I’m obsessing.
I said I wouldn’t do it. When we decided to start trying for baby #2 at the beginning of August, we agreed that we’d start with a “whatever happens, happens” approach. Nothing at all like the first time.
You see, if I’m going to do something, I want it done right. Which means I obsess. When Cordy was conceived, I had spent months reading and re-reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, learning all about the signs my body gives to indicate fertility, pregnancy, etc. (By the way, I highly recommend this book!) I changed my eating habits, stopped drinking alcohol, cut down on caffeine, and tried to exercise.
I went off birth control pills three months before attempting to try for a baby. I took prenatal vitamins during those three months, and did daily charting of my basal temperature and cervical fluid as a means of birth control, and to get the hang of charting. Luckily, I am one of those women with a clockwork, 28 day cycle. I ovulate later than most, but make up for it with a shorter luteal phase (the phase between ovulating and your period). I hung out on message boards, first seeking advice on charting and conception, and then as one of the veterans, offering to help people figure out their charts.
By that November, I had my monthly cycle down to a science, and had my body prepped as much as possible for conception. It took two cycles for me to get pregnant. Easy. I did everything by the book, timed our intimate encounters just right, and got pregnant. I won. (Yes, I’m a little competitive, but like others, only with myself.)
This time around, things aren’t quite so structured. I am making every effort to not obsess about this. I’m taking prenatals, but they’re the over-the-counter ones, not prescription yet. I really haven’t changed my eating habits yet, and exercise and I still aren’t on speaking terms yet. The basal thermometer is still stored in the drawer, but my mind keeps drifting back to charting. I mentally keep track of where I am in my cycle in my head. I’ve noted other signs of ovulation.
I’m now currently in that limbo known as the “two-week wait”. I attempt to distract myself, but my mind keeps wandering back to this topic, wondering if the ache and feeling of fullness in my breasts is a sign of pregnancy or just a phantom symptom. I’m now eager to test – eager to get that double line, my trophy. I’m counting down the days until I reach the realm of possibility of getting a positive test. (For those sharing my madness, I might test as early as Saturday.)
This competition with myself is maddening. Baby-making has become a game to me, and I must win it. Am I excited to get pregnant again? Yes, I am, although this time around I’m actually much more nervous about “Are we ready for this?” than I was with the first pregnancy. With Cordy, we were pretty sure we were ready for parenting. We were also blissfully naive of how hard it was going to be. Now we’ve gone though the first two years of parenting, we’ve been in the trenches and been covered in poop more than once, and so the thought of another child has a little more weight to the decision. It’s a little more frightening this time around, remembering how hard it was with only Cordy, and wondering how I will cope with a newborn and a preschooler this time?
But for the moment most of those fears have been pushed to the back of my mind, as I obsess over winning the fertility game.
Ah, yes, the phantom symptoms. Having been through many negative pregnancy tests, I’ve experienced them all, I think. Here’s hoping you’ll see that faint little line Saturday morning… (or, who am I kidding, on Friday – I never made it to my *planned* day to take the test).
Good luck to you – and have fun trying :)I felt like I was in a race too – my girlfriend was trying at the same time and I got pregnant first. I thought for sure she would beat me because i never win anything. The sad thing is is she is still trying…
I never really planned with my children. I was prepared to have to do lots of charting and all because I have never, ever, ever been a regular 28-day girl. With my second child, I took the test too early and got a negative. I was absolutely sure that I was pregnant, so I waited a week and took it again. Bingo!
I hope the symptoms are real!
I wish I was more regular but my cycles are awful. Luckily I haven’t had any trouble getting knocked up. I hope that you finish in first place!
Hi, coming out of lurkville to say yay, I hope to read good news soon. 🙂 As for us, I’m totally with you on the “are we ready for the 2nd one?” question. Some days I say yes and others I say absolutely no way! So far, ovulation and the “yes” days haven’t aligned yet. (prolly a good thing…) anyway, good luck!
Taking Charge Of Your Fertility was my Bible! That book was so helpful, I loved it. Good Luck!
I was a FertilityFriend freak the first time around, too. Now it feels so necessary to be chill about the whole thing, but… not in my nature.
My fingers are crossed for those pink lines for you…
I seriously just had sex every day that month and it worked.
Times two.
I didn’t get a chance to get competitive with myself, but I did take a pregnancy test on THE DAY my period was due.
Congratulations on trying to get pregnant. Have lots and lots of fun sex…
We didnt actually plan for either our children. :)But we do have a plan now. To NOT have anymore.
hubby wants us for some inexplicable reason to try for no 3..but wants to wait till a ‘window’ of time…he is planning when the kids birthday would be.
This is how confident he is in our ease to get knocked up.
And yes..you can’t obsess about it as much when chasing toddlers around, but you KNOW it is floating OUT there and you are always aware of every twinge and so on.
Fingers crossed you guys!
I am sooooo gettting baby fever!! I know that mine is only 9 months, but she’s gonna be a year in 3 months!!!! A year!? If my hubby gets a job with health insurance, we’re trying!!!!!! I should probably run that by him, huh?
I hope you see 2 pink lines soon!!
Christina, I firmly believe we are twins of different mothers. I did the exact same thing when I was trying to get pregnant the first time and I drove my poor husband crazy. I still think he’s mad about that. 😛
But I didn’t conceive as easily. I charted for 6 months and gave up. I didn’t have a regular cycle at all. 28 days, then 34 days, then 40 days. It was a nightmare. So I started the Atkins diet and boom! 3 months later, pregnant. I think it’s because I stopped worrying myself into not ovulating. Doug insists that Dr. Atkins got me pregnant which makes me howl with laughter.
Anyway…I have a feeling you’ll conceive soon! How exciting. Cordy will be a big sister!
I often wonder if having another child would make Dawson jealous or less spoiled.
🙂 Good luck!
ps…thanks for the comment before. I just had to vent at two personal friends who attack me for everything. I had to remove my archives because of them (they are safely hidden).
For our first pregnancy we beat ourselves to it. We were going to start trying a month after we had already conceived. Our second time round was all planned out. I totally get the self competition thing.
Best of luck! Sending good thoughts your way…
Good luck! I think that it is impossible to obsess the second time since you are worrying about your life AND your first child.
BTW, over the counter prenatals are the same as prescription ones.
OMG! You just wrote my life with my first attempt at pregnancy! I, too, was obsessed with my fertile self. I guess it was the competitive streak in me, too, that I was bound and determined to win the fertility game. We finally won in 2001, after 2 miscarriages in 8 months. Then when our after-birth bliss was crushed by 2 am crying fits, we vowed, “Noway, we are never going to have another!” Then, 3 1/2 years later, after some soul-searching after an unexpected pregnancy ended up as another miscarriage, attempt at baby #2 came along with only 1 try about 6 months after the miscarriage (no basal counting thinga-ma-jig with that one).
Good luck! Hope we hear good news soon!
Wow good luck to you and Aaron. It’s great that you guys have decided to start trying again and Cordy will be a good big sister! You guys will do great with another one around, plus it will make for some great blogging!
Ah, you’re like me.
My basal is on my nightstand. It always is… even when I was on HBC. Nice.
Best of luck! WOO!
The only thing easy about my pregnancy (and first four months of Chicky’s life, I know you can relate) was the conception. I don’t know what I would have done if it didn’t work right away. We both had the “if it happens, it happens. if it doesn’t, it doesn’t” mindset but I, like you, are competitive with myself.
Wishing you the best of luck and lots of happy baby-making!
First of all – congratulations and enjoy!
I don’t want to sound like one of those know-it-alls, but please keep taking it easy on yourself. Even if conception comes as easily as it did the first time around (like it was for us), the adjustment to two is huge. As a fellow Type-A, I have let so much go that I never thought I would. That’s not self-criticism – it’s self-preservation!
But from what you’ve written about Aaron, you guys should do fabulously well. I have grown to rely on Kyle so much, and he rises to the occasion without question. Aaron sounds like he is just as dedicated to parenting.
Again, I wish you guys the very best. Keep us posted – looking forward to good news.
I am sorry I cant relate much to what your going through and I wont do the typical cliche speach about…when the time it right, it will happen, dont try so hard, relax, when you dont try so hard it will happen.
I think that you will be fine and a baby is in your near furture!
I was pretty competitive with myself for both of my conceptions. Good luck! I totally understand what you’re going through.
Who knows? You may have already won!
I’m actually hoping it will take me a little while to conceive (but no more than 5 months). I’m still a bit scared about going for #2, but in my gut I know this is the right time.
Good luck trying. Can’t wait to hear the good news–I know it won’t be far off!
I was waiting for my period to start anytime between last monday and saturday(not regular either)and after trying for over a year when my period did not make an appearance on saturday I thought ‘this is it!! What was I so worried for!’, but unfortunitly my body waited until late sunday evening to decide that it was ready to come and make me feel foolish again for believing that i could possibly be pregnant!
It is so hard not to obsess about this as we just have no control over mother nature. Good luck with your trying.
Good luck!! I was a complete Fertility Friend addict a couple of years ago. I loved their boards.
How the heck are you going to wait till saturday???
Ok I’m a dork. I’m playing catch-up. I think you already tested…good luck, none the less!
For some reason, this is the first day I have been able to get your newer posts. Everytime I went to your site, it still had your post from the 4th. I was getting worried about you!
I was psycho about conceiving #1. I charted, meditated, used baby aspirin, mucinex, a fertility monitor, green tea and stopped dieting. After 8 months, we finally conceived. Looking back, it really was not that long of a time.
This one just happened. We had sex twice the whole month of December. I was on birth control and still breastfeeding. I’m pretty sure Dan used a condom for one of our romps. This one planned us.
We’re not sure if a #3 is in our future, but we are doing nothing drastic at this point. If it is, it will be yearS down the road.