A Mommy Story

Do you believe in astrology? I’ve always been a half-hearted believer. When I was younger I’d take the time to read my daily horoscope in the newspaper, just to see if I was supposed to have a good or bad day. Usually at the end of the day I’d think back and laugh at how nothing it predicted came true. Either that or how vague some horoscopes were to make them always true. You will have an eye opening experience today. I did wake up, so I guess that counts as eye-opening, eh?

My horoscope was always difficult to figure out, too. I was born on the summer solstice, which also happens to be the cusp between two signs: Gemini and Cancer. (Interestingly, Cordy was also born on a cusp.) Now, if you know anything about those two signs, you’d know they were as different as, well, air and water. The Gemini profile is a party girl, outgoing and sharp-witted, always up for late night drinks and socializing. Cancer, on the other hand, is a shy, introverted homebody who would rather be alone with a good book than anywhere near a party.

So what does that make me? An extrovert who likes to stay home? An introvert who really wishes she could get out more?

I’ve started to realize that maybe there is something to this astrology. No, no, I’m not rushing out to buy incense and a copy of my star chart. But I do have this strange dual-personality that often tears me in two directions. I am a homebody, and I do tend to be shy at first. But I also look at those outgoing, don’t-have-a-care-in-the-world people and wish I could be like them. And once I get warmed up at a party, well, I can really talk your ear off.

I somehow got the courage up to join a sorority in college. And in that sorority, I was deemed one of the quiet ones. I politely declined the annual pilgrimage to Mardi Gras, I was always one of the first to leave a party, and frat parties – oh, frat parties – well, let’s just say I was a bundle of nerves when dragged to those.

But yet, when it came time for Sorority Rush, when hundreds of new freshman were making the rounds to hopefully be picked to join a sorority, I was the one my sisters pushed to the front when it came time to greet each group of girls that came to the sorority suite. Why? Because in those painfully small 15 minute meetings, I could somehow find common ground with every single girl, and by the end of that 15 minutes, we were all chatting away like old friends. (Note: Normally, these sessions are downright dreadful, and can often result in a cluster of girls staring at each other with nothing to say.)

To be honest, I have no clue how I did it. I guess being put in an awkward situation, forced to converse with a group of strangers who were judging you as much as you were judging them somehow brought out my inner extrovert. It’s as if I was backed into a corner by hungry lions, and somehow miraculously developed the ability to be a liontamer. And after each session, I was exhausted from my brief time as The Girl Everyone Could Talk To.

So I guess I am a mix of Gemini and Cancer. I’m terrified of meeting all these fabulous women at Blogher, and then finding out they’re all so much cooler than me and hiding in my hotel room the remainder of the conference. (After all, I’m practically a midwestern farm girl compared to all these glamorous East and West coast bloggers!) But at the same time I’m so excited at the chance to meet them, that I will certainly screw up the courage to talk to everyone. I can only hope that if I am a bore, someone will please shut me up, especially if I’ve already consumed alcohol. Because with a drink in me, I can talk for hours.