A Mommy Story

Time spent in bookstore to pick up a gift: 5 minutes
Time spent in parking lot trying to find one single stupid parking spot: 20 minutes

Right around this time every year, my holiday cheer is momentarily thrown out the window and replaced by a grinch. OK, maybe not a grinch, but certainly a person who doesn’t like society very much. I know it’s partially my own fault. I should have started shopping earlier for Christmas/Hanukkah gifts. I should try to shop when no one else is around. (Although even at midnight the lines are long.)

I’m generally in a good mood when I set out on a shopping expedition. I try hard to be polite to others, not get in anyone else’s way, and overall make the experience as pleasant as possible. But then I run into the other last-minute shoppers – stressed, frantic, and grouchy – and they start to wear me down. They cut me off in traffic, steal parking spots I’ve been patiently waiting on, run into me with their shopping carts, cut in line, leave junk they decided they didn’t want in the aisles for me to trip over, let their kids run around like mad and run into me, and yell at me when I take the last item before they got there.

It’s no wonder my grip on my steering wheel gets tighter and tighter until my knuckles are white as I approach a store this time of year. “Just get in, and get out,” I tell myself. And then other people make it take ten times longer than I planned, and I leave with a massive headache and the feeling that I’ve been beaten up. I want to enjoy shopping, but during the holidays, the one time I must shop more than any other, I’m forced into a bad mood by the chaos.

What is it about shopping in December that turns people into such monsters at the mall? What happened to remembering simple etiquette? If you’re walking through the mall at a snail’s pace to examine your list and discuss where else you need to go, can you at least not take up the entire path so others can get around you? I understand the pressure to find the “perfect” gift can make anyone feel edgy, but is it necessary to take out your stress and frustration on strangers who are just trying to get their shopping done as well?

It’s no wonder that internet businesses are reporting record sales this year. With traffic jams around the malls every evening at 5pm and every weekend, long lines in the stores, and bad attitudes on top of it, it only makes sense to shop online.

I’ve avoided brick & mortar stores as much as possible so far this month, but with a few people left to shop for, and shipping deadlines passing, I now must face the angry crowds. But after last night’s trip to the bookstore, as well as a few other stores, I realize that this insanity might be enough punishment for my procrastination to force me to plan ahead on gift buying.

So next year, I’m going to make that list early and preferably shop online as much as possible. Or become rich enough to afford a personal shopper.

And to the big athletic guy who stole the parking spot I was waiting for (with my blinker on, no less): I hope you felt at least a twinge of guilt as I walked past you later with my pregnant belly poking out from under my coat.