A Mommy Story

The discipline in this house just got kicked up a notch. Please follow along as we go through the timeline of a tantrum.

Cordy has entered the phase of the mega-tantrum over the last few weeks. As I write this, she is currently in her chair, screaming at the top of her lungs, with short pauses to cough, catch her breath, and open her eyes just enough to peek and see if I’m paying attention. We’re on minute 17 currently, with no signs of slowing. I’d categorize this a Class 4 Tantrum – screams over 110 decibels, with dangerous objects flying through the air. Seek shelter at once.

What led to this breakdown of social grace? I turned off the TV. That led to kicking and smacking me, and I told her no and gave her a time out in her crib. After that 2 minute time out, I got her dressed for the day, which resulted in more kicking and throwing of items. The final straw was having a heavy metal dump truck thrown at my head. Now, I don’t know about you, but nearly having a large metal toy clock me in the head qualifies as a serious red flag penalty in my rule book.

I picked her up once again, and this time designated a time out chair, where she is currently still screaming. (We’re on minute 21 now, if you’re keeping track.) After the requisite 2 minutes, I went back to her and told her she could get up, and reminded her that we don’t throw or hit or kick. But she chose to stay there and scream. OK, have it your way, kid.

The battle of wills is clear here, and knowing that this is just the beginning is a tiring thought. Luckily, I can withstand high pitched screams and I can deal with her thinking I’m a horrible mommy for these punishments. I know I’m not hurting her, and I know she needs to learn what is socially acceptable and what is not. But it does get tiring to hear the screaming continue for 28 minutes, which is what we’re up to right now. (I just offered her a sippy of milk or a banana, which she dramatically refused. Silly child – she needs to learn a little more forethought in picking which cause she chooses to hunger strike for.)

I also learned today that it may be time for the toddler bed. When I came in to get her from her crib during the first 2 minute time out, she had thrown everything out of her crib, and had one leg hooked over the side, trying to figure out how to shift her weight up and over the crib rail. We’re very close to a fall from the crib.

It’s now 36 minutes in, and she has returned to the crib after flinging a book at me. She will no longer sit in her chair, and the crib is the only other place to keep her semi-confined and out of pitching distance. Do other parents go through tantrums this long, or does my daughter just have unusual endurance for this type of activity?

I know I could stop all of this just by turning on the TV and putting one of her favorite shows on, but I feel like I’d be caving in if I did that. I don’t want her to think she can act this way and get what she wants. In fact, that’s the opposite of what I want her to learn. I don’t want her to scream and cry in Macy’s when she’s 21 because she can’t afford the Ralph Lauren dress she wants, or throw her water glass at a waiter if informs her they’re out of lobster bisque. Enduring this now pays off in the long term.

50 minutes, and the tantrum is over. Finally. Cordy calmed down in the crib, and is now sitting with me eating her snack and smiling, even if her face is a little puffy. I still can’t get her to say the word “sorry”, but I guess that will come with time.

The storm has passed, and we didn’t even need help from FEMA. Now if you’ll excuse me, my head is calling for some Advil.