A Mommy Story

Seriously, how did the human race survive before the invention of cell phones? It astounds me how many people have one permanently affixed to their ears nowadays.

Earlier this week, I was waiting in line at a drive thru, and when the person ahead of me pulled up to place her order, she actually told the person working at McDonald’s to hold on, while she finished telling whoever was on the other end of the phone about the guy she met last night. I know this because she was talking so loud I couldn’t help but hear her conversation. She finally placed her order, but even when paying and picking up her food, the cell phone never left her ear.

I’ve even had students in my office take phone calls during an advising session. Most tell the other person they’ll call them back, but some don’t care that they’re sitting in my office, and carry on five minute or longer conversations. The worst person I met got calls three times during our 45 min. meeting, and talked to each one of them.

When I was flying to and from BlogHer, I was amazed that now they announce, at the exact moment the plane touches down, that you’re now allowed to turn on and use your cell phones. It’s been 10 years since I flew, and in 1996 people weren’t going through cell phone withdrawal on a two hour flight. Or an eight hour flight, for that matter. But now, as soon as the message is given, the sounds of cell phones powering up is heard, and seconds later half of the people are chatting away with someone not on the plane. (Aside from the idiots in front of me, on the way back to Columbus, who took the time to call their friends who were sitting 10 rows ahead of them to ask about dinner plans.)

I won’t even begin to talk about the people who answer their cell phones and talk while using the facilities in a public restroom. Or the fact that kids as young as six are now carrying the damn things around like some elementary school status symbol.

What conversations are so important that they can be conducted while meeting with someone or while in the bathroom? Personally, were I on the other end of the line and heard the distinctive sound of tinkling, I would ask if I could call them back.

Cell phones are also completely erasing any notice of the world around you. I see so many people in public places yaking away on their phones, oblivious to anything around them. There are people who nearly get hit by cars crossing the street because they’re not paying attention. And what happened to talking to other people around you? Cell phones erase the need to ever make small talk, or get to know the people you’re waiting in line with, or to speak with any stranger ever.

Forget the internet – I think cell phones are causing us to become more isolated than ever. The phone is programmed with the numbers of our friends and family, ready to talk to at a moment’s notice. The phone makes it possible to never be apart from those you are closest to, because cell phones are allowed nearly everywhere you go. At least on the internet we can meet new people.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I love my cell phone. It is a convenience that I enjoy having. I like being able to change plans on the fly and let everyone know, or let Aaron know when I will be late getting home, or ask if I should pick up dinner on the way. But I think that many people use their phones way too much, and in owning a cell phone, they have completely forgotten all rules of etiquette. I simply can’t understand why someone would want to be constantly talking to their friends day and night. Wouldn’t you run out of things to say? Don’t you ever get tired of talking and just want to listen to the radio or enjoy some silence?

And I can’t see giving Cordy a cell phone anytime soon. And if we were to give her one before she’s a teen, it would be one of those Firefly phones that would only let her call the people we’ve programmed in, and it would have a very limited number of minutes. She doesn’t need a phone to stay in touch with her friends 24/7.

The truth is, we did manage to survive before the invention of the cell phone. As a kid, I spent many summer afternoons running all over the neighborhood. I didn’t have a cell phone, and yet my mom still managed to know where I was. How? I checked in with her, either by stopping back by the house, or calling her from a friend’s house. If I was really desperate, I usually had a quarter and could use a pay phone to call her. If I needed to come home early from the public pool, I would either call my mom on the pay phone, walk home, or suck it up and wait for her to come get me at the arranged time. And instead of talking to my friends on the phone all day, I’d go over and spend time with them. My relationships with my mom and my friends did not suffer due to a lack of a cell phone.

One more thing: those new Bluetooth wireless headsets? Not only are they annoying (if you’re on the other side, you’d think the person was talking to you or just insane), but they’re ugly, too. Looking at the piece of plastic and metal sticking out of someone’s ear makes me want to go up to these cyborgs and say, “Are you Borg? Have you been assimilated?” You don’t look cool – you look dumb, and if I don’t see the headset, I often wonder if you’ve escaped the mental hospital as you talk to yourself.

If you’re a cell phone addict, I give you this challenge: during one of the times you’re on the phone just because it’s something to do to keep you from being bored, or having to acknowledge the people around you, don’t use it. Yes, turn it off and keep it stored away. Just once, enjoy the silence, or listen to your radio in the car, or say hi to someone around you as you wait for the bus. Take the time to notice the world around you. Your friends and family will still be accessible half an hour later.