Even though I love to shout my opinions far and wide, it may come as a surprise to some of you that I can be a pretty serious lurker as well. I lurk on some blogs, but more likely I’m lurking on message boards for a wide variety of topics. I enjoy message boards, but with keeping up with so many blogs, I don’t feel I have the time to invest in getting to know everyone on a message board. So I read, occasionally feel the urge to post but suppress it, and enjoy my little one-sided glimpse into the world of others while I keep to the shadows.
Lately I’ve found myself lurking on a pregnancy message board, and a topic that came up over the past few weeks really surprised me. Someone asked the group how long each of them would be taking off for maternity leave. I expected to read that most of these women, well, the ones living in the US, at least (lucky Canadians and your year of paid leave!), would be taking as close to 12 weeks off as possible, per FMLA guidelines. However, my jaw hit the keyboard when I realized what the most common answer was:
2-4 weeks.
At first I thought, are they serious? You can’t possibly be healed and ready to go back to life as normal at 2 weeks postpartum. But many of them were serious – unhappily serious. I don’t think a single woman said she wanted to return to work that early, and if given the choice would stay home longer. The primary reasons for returning so early: money and job loss.
For those not in the US, the Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) guarantees the American worker 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year to care for a family member or for your own medical condition, without fear of losing your job. Except that it’s not quite that simple. Your job as it stands before you leave is not guaranteed – your employer must simply provide you with an equal job when you return. And if you have worked at a company for less than a year, worked less than 1,250 hours that year, or your company has less than 50 employees, the law does not apply to you, and you have no legal right to time off, unless your employer is kind enough to offer it. If you are not covered under FMLA, an employer has the ability to fire you for missing even a week of work, if you do not have the paid time off available to cover it.
Then there is the money issue. FMLA is unpaid leave, and aside from California, there is no guaranteed short term disability provided by the government. Also, while your employer is legally required to continue paying for your health insurance while you are on leave, if you had to pay a regular premium for it each month (which is common), you are still responsible for paying that premium while on leave.
Some employers do offer short-term disability insurance, which generally provides 6 weeks of paid leave (as long as your doctor thinks it is medically necessary for you to be off work), although the pay is generally at 50-65% of your regular income. And there is still the rare employer out there who offers fully-paid leave, although again generally for only 6 weeks.
So it is easy to see how some of these women are forced into situations where they cannot afford to take the time off for maternity leave, and must return to work as soon as their vacation/sick time runs out for fear of losing their jobs, or being unable to pay their bills. And to add to their stress, many childcare centers in the US refuse to accept children under 6 weeks old, leaving them stuck to find childcare until their baby is old enough to meet the requirements. Many find unlicensed in-home caregivers to fill that void, and simply hope for the best.
With Cordelia, I worked for a company that was large enough to give me FMLA time off. I opted into the short-term disability plan, and paid my $32 a month long before I had Cordy to provide me with paid time off at 60% of my salary, should I decide to have a baby. When it came time for my maternity leave, I took 11 weeks off. The first 2 weeks were the “waiting period” required for my short-term disability before it would kick in, which I filled with sick and vacation time that I had been saving up. The next 8 weeks were paid at 60% of my salary per my short-term disability insurance. (Due to a c-section, I had 8 weeks paid. If I had a vaginal delivery, it would have only been 6 weeks.) The final week was unpaid, and by that point, our finances were slowly crumbling from the loss of income, and I needed to get back to work.
And don’t even get me started on paternity leave. Aaron got 4 days off.
It amazes me that the US can spend hundreds of billions of dollars on an unnecessary war, yet we can’t provide simple social services to give our children the best start in their lives. We clearly are one of the most backwards countries in the world. Isn’t it better for a newborn – who is just learning how to regulate its temperature, how to breathe, how to eat, and how to survive – to be with its mother and father for those precious first months, than to be with someone who may enjoy the baby, but in the end is only paid to care for it? Studies have shown that infant mortality decreases when women are given more paid maternity leave. Are we really so callous as to prefer to deal with the problems of higher infant mortality rather than try to prevent problems from happening in the first place?
And I have to applaud California for taking the step to provide paid family leave to its residents. Everyone in CA has a small deduction from their paycheck (Average of $46 annually per worker) to fund the program, so it isn’t costing the government or the employers anything. Some may argue that they don’t plan to have children, and don’t like subsidizing the maternity leave of others, but this is not just for maternity leave – it is for anyone who needs to care for an ill family member, and could benefit any person. Besides, we already pay for other social services that many of us may never use: unemployment, Medicare, etc. But if you suddenly find yourself in hardship, those services are a blessing.
The United States needs a national paid maternity leave plan, and clearly FMLA is not doing enough to help families get the time off they need with their newborns. I would happily pay a small deduction from my paycheck to fund this program, even knowing that I would probably never benefit from it, since baby #2 is likely my last child. Saving other women from having to push themselves back to work before their bodies have healed, and letting them spend a little more time at home with their newborn children is worth it. Having to go back to work 2 weeks postpartum is criminal.
As for me, our finances are a little tighter this time around, so we’re still not sure how much time off I’ll be able to take. It all depends on when I have this baby. Our short-term disability payments are determined by years of service. If I have this baby before May 23 (my due date is May 21), I will get 6 weeks, part paid at 100%, and the remainder at 66%. If I have the baby after May 23, I will again have 6 weeks, but all of it will be paid at 100%. I can then take another 6 weeks unpaid if I want, but most likely I’ll be unable to take the full 6 weeks.
Did you know the Department of Labor is launching a study about whether or not to scale back FMLA? MomsRising.org is asking for your FMLA stories and will send them on to the Dept. of Labor to urge them to expand FMLA, not scale it back.
2-4 weeks? It should be criminal to expect any employee to be back that soon. I took 12 weeks and then decided I was staying home. Back then I had no idea that taking 12 weeks was such a luxury. We are so behind the rest of the civilized world.
Cripey. I forget where I read this (Imperfect parent? somewhere) where they said we’re one of 4 countries to NOT have a national paid leave or something to that effect — and the other countries were like Somalia or something ridiculous.
This whole workaholic thing that has taken over our nation is ridiculous — and when people say that this country is going back to family values — I have to disagree.
Yes, even Romania (a developing country), where I come from, has 2 years paid by the government, of course the pay is minimal but you could live on it. I had my baby in US, but I was in gradschool and I managed to negociate a longer leave with my adviser (which was paid from a grant, shhh, don’t tell anybody!). And then I had a really easy job I can mostly do from home, so my baby didn’t need daycare.
I think the government here tries to swipe the issue under the carpet so it doesn’t have to pay anything. Because somebody does pay for the babies in the end. Or maybe it is the daycare industry that lobbies hard?!?!? They would lose customers if mothers stayed home.
I was so glad to see that link about the Cali paid family leave! I passed it onto my hubby for when baby # 2 is born this summer. We are very tighted budgeted because I stay home (I just don’t make enough in the field I was in to make daycare worth it..)..but my heart breaks when I hear a mom who doesn’t want to go back to work has to go back. It’s one thing to want to go back, thats cool. Those who really need that kind of stimulation or who have a job they love!! But in my case? I would be so sad to be forced back to work financially and have been so blessed to be able to stay at home…
I live in California and have never noticed the $46 a year. I don’t mind, either, even though I don’t plan on having kids. What is more important than giving children a good start in life?
I just can’t imagine going back to work at 2 weeks, a month, or even 6 months. It just seems unnecessarily cruel to both parent and child.
I went back to work after having SlowMo after just 3 short weeks. NO, I wasn’t healed up, I was 18 and bored of sitting at home. I had different priorities back then. I aslo remember that girls in my highschool who had babies (I grew up in a large city, so this was not uncommon) had to be back in classes in 2 weeks! I don’t know if they’ve changed that now or not.
I would have expected you to say the average was the 6 weeks. I was a little shocked to see 2-4. I’ll be stopping back to see other’s comments.
My company does have the non-paid 12 weeks offered by FMLA which they tried to NOT have until I got pregnant. Apparently my mouth is too big and before I even had a chance to take my complaints to management, the new handbook was out with the FMLA 12 instead of the previous 6. That said, upon returning to work I was shoved into part-time instead of full-time. Joy.
Thanks for the link, dear. Will spread it to others in our company that got screwed.
I don’t want to sound like a smug Canadian, but that is just so wrong. Seriously, my heart breaks at the thought of a woman having to leave a child of 2, 4, 8, or 12 weeks and go back to work – mine broke after I took the full year (during which time, just to clarify, we get 55% of our salary, up to a maximum, which is not hard to hit. This is paid for 50 weeks, the last 35 of which can be split by either parent. Same rules apply for adoption.)
I understand where the faults in this system lie, and I understand that they are most definitely not with the family. How can us Canucks help?
with my son i had an emergency c section so we ended up with 8 weeks paid, but i took the full 3 months. i also had saved up my vacation and sick time with got paid that as well.
i just found out this week we will be having a number a two- surprise!
and i intend to stay home three months again, because i had a c section last time i will have a choice this time, and i think i might have the section again solely for the two extra weeks pay…i don’t know if we can manage 6 weeks unpaid.
I was back to the day 6 weeks after my first was born. 2 full pay, 2 half pay (a company perk) 2 unpaid. I could have taken the then 6 FMLA unpaid, but we couldn’t afford it. Driving through tears to the sitter; family because we also couldn’t afford day care. Within a week my newborn was hospitalized with RSV. Talk about Mommy guilt!It’s my fault he got sick cause I went back to work & stopped breastfeeding, all those post partum hormones floating around. It’s awful when you can’t afford to work, but can’t afford not to. Things certainly are backwards.
I had my son Fri July 2
I came home from the hospital Sun July 4
I worked Mon July 5
Granted, it was from home and part-time, but I was unable to simply take off completely.
I have so many thoughts about FMLA, what is feasible, etc, that I could probably write a book! 🙂
Here, Here!!
If you hadn’t mentioned MomsRising.org I was going to and I encourage ALL mothers AND fathers to visit their website. They are truly working toward improving the policies of this country so that the workplace is more “family friendly” which will benefit everyone in the overall.
Keeping that in mind, we moms have the power to change what is currently in place as far as family leave goes. Women make up 46% of the working world and approximately 85% of those women are already mothers or will be during their working life. So, really, Corporate America can’t do it without us which puts us in a position of power. It’s time to make some changes not only for one another, but for our sons and daughters as well.
Great post, Christina! I’m actually writing something similiar (highlighting Moms Rising) for http://www.thesoccermomvote.com tomorrow for anyone who’s interested. Great minds think alike, I guess. And if we’re all thinking about it, we might as well take some action.
Amazing post! The FMLA did not apply to me since I worked for a small business. And because of that I was unpaid during my maternity leave and unceremoniously dumped from my job once I tried to go back to work. It makes me sick to think that we are one of the only countries that don’t have mandatory paid maternity leave for all mothers. We sure do love to go blow things up, but take care of our babies and their mothers? Psssh.
What Mrs. Chicky said about our country loving to blow things up but not providing more benefits to new mothers? Hear, hear!
With Ryan, I had to take the last two weeks of my pregnancy off due to complications, so I got ten weeks of leave, and had about four weeks saved up from sick and vacation time. So we went six weeks on half our income, and ended up charging a fortune to our credit cards for diapers, formula and other necessities. My husband used his two weeks of vacation for the year to stay home with me.
I will never forget the day I had to go back to work. Chris took Ryan to his first day of daycare, with a bag full of diapers and bottles and a note from me detailing exactly how Ryan liked to be rocked to sleep and what bottle feeding position he preferred. I remember sitting at my vanity table blowdrying my hair and sobbing, thinking of my tiny baby in the hands of strangers. I’ll be visiting the FMLA website and MomsRising. Thanks for the thought-provoking post.
2-4 weeks? That’s just wrong. No one should have to be forced to go back to work that early. While I stay home with my son, I do work full-time technically because I teach 3 classes two evenings a week and do coordinating work from home. When my son was born, I went back to work four weeks later (the semester was beginning) but at that time, I was teaching only one class, one night a week. My husband was home with my son. When we have our next baby, I probably will have someone sub for me for a couple of weeks, then I’ll go back to work. It’s only two days a week anyway. My husband got a month off (he used his vacation and sick days) when my son was born. We both really enjoyed spending time together as a new family. We are very fortunate that our university workplace are flexible with our choices. Everyone else should be able to make their own choices without serious consquences.
Yep, it just totally boggles the mind that in this day and age, countries still do exist who don’t have paid leaves and/or who only give you a few weeks.
I had nine months after #1 and then my husband took the last three months. Since we both have unionized jobs who have negotiated extra benefits, we received a top up to the 55% Unemployment Insurance you get in Canada. The top up worked out to 92% of my salary and 93% of my husbands.
I think I would have shrivelled up and died had I had to go back within a few short weeks. At that time, you just become more confident in your legs as a parent, your body is still healing and I still had this almost physical need to be close to the baby. I hope this doesn’t come across as spoilt, but I found it really hard to even go back after my 9 months were up.
And as good as Canada sounds in comparison to the US, it’s really nothing compared to what some European countries are offering. My sister in Germany, for example, could have had three years off or a combination of being off and working part-time within those three years and her employer would have had to accommodate her (within reason). After the three years, her employer also had to guarantee her a job – either the one she left or one similar in nature. I know she didn’t get a lot of money during the time she was off, but that’s at least partially related to her husband making too much money. (Whatever support the government gives you, depends on family income.)
Anyway, sorry for taking over your blog, but I’m all hormonal and everything ’cause I’m having #2 in June, so this kind of thing is on my mind a lot. And I sure am grateful that I’ll be getting a year, too. I find it just totally horrible that people feel forced to have a c-section just so they get 2 more weeks paid.
Sorry for the rambling and hey, I hope your babe comes late so you get more cash. My first one was 2 weeks late, and though I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, a couple of days wouldn’t be so bad 🙂
I learned the ugly, hard way that the idea of 12 weeks off thanks to FMLA is just that: an idea.
It’s really a reality, sadly.
What I expected I would *get* and what I expected my company would be *okay* with wwas completely divorced from what actually happened.
It was that moment I SERIOUSLY began questioning my commitment to my career, my long-term ability to be so at the mercy of an employer, and what I really required as a standard of living. It’s been a five year journey but we made HUGE changes.
AMEN to what you wrote, FANTASTIC post and THANKS!
A few months ago I discussed a slightly different angle to the US work culture. Working all the live long day
Excellent post. As a lucky Canuck, I can’t imagine going back to work so soon. Hard to believe this is the reality for so many in such a rich nation.
“It amazes me that the US can spend hundreds of billions of dollars on an unnecessary war, yet we can’t provide simple social services to give our children the best start in their lives.”
This has always infuriated me. We waste so much of our taxes on unjust wars and yet we spend barely a nickle on our families. We should be following Canada’s lead on the 1 year of paid time off (that sounds like a dream!) and add to that universal preschool and publicly funded daycare.
It amazes me (and yet doesn’t surprise me) that this country is now considering scaling BACK the FMLA. Are they serious? We’re getting nothing as it is!
Great post. I hope you get the full amount of leave you are hoping for.
Great post!
It’s horrifying that giving mothers and babies time to bond/heal/get to know each other/and so on is considered a priveledge and a luxury in this country that you only deserve if you’re rich enough. Absolutely disgusting.
It’s crazy what is expected of women. I saw that post over at Moms Rising, too and posted that was lucky enough to get 12 weeks of paid leave after I had the baby, but that I know that’s rare. And it shouldn’t be. It’s a difficult subject. Lots of companies can’t afford to pay for women to be on maternity leave. So they should be getting help from the gov’t. And how about the drive-by deliveries? Everyone wants to kick you out of the hospital so soon, too.
I think its rediculous that Americans are only allowed 12 weeks. Yes I am a Canadian (actually a dual citizen with the US)and LOVE being paid 55% of my wage to stay home with my baby. I think that’s the way it should be for everyone. The other good thing is that you are allowed to work and get paid while you are on Maternity leave to a maximum of 60% of your maternity leave wage. So I will be going back to work 1 day a week to make a litte bit of money 🙂 (Oh and i can bring my baby to work with me!!) Sorry for the bragging.
BRAVO, Christina – amazing, amazing post.
It amazes me that the US can spend hundreds of billions of dollars on an unnecessary war, yet we can’t provide simple social services to give our children the best start in their lives.
Seems so common sense, doesn’t it?
I’m lucky enough to get 6 weeks paid and then I’m applying all the vacation time for the past two years that I’ve never taken. 2 days is a travesty.
By the way, as long as you’re touching on politics here, I wonder what the neoconservative anti-abortion contingent have to say about paid maternity/paternity leave. I wouldn’t be surprise if it’s not a priority for them.
mom101, of course it’s not a priority for them. they are about big business not social reforms
Fantastic post, Christina. This is a very important issue to parents everywhere. Thanks for calling it to the forefront. I will have to check out MomsRising. I had six weeks paid maternity leave after my first child, and I took an additional six weeks off without pay. Fortunately for me, my husband did well enough financially that I had the CHOICE. If I didn’t, I imagine it would feel infuriating.
Wow. I’m in shock. I knew a lot of FLMA’s rules, but you’ve really done your research. I was very fortunate (and still am) to be able to stay home with our kiddo. It means we’ve had to give up a lot of luxuries, but it’s worth it to me. But I know many mothers who have been forced to go back too soon. I had a friend who was given an ultimatum: come back from a C-SECTION after 4 WEEKS(!!!) or get fired. It’s ridiculous. Something needs to be done.
And I’m with you on paternity leave. My husband didn’t get any…he just called in sick the day I went into labor. After that he went to work, then joined us at the hospital each night after work. It’s horrible.
This is such an interesting and important subject, glad you are sorting out some facts. I lived in US half my life but moved when we had kids a few years ago. Sweden, where I live now, have by far the best benefits in the world. I wrote a short post about it a while back on my site since I think i’s very important. It can be found here, http://www.adventuredad.com/archives/parental-leave-for-a-forward-thinking-society/
We get 480 paid parental leave per child. At lest 85% of salary and that’s often 85% of your real salary. Regardless if you make 300k/year. Parental leave can be split as needed between mother and father which means no one has to chose between money, family , and career. usually mothers stay home the first 6-12 months (breastfeeding etc.) and then fathers stay home a few months if the women want to go back to work. Do you know how awesome it is for a father to stay home for 6 months and really get to know his baby at an early age? It’s unbelievable!! The whole system works incredibly well.
We have many many other family and kid benefits, like free high quality child care, and it’s amazing how much easier life gets when kids and family are in focus.
If you are interested in hearing some more, please drop me a note and maybe I can give you some more feedback.
AD