My Daughter, The Non-Girly Girl

Cordy is not a girly girl.

Oh sure, she wears dresses when I put them on her. Of course, she has no opinion on what she wants to wear, and doesn’t care how I dress her. She hates having her hair messed with, preferring the style achieved by rubbing her head all over the couch and a fleece blanket: frizzy and standing straight up. Headbands, ribbons, hairclips? Never.

She does appreciate beauty, but not where you’d expect. She will hold up her soccer ball and proclaim, “Itz booo-ti-full!” She has yet to apply the term “beautiful” to any person, or anything beyond balls, her fleece PJs, a sippy cup of milk, and her beloved stuffed puppy.

For Hanukkah, she was given a pretty pink plastic tea set. She hugged that box all night, and continued to hug it the next day, and the day after that. When we finally opened it and took out a cup for her to play with, she tossed the cup aside. No, it was the box she liked.

We have yet to see Cordy take much of an interest in stereotypical “girl” toys. Other moms have come to accept their fate with their girly girls, even embrace it, while I watch my daughter attempt to carry my giant exercise ball, which she lines up with her soccer ball and her beach ball, before making her plastic baby Jaguar (from Go, Diego, Go) jump from one to the next to save the Little People giraffe. I don’t necessarily want her to be a girly girl – her disinterest in Barbies and Bratz dolls is, frankly, a relief to me. But I keep mentally preparing myself for her to hit the well-known “Princess” stage of development, just so I’m ready for it and not overwhelmed by the wave of pink and glitter and an interest in shoes and crowns. (Mostly because I have no fashion sense when it comes to shoes, and would be at a loss to discuss fashion with her.)

This weekend, we took her to Toys ‘R Us to pick out a toy. She had a gift card from Christmas, and I wanted to use it before we forgot about it and it was lost to the bottom of my purse. So we put her in a cart, and wheeled her around the store like an empress, stopping to let her look at anything that she fancied. She rarely gets to do this, so it was a treat. We didn’t want to influence her one way or the other, so we tried to take her down every aisle that featured toys that were appropriate for her age.

She loved the fire truck she saw in the clearance aisle. But as is often the case for her, she knows she’s limited on what she can have, and will often hold onto a toy as if it is her most prized possession, only to later thrust it into our hands when she sees something more interesting. We can always tell what she really wants, when she refuses to let go, even to scan it at checkout.

The fire truck, however, didn’t even earn being pulled into the cart, and so we continued on. I did push her a little bit towards the Little People toys, just because I think they’re cute. I tried to point out the Little People farm, but she pushed it away as she reached out and grabbed the Little People dinosaur set. Aaron and I looked at each other a little surprised as she happily touched each figure, saying, “Dinosawr!” each time. Then she saw the Little People schoolbus, followed by the plane, and held each of them for awhile. We held up the Little People palace to see if she was interested in that, but she pushed it away, gave back the plane, and grabbed the dinosaurs again. We thought that might be the toy of the day.

Then she looked across the aisle and demanded to be pushed over to that wall of toys. It was the Elmo wall. (ugh) She carefully examined the choices, and then grabbed the Elmo guitar from the shelf. Musical instruments are a favorite for her, and we generally encourage them, but after hearing about 5 seconds of this monstrosity, Aaron and I decided she must be distracted with something else. Anything. Not only was it producing loud, tinny music, but the music was very slightly out of key – just enough to drive you insane. If 5 seconds gave us that response, think of what all day would do to us.

We quickly progressed down the aisle to the Backyardigans and Dora/Diego toys, and soon the evil Elmo guitar was no more. However, she still had yet to pick anything that she was really interested in. While Aaron took time to put toys back in the right spots, I ventured down the aisle of pink to see if Cordy might like anything there.

Short answer: nope. She looked on in boredom at the rows of dolls, accessories, dress-up clothes, and play strollers. I picked up a doll that looks like a newborn, showing it to her, but she turned her head in disgust, pushed it back at me and said with disdain, “Noooooo!” I held up a fairy costume, asking her if she wanted to dress like a fairy, and she once again turned her head away from the sparkly wings and gown. Nothing in the aisle of pink appealed to her. Even Dora, who was Princess Dora in that aisle, complete with castle, could not hold her interest.

We went back to the Little People, and she once again grabbed the dinosaurs. Figuring this was the closest thing to a real choice, the cart was turned towards the registers. But that’s when she saw the trains. Suddenly the dinosaurs were tossed to daddy, and she reached for Thomas and Friends as she said, “Wook! Twains! Oooh! Twaaaains!” She’s never seen a single episode of Thomas the Tank Engine, but the trains were too exciting to pass up. In a matter of minutes, she had a few train engines in the cart with her, plus a steam shovel, and was happily reciting the colors of each of them. Aaron grabbed a case to hold her trains in, too, knowing there was no way to transport these out of our house without them getting lost.

At this point, nothing else would make her happy, and so the trains were purchased. Of course, while in line, a woman noticed the trains in the cart, and asked Aaron if Cordy had a little brother. (Cordy was dressed in pink that day, so for once she wasn’t mistaken for a boy.) Aaron explained that no, Cordy likes trains, and that’s what she picked to buy with her gift card.

Of course she likes trains. She’s our non-girly girl. And that’s OK. Some day her XX chromosomes may go into overdrive and proclaim pink to be the new black, and Barbie to be the new Dora, and that’s OK too. For now, I’ll start reading up on the parts of a train, so I can play with her as she pushes her trains around on her tea set box.