There are many firsts we look forward to in our lives: our first day of school, first kiss, first real-paying job, etc.
First hemorrhoid? Not exactly something to cheer about.
(It gets far worse from here on in, folks. Not Katie Couric “look-at-my-colon” detailed, but still more than some want to know. You’ve been warned.)
Thanks to a combination of pregnancy, a sedentary job, and a minor stomach bug, I developed my very own first hemorrhoid this weekend. How I managed to escape one of these with my first pregnancy, I have no idea. Though I had a c-section with Cordy, I now have a preview of what it will feel like post-birth if I am successful with my VBAC. And I’m scared.
The pain started after the stomach bug on Thursday. By Friday evening, walking and sitting were becoming difficult. Naturally, fate had to pick this weekend to do this to me: Aaron left mid-day Friday for a stage combat workshop, leaving me a single parent all weekend.
I knew something was wrong back there, but I figured it was something that would just go away. Everything I’ve read said that hemorrhoids were common late in pregnancy, and are nothing major. Stopping by the store, I bought some Tucks pads, figuring they would get rid of this little discomfort quickly.
By Saturday, though, the pain was something I couldn’t ignore. I felt like such a wimp – hemorrhoids are supposed to be a little uncomfortable, but nothing to cry over. I was supposed to get together with my friend L, but I doubted I could handle going out for long.
I tried to talk around the issue when I called L, thinking up several reasons why I couldn’t get together, before I finally fessed up to what was going on and told her the entire embarrassing story.
First sign of being in real pain: telling a friend about your backside troubles. A true friend won’t think you’re insane when telling her about your ‘roid. She understood, and agreed that I should not be in so much pain. I decided that maybe I wasn’t such a wuss, and went to an urgent care while L watched Cordy.
Second sign of being in real pain: willing to deal with the embarrassment of letting strangers examine your ass. I was expecting to be laughed out of the office by the doctor, but it turns out coming to the urgent care office was exactly what I needed to do.
Of course, I couldn’t just develop a small one for my first. No, that would be too easy. If we’re going to do something, let’s go all the way, right? According to WebMD, there are four types of hemorrhoids, each more severe than the next. For my first, I went straight to a fourth degree: thrombosed hemorrhoid. You can read the full details at that link, but the summary is it has a blood clot in it, is extremely painful, and in most cases requires medical assistance.
It was then I got to experience the other new pain of having two shots of lidocaine in that delicate area to numb it. At least I got to practice my labor breathing and try visualizing a happy place. You can bet that happy place didn’t involve a doctor staring at my naked butt while putting a needle into it.
After the shots, the pain was gone for awhile, and the entire procedure of removing the clot took less than five minutes. He then put a bandage over it, gave me a prescription for some ointment to help it heal, and sent me on my way.
It took three pharmacies to find one that had the ointment in stock. By that point, the lidocaine had worn off, and walking was damn near impossible. At the third, they told me they didn’t have the generic in stock, so I would have to either pay full price for the name brand or they could call around and find another pharmacy that might have it.
Third sign you’re in real pain: you pay way too much money for a tube of prescription hemorrhoid ointment because you can’t bear the thought of having to go to another pharmacy. At that point I just wanted to get home and lay on the couch.
I arrived home to find Cordy was asleep. L quickly gathered up her son and left me to take a nap also. I was so worn out from the experience, I fell asleep quickly. The doctor had made it sound like I would be pain-free right away, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Today I’m still hurting, but I hope it is getting better. Cordy has been hyperactive all weekend, making it difficult to rest. I’ve at least reached the point where I don’t care about sharing this very personal story with anyone, since I’m telling the entire internet at the moment. If anything, it serves as a lesson to other pregnant women: eat your fiber, drink your water, and stay healthy. Save the real pain for labor and the hemorrhoids you might get from labor, not some stupid pregnancy hemorrhoid before the real fun begins.
I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles! Good thing you had a good friend to help you out. I also wanted to say that I wouldn’t really hold that pain up to the pain after labor. Seriously, don’t let that scare you. Things were very sore in the days after labor but I wasn’t in severe pain. The most important thing now and after the baby comes is to lay down as much as is possible. I’m sure they told you that at urgent care and I’m sure everyone else will too but it’s really important! Good luck!
i admit i skimmed this one (i’m reading while i eat lunch), but regardless, i certainly hope that things go back(side) to normal soon. what a pain in the ass!
I’ve written plenty on this. I had mine way before I had a baby.
They suck. Thank God for Prep H everything.
I swear I should be their spokesperson.
Hang in there.
I got a hemorrhoid while prego with the Beast, I didn’t get anything with SlowMo. I must have the mild kind, because all it is to me is a pain in the rear (haha, you know what I mean.) When I got mine I called my friend and said “didn’t you get a hemorrhoid with your first daughter? How long til it goes away?” She laughed and told me that once there, always there…so, I warn you, when you go #2 don’t strain *at all* because that sucker will come right back out! And yes, it’ll come out during labor, but if you deliver vaginally you’ll have other pains to worry about you really won’t notice that nussance. I hope it goes away and you can get more comfortable!
I had them when I was pregnant with my first and after I had him for a few weeks. I can tell you that the Preperation H Cooling Gel will be your BEST FRIEND!!!! I lived on it and the Tucks Pads. Good Luck, those things are HORRIBLE!
oohh… honey. That does NOT sound fun at ALL. At least you weren’t too proud and you got it taken care of.
I hope it clears up for you soon!
Oh honey, I feel your pain. Literally. When I was pregnant with Squeaks, I was plagued with hemorrhoids. More recently I thought I was having problems with them again, but it was much worse. I was crying from the pain and taking an ice pack to bed with me. I finally caved and went to the doc, only to find that I had an anal fissure. Don’t know how the hell it got there, but it was horrible. I got the cream, too, but it took a few days before I could get some relief.
The moral to that whole story is that you need to give the cream a few days, then you should feel much better. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this!
OUCH! I’m so sorry – that sounds pretty darn awful! I’m so glad you had a friend who could help you out on short notice. Yeowch! I didn’t know hemmorhoids were an expected post-partum thing; I never had them post-partum, so obviously not everyone gets them – don’t worry about that! Even if you do have them then, you’ll have the new baby to balance it all out. You’ll be too happy and relieved to care much about your bum. :o)
Nothing is worse than not feeling well and having a little one to care for. Only if we were neighbors, I’d be there for you. Take care of yourself!
Ohhhh… I’m sorry. I never required surgery on my butt, but after Corinne, ah, yeah. I had issues for a while. Take care of yourself, and eat lots of dried apricots!!
Not the most enjoyable experience, I’d say.
It takes guts (er…not the lower intestine kind…the gumption kind) to ignore one’s pride and get medical care for an embarassing condition.
Why it should be embarassing, I don’t know. But the word ASS is in embarassing so it has to be connected, right?
hi there!
I have had 3 babies, and I actually had hemmorroid SURGERY 2 years ago! Oh what fun.
I hope your pain goes away fast!
Sending much ass sympathy in your direction…
Yikes. I am so sorry about the hemrroids. During my first pregnancy, I found that taking Colace really helped keep me regular – in addition to upping fiber and water when I could. Also, another tip for after delivery…I would always eat 4-5 prunes about 5 minutes before I sat down to go #2. It was amazing what that did to help!
On another topic, I read down a few posts to where you were talking about getting a doula. I just hired one for my birth in August because I don’t have anyone to be with me in the hospital either and during my first birth I felt horribly alone and scared and it was long and traumatic. It IS expensive to hire a doula, but if you can stretch to afford it, I would really recommend it. Your comfort and peace of mind are SO important. I hope you guys can make it work.
Also, if you are nervous about birth (like me), have you considered hypnobirthing? I am going to do a homestudy course. There is a yahoo group online with over 1000 women doing hypnobabies. I am really excited to try it. From what I’ve read and seen, it can really help women relax and cope with the pain of childbirth.
My best to you. I’m not going to be blogging much anymore, but will still keep reading here now and then. I’ve always enjoyed your blog and range of topics.
I had one with my third pregnancy…what a pain in the A$$….heheheh…
I hope you are feeling pain free very soon
🙂
This is my first child and she’s 1. But during my pregnancy and even afterwards, I’ve been having the painful roids. It’s horrible. And I recently got it again. Does prep h really help?
I was laughing at the having “strangers” look at your butt part! Um, how about your mom?
At nearly 40, there have been no, and will be no, children, so I haven’t had the joy that is a hem. BUT, I did get a SPIDER BITE “back there” this summer (don’t ask) and it was painful, to say the least.
I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on there, and with no health insurance and a debilitating fear of doctors, I did the next best thing – went to see mom. After complaining about the pain, Mom said, “Drop ’em.” Greaaaaaaat. So, I did as I was told, (she’s my mom, and I still mind her) and she took a brief look. Then she got up and went to find a flashlight, saying, “Boy, it’s dark down there.” Greaaaat.
She pronounced it an infected spider bite, put some anticeptic (YOUCH!) on it, and a few days later I was better.
That’s what moms are for – but still, she was in my butt with a flashlight, and I may never get over it.
Thank you so much for your post. I am going through the exact same thing with my 2nd preg and I’m so glad you shared this and will be going to my doctor have it checked out. I hope all goes well for you and your 2nd baby. Good luck
I’m not pregnant, but experiencing my first hemeroid… And as I sit here painfully in urgent care, I have to say your story makes me feel much better, I literally googled “going to urgent care for butt pain” to make sure I wasn’t the only one. Now… Hopefully I spot a female doctor back there behind the counter, so far only seen a very stern looking man… I’m not sure he would find my swollen rosebud very cute…