A Mommy Story

I haven’t mentioned it much here, but a few weeks ago we enrolled Cordy in a daycare/preschool program for the summer. It’ll be good for her, and I need the time with only one child around. Today was her first day of school.

Cordy needed this, too. While she is an intelligent little girl, perhaps even advanced for her age, she is lacking in social skills and emotional maturity. I put some of the blame on myself for not taking more initiative in getting her out to play with other kids more often. But it’s more than that – she’s always been a loner, interested in her own world more than getting to know others.

I have actually considered having Cordy evaluated for developmental delays, but haven’t been able to fully commit to that decision. Every time I start to think she may have something wrong, she will suddenly prove me wrong. At the very least, she needs to improve in a few areas. She has trouble following another child’s suggestion of play. She lacks some basic skills, like using eating utensils or drinking out of a cup. Her speech is very good, but much of the time she’s only parroting back things she’s heard on TV. She can carry on both sides of a conversation between Dora and Boots, but can’t answer you if you ask her if she had fun today. (She will often answer any question by repeating the last word you said.)

This particular preschool has Aaron’s aunt as one of the administrators, so we know Cordy will be closely watched. And his aunt has told me that she will let us know if she thinks Cordy might have any developmental problems needing intervention. Cordy will be attending two days a week in the 2 year old room.

Today being her first day, we tried to explain what fun she was going to have, but she didn’t seem to comprehend what was coming. Here she was before we left:

We were dreading the drop-off, thinking that Cordy would freak out when we tried to leave. She was hesitant to come into the room, but the teachers took the other kids outside so she could adjust to the room on her own, and she was soon exploring the layout. Then she saw the classroom fish tank, and suddenly she was right at home. “Fish!” she exclaimed. The remaining teacher offered to let her feed the fish, and she was in heaven.

I gave her a hug, telling her I was leaving, and fully expected her to cry. But instead she hugged me and said, “Look! Fish!” “Yes, I see the fish. I’m leaving now, enjoy the fish.” And she didn’t care at all that I left.

“That was too easy,” I told Aaron as we left.

I knew it couldn’t stay that easy. You know how many people give teachers a gift at the end of the year? I wondered if we should have brought gifts for the teachers today. A gift for you, for the enormous task you are about to undertake…

I called later in the day to find out how she was doing. The teacher started out by saying, “She’s a child who prefers to do things her own way, isn’t she?” Oh hell. “Yes, yes she is,” I replied.

Turns out it was a rough morning. Cordy did very well playing outside on the playground and during swimtime, but transitions were tough. She also had trouble staying in her seat at snacktime, but then again, she’s never had to do that before. She refused to eat because she wouldn’t use a spoon or fork – they did give in and feed her a little to make sure she ate a little. She also refused to drink from her sippy at snacktime because it had water in it. Lunchtime was better, though, so hopefully she will learn quickly.

Naptime was also a little difficult because she won’t nap if others are in the room with her. Keeping her on her cot was a challenge at first, but they said she eventually complied, although she talked to herself the entire time, sometimes too loudly.

They said during free play in the classroom, she chose not to play with the other kids, but instead roam the room on her own. They’ll keep an eye on this to see if it continues, or if she’ll eventually want to play with the other kids.

There was good news, too. In the afternoon she listened to her teachers better than the morning. She handled diaper changes well. They also said she’s very smart, identifying colors and numbers and some letters. The teacher I spoke with said that for a first day, she did pretty well.

Aaron and I picked her up around 4pm. When she saw me, she jumped up out of her chair, saying “Mommy! You found me!” Then she saw Aaron and went back and forth between us, saying “Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!” She quickly walked over to her backpack, indicating that she wanted us to get her out of there as fast as possible.

She looked a little rougher at the end of the day. More bruises on her legs, a scrape on her knee, and red, tired looking eyes. But she was happy.

Friday will probably be tougher for her. She’ll know we’re leaving her again, so drop-off may involve tears that the fish tank can’t prevent. But I think this will be a good experience for her, learning to interact in a group setting, being around kids her own age, and learning to follow rules other than our own. I hope that her social skills will blossom and any fears I have of something being wrong will vanish. And if that’s not possible, I hope this will be a good first step towards getting her what she needs to catch up to her peers.