Adventures in Toddlerhood

We have entered a new phase in Cordy’s development: the “no” phase.

She has known of the word no for quite some time now. Surprisingly, it wasn’t one of the first words she picked up, but the meaning was always clear to her. When she was just a year old, a stern “no” from me when she was getting into something she shouldn’t would lead to a moment of surprise, then the puckered up face, and then tears and disheartening cries. It was as if that simple word had caused grave injury to her soul, and for the next five minutes, nothing was right with the world.

Once she learned to say no, she was so gentle in saying it that I thought she clearly didn’t understand its power. If offered something she did not want, she would give a polite “nooooo”, the tone of which carried the message (in a proper British accent, of course): “Oh mother, tisk, tisk…were you unaware that I am currently not interested in that piece of food? How silly, mother!”

During the past few weeks, however, she seems to have learned the true force behind the word. Now, offering her something she doesn’t want is met with a loud, rude “NO!” as if she is completely insulted and disgusted that we would think to offer that thing to her.

However, the power of the word has now gone to her head, and it has become the knee-jerk response to anything asked or offered to her. She says no without thinking it through, when often she means yes. It’s almost funny to ask her, “Cordy, would you like some milk?” and have her answer “No!” as she takes the sippy cup from your hands and guzzles the contents.

She may soon regret always saying no, when someone who doesn’t understand her “no means yes” philosophy denies her a toy or treat due to her insistence that she didn’t want it. Of course, that would require her to actually look at someone other than Aaron or I.

Yes, Cordy has picked up another new toddler habit: she now closes her eyes when strangers, or sometimes even people she knows, try to talk to her. If she doesn’t want to interact, she pinches those eyelids shut and holds them tightly closed, still facing the person attempting to make contact. The message is clear: I don’t want to deal with you. If I close my eyes, then you don’t exist.

Most people are generally good-natured about this, thank goodness. And I have to laugh every time she does it, because if you were to look back through my childhood photo album, there are several pictures of me with my eyes closed. No, it wasn’t an accident – if I didn’t want to have my picture taken, I simply shut my eyes and smiled. That was when I was 5, however; Cordy seems to be a fast learner with her genetic personality traits.

Cordy has also learned to use this trick when being punished. If we tell her no, she’ll often close her eyes to us, shutting us out of her little world. After we’re quiet for a moment, she’ll open her eyes and go right back to what she was doing.

It’s fun to see her growing and learning new ways to deal with the world around her, although sometimes her methods of coping are getting a little frustrating for us. I can only hope these are short-lived stages, and soon Cordy will progress on to bigger and better ways to ignore and dismiss us.

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Comments

  1. I found the use of the word “No” to be more abundant in the third year! I know you really didn’t want to hear that…

  2. Oh it’s funny how quickly you forget that lovely stage of toddlerhood as soon as it’s gone. I think Nata has just in the last three months stopped saying no to everything, becuase now she talks nonstop all freaking day long.

  3. That was exactly Bub’s reaction to the word “no” – you could see that he was devastated at the realization that he had done something the wrong way.

    And then the Pie came along, and she loves the word “no” – her whole face lights up with glee at the prospect of some mischief; she has never, at any time, had the intention of obeying. I think I’m in for it with this one…

  4. Aw c’mon, it gets more difficult?! I was kind of getting used to the cute, little “nooo”. Now you’re saying they learn how to use it? Shoot.

  5. We are in the no stage too and it cracks me up. I love asking Evan if he wants ice cream, hearing him say no gives me the giggles.

  6. Hmmm… squeezing eyes shut to make people go away… maybe I should try that…

  7. I remember the No stage.

    It was a lot more fun than the current “eye-rolling” stage.

    Or the “I’m smarter than you will ever be” phase, which my husband and I are currently enjoying.

    Maybe if I close my eyes, the kids will magically learn how to behave….

  8. Mine says “A! O! No, Mommy. A! O!” no doubt picked up from my, “N! O! No!” except he stomps his foot, and I KNOW I don’t do that.

  9. My nearly two and a half year old son looks away from strangers (or people he doesn’t want to talk to) when they try to talk with him.

  10. Oh joy… I remember when Sweet Pea used to do the same thing – say “no” when she meant “yes,” just because she liked the word. It was pretty amusing. We cured her of it by honoring her “no” when she meant “yes.” Made her stop and think. Of course, there was still plenty of “NO!” for a while, but now she’s headed toward 3 and a half and she’s done with that stage. It does end! :o) And other things happen…

  11. Caity says No and usually means yes.

    Or she says Noooooo because I totally misunderstood her.

  12. P still isn’t saying “No” but he shakes his head as if to say it. Except he does it whether the answer is yes OR no, thus rendering it somewhat useless as a means of communication. I’m not looking forward to the time when he actually speaks the word and MEANS IT!

    He also does do the crying, mortally wounded routine when I stop him from fulfilling what he believes is his destiny…you know, to put toys in the toilet or get into the dishwasher or destroy videotapes.

    That eye-closing business when Cordy is being punished is hilariously cute! That might call for a video 🙂

  13. My guy had the same reaction to No. Now – not so much. It is only effective if it comes a long with … “and you’ll be grounded from the computer if you don’t listen …” or something like that.

    Cordy is so cute!

  14. This is Dawson, completely. He says “no” a lot and quite delicately as well. Until the last few days when his Uncle Frankie (who is 15 years old) was trying to play with Dawson and his matchbox cars. Dawson let out a shriek. “NooooOOOOOOOOOO” and then screamed so loud he was shaking. It’s ear piercing!

    I am so glad to know that I’m not alone with this!

  15. My Girlie says, “I don’t want to.” Then becasue she thinks it will get her out of doing what I tell her to she says, “I’m going to stand in the corner.” With her big 2 year old attitude. UGH!