A Mommy Story

Four days. Four long days. Cordelia has spent the past four days declining to nap as normal, as if it was an option. However, I don’t think she realizes that she really needs those naps, and without them, her mood has been nothing short of a cocaine addict going cold turkey.

Also, in these past four days, other weird behaviors have emerged. Friday night, she sat between Aaron and I on the couch, playing tickle games and peek-a-boo with a pillow. Then, before we knew it, she was laying still under the pillow, fast asleep. It was still a half hour until her normal bedtime. She rarely falls asleep with other people in the room, especially us, so we were baffled.

The other strange behavior is a sudden aversion to her room and her crib at naptime. Yesterday, we tried to take her upstairs for a nap in the afternoon. Normally she’s happy to go upstairs, and looks forward to being in her crib, with all of her stuff. Half the time she’s the one telling me she wants a nap! But this time, it was met with whining and “Noooo, please!” and crying. Let me tell you, hearing your toddler begging with “Noooo, please! Please!” is one of the most heart-wrenching things to resist. We put her in her crib, anyway, thinking maybe she was just overtired, and the screaming commenced. (As a side note, I got a lovely bruise on my chin when she tried to force her way out as I put her in the crib, jamming her head into my jaw.)

After ten minutes of screaming, Aaron went in to comfort her, and then left again, which this time made things worse. She screamed even louder, until all went silent about ten minutes later. I peeked in after another ten minutes of silence, and found her asleep sitting up, hunched over her Dora doll. She slept for about a half hour, and then woke, picking up where she left off in screaming. Figuring the nap was over, I brought her downstairs.

She screamed so hard that she broke capillaries under her eyes, and had given herself a slightly bloody nose, too. I should also point out that she has my fair skin, and even a moderate cry leaves us with little red dots around our eyes from broken capillaries. The remainder of the day, she was clingy and grumpy, breaking down into tears if anything didn’t go her way.

Today, the nap was aborted before it began. I tried again to take her upstairs, was assaulted with the pleading and crying, and gave up before making it to her room. Later, while I was out shopping, she crawled up on the couch with Aaron, pulled the pillow over her head, and fell asleep again, this time sleeping for over an hour before we woke her, with difficulty, for dinner.

Bedtime for the past two nights has been a struggle as well. She whines and stalls, acting tired but refusing to give in to her exhaustion. However, once asleep for the night, she sleeps as normal: waking once or twice, but never upset, and always going back to sleep on her own.

While Cordy is a…spirited…child, sleep has been one battle she hasn’t fought since infancy. She appreciates sleep, welcomes it, embraces it happily, as long as it is on her terms. It’s not like her to fight the drowsiness, resist it with all her being, only to be overtaken by it suddenly, as if against her will.

I don’t know if she isn’t feeling well or if this is simply some new development in her behavior. She was somewhat disinterested in her food this weekend, so I’d like to think this is temporary. I have tried to remain patient, but my own exhaustion from the past four days is showing.

I want my happy toddler back. She’s moody, cranky, whiny, and demanding, all combined with a short fuse. Other than sleep problems and eating a little less, I can’t find any sign of illness, even though I wish I could point to some known, short-term cause for this. Anything to give me hope that this isn’t to be expected from now on.

(Edit: Hopefully my blog won’t crash in the next day or two. Blogger held me hostage this weekend and forced me to switch to the New Blogger. I’m still trying to make sure everything is still the same while learning about the new features.)