A Mommy Story

More proof that Cordy and I watch way too much TV. These are the things that go through my head when watching the following shows. If you watch these shows, too, maybe you can help me out.

Higglytown Heroes – Does anyone else think it is just a little strange that they can pop inside each other? I mean, it’s kind of gross, if you sit and think about it. (And clearly, I do.) And where the hell do their arms go when they rest them at their sides?

Oobi – Is Oobi’s town short on male hands? ‘Cause half of the women in town seem to be chasing Grampu down every chance they get. Also, I wonder if Kako secretly wants to be a woman? Whenever they play dress-up, he’s always the female. In the community center play, he played both Little Red Riding Hood’s mother and grandmother. And he gets very jealous if anyone takes Oobi’s attention away from Kako. The hand has issues, is all I’m saying. (Oh, and I have trouble listening to Kako talk since realizing the voice actor is the same one who voices Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House.)

Backyardigans – I think it’s clear that the cool kids in the neighborhood are Tyrone, Uniqua, and Pablo. They’re in every episode, while Tasha and Austin are only in some episodes. Did Tasha and Austin do something to piss off the others? I mean, Tasha was a little bitchy as the Egyptian princess, and Austin did make everyone run in circles looking for Tiki Beach in the surfer episode. Or maybe Tasha and Austin are the new kids on the block? Or is it that Tasha and Austin’s parents simply don’t let them out to play as much? Maybe they have two working parents who stick them in daycare three days a week?

Blue’s Clues – Why are the dogs, Blue and Magenta and Green Puppy, the only ones who can’t speak? Periwinkle the cat can talk. The mailbox can talk. The side-table drawer can talk. The shovel and pail can talk. Even the salt and pepper shakers can talk! Is this show secretly spreading some anti-dog message that dogs are dumb? Blue finally got to talk a few years ago, but only when she’s in her special room. Is that really fair treatment?

Dora the Explorer – OK, seriously, what is up with the passive-aggressive relationship between Dora and Map? Think about it – when Dora needs help, she asks you to call for Map. Map only responds to you. When Map figures out the shortest way to the destination (with exactly three landmarks along the way), you have to tell Dora, because Map won’t tell her. I feel like I’m caught in a battle of third-graders:

“Well, you tell Sally that I think she stinks!”
“Uh, she’s right here, tell her yourself.”
“No, we’re not talking!”
“Well, you can tell Billy that he has stupid hair!”

When will Dora and Map reconcile and start working together? I’m personally a little tired of being the go-between for them.

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