Mira is going through a phase. Maybe giving up dairy, though totally depressing, will help. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!
I’ve always been reserved about even trying for baby #2, but now I’m more scared than ever! Of course I’m not going to base my fertility on your experiences, but it’s nice to know that my fears are not for nothing.
Good luck to you guys. I wish I could give you advice, but I’m learning from you!
Hope it gets easier soon!
I’m still living in my fantasy world of #2 being an easy one, but every once in a while I do get these flashes of how horrible things might be… But I’m also really curious to see how Sophie is going to react to having a baby in the house. I sure hope she’ll take to him and not turn up her terrible twoes another notch 🙂
You poor thing. Declan had a lot of gas too. We found Gripe Water really helped him – check with your pedi and see what they think. He couldn’t tolerate it straight but when we put it in his bottle it worked great.
I read somewhere that fussiness is an early sign of being gifted and having extremely high intelligence.
You are raising super geniuses. Remember that.
I hope you get through.