I haven’t mentioned it much here, but a few weeks ago we enrolled Cordy in a daycare/preschool program for the summer. It’ll be good for her, and I need the time with only one child around. Today was her first day of school.
Cordy needed this, too. While she is an intelligent little girl, perhaps even advanced for her age, she is lacking in social skills and emotional maturity. I put some of the blame on myself for not taking more initiative in getting her out to play with other kids more often. But it’s more than that – she’s always been a loner, interested in her own world more than getting to know others.
I have actually considered having Cordy evaluated for developmental delays, but haven’t been able to fully commit to that decision. Every time I start to think she may have something wrong, she will suddenly prove me wrong. At the very least, she needs to improve in a few areas. She has trouble following another child’s suggestion of play. She lacks some basic skills, like using eating utensils or drinking out of a cup. Her speech is very good, but much of the time she’s only parroting back things she’s heard on TV. She can carry on both sides of a conversation between Dora and Boots, but can’t answer you if you ask her if she had fun today. (She will often answer any question by repeating the last word you said.)
This particular preschool has Aaron’s aunt as one of the administrators, so we know Cordy will be closely watched. And his aunt has told me that she will let us know if she thinks Cordy might have any developmental problems needing intervention. Cordy will be attending two days a week in the 2 year old room.
Today being her first day, we tried to explain what fun she was going to have, but she didn’t seem to comprehend what was coming. Here she was before we left:
We were dreading the drop-off, thinking that Cordy would freak out when we tried to leave. She was hesitant to come into the room, but the teachers took the other kids outside so she could adjust to the room on her own, and she was soon exploring the layout. Then she saw the classroom fish tank, and suddenly she was right at home. “Fish!” she exclaimed. The remaining teacher offered to let her feed the fish, and she was in heaven.
I gave her a hug, telling her I was leaving, and fully expected her to cry. But instead she hugged me and said, “Look! Fish!” “Yes, I see the fish. I’m leaving now, enjoy the fish.” And she didn’t care at all that I left.
“That was too easy,” I told Aaron as we left.
I knew it couldn’t stay that easy. You know how many people give teachers a gift at the end of the year? I wondered if we should have brought gifts for the teachers today. A gift for you, for the enormous task you are about to undertake…
I called later in the day to find out how she was doing. The teacher started out by saying, “She’s a child who prefers to do things her own way, isn’t she?” Oh hell. “Yes, yes she is,” I replied.
Turns out it was a rough morning. Cordy did very well playing outside on the playground and during swimtime, but transitions were tough. She also had trouble staying in her seat at snacktime, but then again, she’s never had to do that before. She refused to eat because she wouldn’t use a spoon or fork – they did give in and feed her a little to make sure she ate a little. She also refused to drink from her sippy at snacktime because it had water in it. Lunchtime was better, though, so hopefully she will learn quickly.
Naptime was also a little difficult because she won’t nap if others are in the room with her. Keeping her on her cot was a challenge at first, but they said she eventually complied, although she talked to herself the entire time, sometimes too loudly.
They said during free play in the classroom, she chose not to play with the other kids, but instead roam the room on her own. They’ll keep an eye on this to see if it continues, or if she’ll eventually want to play with the other kids.
There was good news, too. In the afternoon she listened to her teachers better than the morning. She handled diaper changes well. They also said she’s very smart, identifying colors and numbers and some letters. The teacher I spoke with said that for a first day, she did pretty well.
Aaron and I picked her up around 4pm. When she saw me, she jumped up out of her chair, saying “Mommy! You found me!” Then she saw Aaron and went back and forth between us, saying “Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!” She quickly walked over to her backpack, indicating that she wanted us to get her out of there as fast as possible.
She looked a little rougher at the end of the day. More bruises on her legs, a scrape on her knee, and red, tired looking eyes. But she was happy.
Friday will probably be tougher for her. She’ll know we’re leaving her again, so drop-off may involve tears that the fish tank can’t prevent. But I think this will be a good experience for her, learning to interact in a group setting, being around kids her own age, and learning to follow rules other than our own. I hope that her social skills will blossom and any fears I have of something being wrong will vanish. And if that’s not possible, I hope this will be a good first step towards getting her what she needs to catch up to her peers.
It’s a big adjustment for all of you but it does sound like she had a good day, for her first one! Good luck Friday.
If you think she needs to be evaluated, get her evaluated. Interventions work best when they’re started early. Check out Help Me Grow through WIC.
Wow. This is such a big thing. It sounds like you are doing ok with it. That seems like a long day for a 2 year old. I’m sure that as she gets into the routine, everyone will do great. It’s such a big change for her. It also sounds like the teachers are awesome with lots of patience. There is no way that I could do that job. Wishes for an easy departure for you on Friday morning…
It sounds like it all went very well. My daughter begins a similar summer program this morning and she’s also two. I’m eager for her to learn to interact with others and I’m so curious to see how she likes “school.” I think she’ll do well, but I’ve never left her in this type of setting before so I’m not sure what to expect. I hope our experience goes as well as yours did!
Sounds like you both did good. I can’t imagine that any child being dropped off for the first time wouldn’t have her challenging moments.
I think Cordy will grow to love school!
Dawson’s first daycare on-site at my former job was a lot like you describe.
He despised when I had to leave, but he loved his teachers and classmates.
She doesn’t have to sit down for snack at home? Aren’t you in nursing school? Children should always be stationary when eating. Walking while eating is a choking hazard.
We’re putting Cakes in for a few days a week starting in Sept. It is a big change, but I’m sure they’ll both adapt quickly.
Anonymous#2 – Yes, she sits to eat at home, but she gets up as soon as she’s done. At school, she has to stay in her seat until everyone is done. She wouldn’t use a spoon to eat, so she saw no reason to sit since she wasn’t eating.
Jennifer – Nope, no tears from me, surprisingly. I know how good this will be for her, so I was happy she was going. 🙂
Little J started pre-school in January. The first week was sooo smooth and I started patting myself on the back for raising such an independent child. The following week he figured out what was going to happen and started crying before we even left the house. That went on for a few weeks, but now he loves it. I even added a day for fall because he begs me to go even on non-school days. Hang in there – it’s worth it! I’ve noticed SUCH an improvement in his speech and other skills since he’s been in the program. What they learn from other kids is so valuable.
The Boy had no reaction the first day I dropped him off, then screamed his head off for the next few weeks. Now, though, he barely notices that I go.
Personally, I think that most kids around two play mostly on their own – they may play beside others, but I don’t think that truly interactive play begins till much later. (I’m no expert, however).
Wow! How about you, Mom? Any tears?
I need to call about getting my son in Mom’s Day Out this fall and I havent’ been able to make myself do it.
Sounds like she had a good day overall. It’ll be tough on Friday probably, but it’s tough for most kids when they’re starting something new. She’ll be fine.
I think that this will be good for all of you. Cordy gets a chance to interact with new kids, and Mira gets alone time with Mommy. I know this is a huge deal, but it will get better.
And I wouldn’t worry too much about Cordy. From what I’ve seen at my sis’s home childcare (where we spend a lot of time), a lot of kids under 3 just won’t play with other kids. They’ll play with their own things while sitting next to one another, but it isn’t until after 3 that they start to really interact. Hopefully that’s just her case!
Sounds like you both did GREAT … with the new baby hormones raging I am proud of you for leaving her … I know that was hard! But you are right she needs it and you will be amazed at how much she picks up while being there!
She will often answer any question by repeating the last word you said.
Princess does this all the time. They had favorite color day at day care last week. Every time we asked her what her favorite color was she would say “um” or change the subject like “I eating broccoli.” Then if we asked her “Is it red?” She would say “red” or what ever color we said last.
Its a two year old thing. But I’ve learned to use it to my advantage.
I hope the drop off stay peaceful, but if they don’t… hang in there!
My kids are 2.5 and 1.5 and have recently been shipped off to preschool/camp/whatever. I would probably send them to a boarding preschool if they had it!
Honestly, as a mother of a preemie who is just now officially “caught up” I really think preschool this past year did him a world of good!
Good luck!
What a big step, for all of you! I’m glad that the first day went decently well and I look forward to hearing how today went.
You know, two is pretty young in terms of playing with other kids. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. I took Sweet Pea to play group for a good year before she and the other kids started to play together; they were just too young. If she got overwhelmed or overrun by more active kids (usually boys), she would simply quietly retreat to take a break by herself (well, she usually took me along with her).
By three she was much more interested in playing with other kids and now, at very nearly four, she seeks them out.
I had some of the same concerns that you do in terms of social acclimation, but she appears to be more interested in the world outside of herself as she gets older, and she is learning TONS about social interaction by playing with the kids in the neighborhood. I just wish I could find some *girls* for her to play with to provide balance – we’ve only got boys around here!
Yeah, I agree, it doesn’t sound so bad for a first day. We started sending ours to a home daycare when she was around 15 months old – it was harder for me than for her 🙂 She cried a few times when I left early on, but soon figured it out. Then we noticed problems at her daycare and switched her to another one (a much better one) and she absolutely loves it. She’s just turned two and will often ask if she can go “Ute house” when we do stuff that bores her, like going shopping or something. I was shocked the first few times that happened, but all in all, I much rather have that than have her cry every morning 🙂
We’re keeping her in part-time, too, when baby #2 arrives. For my own sanity, but also for her. It’s been so good for her to be with other kids and it’s quite obvious she enjoys going. I hope Cordy will grow to love her’s as well 🙂
Awww hugs. We put Declan in daycare at age 2 for very similar reasons. And it was a bit rough at first too, but it was SOOOO good for him. Hang in there kid.