When Hormones Attack

I’ve been fairly lucky to avoid the crazy, hormone-induced, emotional mood swings of pregnancy. Maybe it was from years of birth control pill use, or maybe my body is good at adjusting to the increase of hormones to the nth power. When pregnant with Cordy, a friend asked Aaron how he was dealing with the sudden food cravings, emotional outbursts and mood swings, and Aaron replied that I wasn’t the typical crazy pregnant woman, and really didn’t have any of those, so it was all good.

This pregnancy has been much the same, although every now and then an emotional outburst builds and builds, ever so slowly, from many different events affecting me over a short period, and then the floodgates open. Last night was one of those nights.

It started when Cordy chose not to nap yesterday. This always puts a little extra stress on me, because if she doesn’t nap, then I don’t nap. By evening, thanks to the lack of sleep, she was cranky. I also felt like a horrible mother after she was playing too close to the fireplace yesterday (it’s enclosed, and she was sitting about three feet away, which seemed to be far enough), and the heat gave her cheek a slight burn, resulting in one bright red cheek.

Then I read the news story that Izzy linked to in her recent post, knowing I shouldn’t read it because it would affect me, and after reading it I felt a heavy knot in my stomach. I pushed the haunting images I constructed to the dark corners of my mind, and tried to put it behind me. I was feeling a little emotional, but I figured it would go away as the evening went on.

After putting Cordy to bed, we settled in to watch some evening TV. Grey’s Anatomy featured the team responding to a major disaster, and of course, there was a traumatized little girl looking for her mother, and a mother who had lost her young son and didn’t know if he was safe. I tend to not get too involved in this show, and didn’t think it bothered me, even though it was secretly adding to the build up.

Finally, noticing that we had spent the evening in opposite corners of the living room, I walked over to the couch and asked Aaron if I could join him. He gave an annoyed sigh, said something about how it wasn’t easy to work on his computer with someone else sitting on the couch as well, shut the computer down and tossed it aside. It felt like an angry response, and at that moment I felt less important than whatever he was reading on the computer, and felt like I was intruding.

I sat down next to him, and then the tears started to flow. I tried to stifle the flow, but once the first drop escaped down my cheek, there was no stopping them. I was a sobbing mess. Aaron asked what was wrong, but I couldn’t give a straight answer. I was a little upset at his response when I wanted to sit with him, but it certainly wasn’t worth a full-out cry.

As we sat there in silence, watching TV, the other bad moments of the day started appearing in my head, and while I couldn’t fully explain it, I realized that my emotional outburst was a result of a day-long build up. Aaron wiped away the tears and wondered why I was so upset. Soon I was talking about the news story I read, about how I felt bad about Cordy burning her cheek, even about Anna Nicole Smith and her poor little girl left with no mother, and every other thing bothering me. Even though I couldn’t give a straight answer, he seemed to understand. I laughed and told him, “You should count yourself lucky – at least this is a rare occurrence, and I’m not nearly as hormonal as some pregnant women!”

I don’t mind being emotional – a good cry feels refreshing sometimes – but I could do without these sudden outbursts. I don’t like being ambushed by my emotions, finding myself suddenly crying at a minor issue, when it is likely that the real cause is several minor issues that have built up, or simply one small thing that happens to hit a particular nerve that day.

I’m one of those people who cries very easily, and I’ve spent a lot of effort over the years trying to keep it in control, to avoid those embarrassing situations of crying at the wrong time. Like in public. Or at work. So it bothers me when I have that unexpected loss of emotional control. Aaron has become used to me crying when we fight, or if Cordy completely overwhelms me, but I think last night even caught him off guard.

When you were pregnant (or if you currently are), were you more emotional than normal? Did you find yourself breaking down at unusual moments? Did TV commercials or news stories make you cry?

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Comments

  1. I found myself emotional. I wasn’t moddy but would cry about everything. I did that afterward too LOL. I posted about that story today too! Well not the whole post! That is so ridiculous!!!! That man doesn’t grrrr. NVM!

  2. It feels like I am more emotional this pregnancy than last …. I had a massive crying fit the other night … why? No clue … my poor husband sat there rubbing my back begging me to calm down … Oh and I adore horror flicks normally and being scared …. nope not while pregnant! I have nightmares and hate it!

  3. I hate to admit this, but when I was pregnant, I was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e…..My poor husband had to suffer through my emotional sagas!!!

    I cried over a bowl I dropped that broke on the kitchen floor. I accused him of throwing things away without telling me, only to realize I had misplaced whatever it was I was looking for.

    The first 3 months I was fine — it was month 4 through 9. I terrified of going through that again. But I think I was so bad because I never had a regular period, I had terrible cramps and fibroids, too. Maybe that all correlates.

    Hang in there sweetie, it’s all natural. It just hits some of us worse than others. I think you’re doing well at the emotional stuff. Look at me! I was a MESS!

  4. This Pregnancy has brought on a lot more emotion than my first. My husband has definatly recognized it and so have I. It’s not always crying, I am so quick to get mad, mainly at him, lol. But we also have had a lot of stress in this house latly.

  5. I’m STILL more emotional, and I’m nearly 15 months post-partum.

  6. While I wasn’t overly emotional while I was pregnant, I am certainly more emotional now with kids than I was before kids.

  7. yes yes yes and yes.

    hormones suck.

  8. You’re kidding right? More emotional? Breaking down? Um, let me think……………… YES!

    I’m like a totally different person when I’m pregnant. My moods are crazy. In fact, unfortunately, I think I’ve ruined a completely nice friendship with a guy who I think just didn’t understand my hormonal issues. Since my last pergnancy we’re not as close. Thank goodness my husband is patient or I might have been divorced.

  9. Just last night G brought me one of her books to read and I choked up halfway through it. It was all about a baby growing up and how much the mother loves her son. I don’t think I’m any more or less hormonal during pregnancy. I do think it’s harder to deal with days where you have a build-up of things though.

  10. EVERYTHING made me cry when I was pregnant. Everything. Snow. Rain. Sunny days. Rainbows. Cats. Traffic jams. I was a friggin’ waterworks. It sucked. I’ve always been a bit of a crier, but like you, have really tried to keep it under control.

    I’d get really angry, really quickly too. I wasn’t much fun to be around, especially those last few weeks.

  11. God. I’m NOT pregnant and that news story just sent me into choking tears… Thanks for that. I was definitely easier to show my emotional swings while pregnant. I would always put my own kids’ faces on the face of the children who are hurt… Just picturing my daughter wandering alone in the cold, till she dies… That is enough to make me throw up and start hysterically crying and hugging my kids. And again, I’m not even pregnant…

    And big ole SHAME SHAME on hubby for being grumpy to you! Couldn’t he read your mind and see you needed some love? Phhbbbttt….

  12. Yep, yep and yep. I very rarely cry but when I got pregnant with my son, I had several of those emotional outbursts. Recently, I found myself emotional over a new story so I think I may have to take a pregnancy test soon…hmm, hmm. =P

  13. Wisconsin Mommy says

    I used to be pretty good at keeping it together when I was upset or stressed. Once I got pregnant, I turned into a sobbing mess! That was my tip-off that I was pregnant – I burst into tears after dropping my latte on the garage floor. My son is now 2 1/2 and I still haven’t gone back to normal, it is better though. I would imagine a second pregnancy must be tougher due to being even MORE tired!

  14. Yes on the crying at commercials. There were days that my hormones/emotions seemed okay. And then there were crazy days. I ended up apologizing to Josh a lot… oops.

  15. Oh sweetie, I cried at Father of the Bride II last week – you are not alone. And I’d just turned it on, too, so it’s not like I was really invested in it or something. It was within like 4 seconds and I was blubbering. Pretty sure I had a cry fest the night you wrote this too.

  16. I didn’t watch much t.v., but when I did, if a life-insurance commercial or a mutual fund commercial came on.. I cried. Pictures of family and growing and care and warmth.

    I was very isolated and lonely during my pregnancy, so I may have been predisposed to those feelings, but I am not a crier and I certainly was, during moments, while pregnant.

    I think the sensativity that comes over us as we prepare to become mothers, for the first time or not, is adaptively significant in that it prepares us to be kind and gentle.

    Unlike what happened to that little girl.

    My heart goes out to her. I just can’t avoid the image of her wandering in the cold looking for her mommy.

    That made me cry. And, I’m not pregnant.

  17. I am 7 months pregnant with my second child, and have been struck at how much more I seem to be affected by hormones than I was the first time. In fact my outbursts are much the same as you describe – little things hitting me wrong, or building up over the course of a day or two until one final thing just sends me over the edge……… leading to an intense reaction over something that isn’t that big of a deal. I’m normally a very even-keeled person so I often surprise myself, as well as my husband (!) with my responses of tears or rage or intense frustration. He knows it’s mainly just hormones but still sometimes has a hard time dealing with it.. maybe that’s because he’s often the recipient of my moods! Thankfully though he’s such a supportive, loving man, because I don’t think I could tolerate anything less!!!!

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