Father’s Day

Before I had a child, Father’s Day was never a big deal to me. My own father and I have a strained relationship, and we have never been close. My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my father, when he did bother to use his visitation rights, never made any effort to begin to understand me. He expected me to be someone I wasn’t, and I resented this man who was practically a stranger to me telling me what to do.

As a child, I wanted a dad around, and was jealous of my friends who had cool dads – dads that were there for them. As a teen, though, I came to terms with my situation, and often felt I didn’t need a dad in my life, since my mom did a great job on her own.

Father’s Day was just another day. No big deal. To my younger self, a dad was simply an extra person in the house – nice to have around, but not really needed.

Fast forward to now. I can’t imagine raising these two girls without Aaron. Watching Cordy run up to her daddy, begging him to tickle her, then squealing in laughter as he does what she asks, gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling. She adores him. He is her personal amusement park: tickle machine, bouncy knee, rocket ship, airplane. When he leaves in the morning for work, she grabs his leg and begs him not to leave.

Mira is too young to show this kind of adoration for her father, but I still think she is fond of him. When he would talk to her in my belly, she would wake up and squirm around. Moments after she was born, as she laid on my chest, Aaron spoke to her. On hearing his voice, her eyes opened wide and she turned to look at him.

Aaron is a great dad, and is an active partner in parenting. He changes diapers, he supervises bath time, he makes dinner, he gets up with Cordy in the mornings (they’re both early risers), he wears Mira in the baby sling, and he gives me a break when possible. If I had to do this job on my own, or with a husband who refused to do his share, I think I would have a breakdown. In addition, he’s been forced to move many of his long-term theatre career plans to the back burner in order to support our family, but rarely complains about it.

And as the girls grow older, I know they will need him even more. While I grew up without an active father and turned out fine (well, I think I turned out OK), I know they will depend on Aaron as much as they depend on me. Aaron can do more physical games than I can, and he has a wealth of knowledge to pass on. Also, dads can answer questions that moms can’t. I wouldn’t know how to answer if asked about boys – I’ve never understood boys, myself.

So yeah, I’m really thankful to have Aaron as the father of our children. I had once thought that a dad wasn’t needed, but it turns out I was wrong: kids don’t need just any dad, they need a good dad.

Happy Father’s Day, dear.