The discipline in this house just got kicked up a notch. Please follow along as we go through the timeline of a tantrum.
Cordy has entered the phase of the mega-tantrum over the last few weeks. As I write this, she is currently in her chair, screaming at the top of her lungs, with short pauses to cough, catch her breath, and open her eyes just enough to peek and see if I’m paying attention. We’re on minute 17 currently, with no signs of slowing. I’d categorize this a Class 4 Tantrum – screams over 110 decibels, with dangerous objects flying through the air. Seek shelter at once.
What led to this breakdown of social grace? I turned off the TV. That led to kicking and smacking me, and I told her no and gave her a time out in her crib. After that 2 minute time out, I got her dressed for the day, which resulted in more kicking and throwing of items. The final straw was having a heavy metal dump truck thrown at my head. Now, I don’t know about you, but nearly having a large metal toy clock me in the head qualifies as a serious red flag penalty in my rule book.
I picked her up once again, and this time designated a time out chair, where she is currently still screaming. (We’re on minute 21 now, if you’re keeping track.) After the requisite 2 minutes, I went back to her and told her she could get up, and reminded her that we don’t throw or hit or kick. But she chose to stay there and scream. OK, have it your way, kid.
The battle of wills is clear here, and knowing that this is just the beginning is a tiring thought. Luckily, I can withstand high pitched screams and I can deal with her thinking I’m a horrible mommy for these punishments. I know I’m not hurting her, and I know she needs to learn what is socially acceptable and what is not. But it does get tiring to hear the screaming continue for 28 minutes, which is what we’re up to right now. (I just offered her a sippy of milk or a banana, which she dramatically refused. Silly child – she needs to learn a little more forethought in picking which cause she chooses to hunger strike for.)
I also learned today that it may be time for the toddler bed. When I came in to get her from her crib during the first 2 minute time out, she had thrown everything out of her crib, and had one leg hooked over the side, trying to figure out how to shift her weight up and over the crib rail. We’re very close to a fall from the crib.
It’s now 36 minutes in, and she has returned to the crib after flinging a book at me. She will no longer sit in her chair, and the crib is the only other place to keep her semi-confined and out of pitching distance. Do other parents go through tantrums this long, or does my daughter just have unusual endurance for this type of activity?
I know I could stop all of this just by turning on the TV and putting one of her favorite shows on, but I feel like I’d be caving in if I did that. I don’t want her to think she can act this way and get what she wants. In fact, that’s the opposite of what I want her to learn. I don’t want her to scream and cry in Macy’s when she’s 21 because she can’t afford the Ralph Lauren dress she wants, or throw her water glass at a waiter if informs her they’re out of lobster bisque. Enduring this now pays off in the long term.
50 minutes, and the tantrum is over. Finally. Cordy calmed down in the crib, and is now sitting with me eating her snack and smiling, even if her face is a little puffy. I still can’t get her to say the word “sorry”, but I guess that will come with time.
The storm has passed, and we didn’t even need help from FEMA. Now if you’ll excuse me, my head is calling for some Advil.
Has there been a Hurricane Cordelia yet?
I like that “Category 4” – haha.
Dude. For real. Leg over the side is how I should have known with Q. Later than evening she climbed or FELL out.
I say get the tot bed now.
(sorry for the sort of unsolicited advice)
Yes, indeed the tantrums in this house last as long, sometimes longer. And, yes throwing toys is a serious red flag event. We had a tantrum here yesterday after girlie threw food across the kitchen. She climbed out of her crib twice when I put her in for a time out, and closed the door. She screamed at me “no close door.” She is very dramatic and determined. Time for the toddler bed.
With Paul we ended up making sure his room had nothing really breakable and we’ve had to send him into exile before. The result is usually that every book, toy, stuffed animal and item from the closet ends up tossed on the floor, but that’s a minor problem.
Now that he’s a little older we wait until a while after the tantrum, sometimes the next day, and have him help us clean up.
It makes the dogs happy too. A room full of blankets, sheets, pillows and stuffed animals on the floor? MASSIVE DOG BED!
I do not deal well with the high pitch sonic assault. Yelling I can take. Screaming hits my buttons. I’ve learned to deal with it, but sometimes I seriously consider putting a punching bag in the garage.
Ask me in another six months. I expect CJ will be throwing similar tantrums. Much more stubborn than her big sis.
Cordy is a doll. Those curls and that grin.
Aw, Cordy! YOu did a great job, Christina!
Yay for you not turning the tv on! I know it’s hard, but it’s so worth it. And yes, tantrums that last that long ar normal. I know my kiddo is only 9 months, but I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews who have thrown some record-breaking fits.
OH, I’m so sorry that the tantrums have started.
Vicodin? Tranquilizer? Stun gun? For you, not the baby. 🙂
Claudia’s can last for about 45 minutes.
Well – maybe I can last 45 minutes.
Sometimes I think boys are easier.
Way to be persistent. I don’t have the patience to wait out a 50 minute tantrum so it turns into a 12 hour battle. Makes sense, right? LOL
I watched a special on the Discovery channel while at my parents house. It talked about tantrums, and tazmanian devils. LOL. It said that toddlers understand way more than they can communicate, so they get frustrated and have tantrums. They don’t know how to express themselves. Tazmanian devils start fighting with each other the minuted they’re born and after two months, they all turn on the mother and start fighting her. That’s when she gets up and leaves them, then they’re on their own! Sorry, you can’t leave her…you have to stay and block those heavy metal trucks that come flying at your head!!!
I have been having the same trouble with Girlie Girlie (she’s 14 months) and her biggest thing is she wants to climb the stairs. I know I know we could fix this problem by just buying a baby gate but alas hubby and I haven’t gotten out to do that.
So after at least 1/2 dozen times of removing her laughing little body from the stairs. I told her if she was to go there again she would be confined to her play pen. With a little giggle off she went towards the stairs and into the playpen she went.
For a 1/2 hour she cried tears streaming down her face but like you I didn’t want to relent until the crying had stopped since I don’t want her thinking crying will get her own way.
Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.
Can I skip that phase?
Aveline has just begun flirting with tantrums. I just know they will begin with full force right when The Deuce is born. Joy.
Right now, the hardest thing for me is determining exactly why she is throwing the fit. Once that is established, I know what not to do.
We are just learning no here as well. That’s going over like a mole in clay.
BTW–Lots of fun last night! I will have to make sure I get on your end of the table next time.
I am not looking forward to that phase with my daughter.
Maybe we can just skip that part by hiring a robot or something
You so did the right thing. But you know that!
Maybe you should have saved the “And People Wonder Why I Drink” title for this one.
Can I just say you are amazing … I used to end up in tears right along with my guy during category 4s.
But I’m with Sue Bob … the drinking title would have fit this one perrrrfectly 🙂
Category 4 – lolololmfao!
I so see these days coming for me…
I go through Hurricane Dawson every day at least. He is not quite 2 yet, but he has these tantrums where he flings himself on the floor and than does this yelling thing. Kind of like “AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH” over and over again. It’s almost as if he’s demanding and commanding me to obey him. I put him in his crib and THEN it turns into a rage. I don’t know what to do sometimes, usually I’ll go outside for a few minutes so that I don’t throw myself out the window. We’re really in for the TT’s aren’t we?
Yeah, your storm front is moving my way. The Boo is a terror these last few days and I am about ready to pull my hair out of my head. Hitting. Where did she get the hitting from? I don’t hit her. I certainly don’t throw things at her, so why, exactly, does she feel she can hit and throw things at me? Alas, all I get for an answer is “Wickiwickiwicki Mama.” *sigh*
will has been having tantrums since he was 10 months old, not at all that severe, just the slam your head into the hard wood floor variety, but i actually caught him lowering himself to the floor gently to tantrum earlier today, when i caught him he smiled and got all silly, like oh…you saw that?
Gulp. Is it too late for me to order up a baby that won’t eventually grow into a tantrumriffic toddler?
Aw, I’m with you! Mine just jumped into the bright red faced, fists-pumping stage.
Even so, forgive me for laughing (and for cooing over that beautiful photo!)
I feel for you. I have 3 kids, my first never threw a tantrum, guess I was really lucky. My second who is going to be 3 in a month is AWFUL. I actually think he is the devil reincarnated. He has been kicked out of daycare for “biting”, never made contact but attempted too many times. Now he makes contact with me and his older brother. If I tell him NO, he throws toys at me or whatever is next to him. Once in a while we will be laying there watching a movie and he will turn and just smack me in the face, no reason. I have no idea what to do since my oldest never did this and at first I was so surprised, I did whatever it took to make him happy. I now realize that was the worst thing I could have done. I have tried timeout, putting down for nap, taking toys away, returning the “favor” to show him it hurts. My son like yours, when being nice is so nice its easy to forgot what a MONSTER he can be. I too am hoping this doesn’t last very long but we are going on 7 months now and after speaking with the pediatrician about his behavior, the only thing she told me was be consistent, try to redirect his aggression and 3’s are worst. Time to buy a larger bottle of Tylenol.