When you sit in the first meeting of your Chemistry lab class, and write a blog entry longhand…you might be a blogging addict. Or just really bored. Or both.
The following post was written out on notebook paper as I endured the first evening of my Chemistry class two weeks ago.
He’s the instructor you dread. CHEM 100, basic Chemistry. Remedial chemistry, honestly. You try not to think of the stereotypes, but you can’t avoid it. He’s short, rounded, and balding. Large glasses, oversized t-shirt, loose jeans, tennis shoes, and a high nasal voice. Worst of all: an unbridled love for chemistry, and he expects you to be just as in-love with it also.
“Don’t think you’ll be getting out of a lab early. We’ll be here the full 4 hours each time.” Oh God. You must be trying to torture me, small man. He practically bounces with joy as he opens the glassware cabinet and explains 250 mL beakers, Erlenmeyer flasks and graduated cylinders.
I had expected to get out of class early tonight. It was the first class, first lab, and the only thing listed on the syllabus was an orientation and a safety talk. I figured we’d be here an hour, maybe an hour and a half tops. Cordy was left with her grandpa, and I promised him I’d be back to pick her up before bedtime. Oh how wrong I was.
The IOD (Instructor of Doom) took 2 hours just to show us each item we’ll be using in the lab. I really didn’t need a ten minute explanation of the purpose of a medicine dropper, or 25 min. on the basics of the metric system. My mind was already wandering before he got to discussing the Bunsen burners. (And for the record, if you’ve lost me when showing off fire, you’re really dull.)
I completed the safety quiz while he talked, even though we were supposed to answer it after viewing the safety video. “State one rule about Bunsen burner use.” Uh, don’t set you lab partner on fire? “State one rule about appropriate dress for the laboratory.” Oh, I know this one: no mini-skirts – they’ll make geeky instructors sweat and steam up their goggles. “When should you mix chemicals?” When they involve soda and rum?
After I finished the safety quiz, I started working on next week’s lab, and after that I took out my notebook and started this blog entry. Yes, officially, I am blogging in Chemistry class. Would that qualify as an answer for, “You know you’re a crazy blogger if…”?
After the 2hr. object demo, we then had to go through the rules of the lab in slow, painful detail. Just when we thought we might be nearing the end, we were subjected to a circa 1989 high school safety film for chemistry lab. Oh, if only I could have snapped a picture to show you the big hair the kids in the film were sporting! I think the girls’ hairspray consumption was far more dangerous around a Bunsen burner than anything I could possibly do.
I’m not a horrible student, I swear. I wish I could be interested in what he’s saying, but it’s so basic it’s boring me to tears. Remember my post about being bored in elementary school? This is worse. Thanks to the wonders of college bureaucracy, I must take this class before I can take the Organic Chemistry class I really need for my nursing program. I’ve been out of school for more than 5 years, which at this college requires an automatic placement into CHEM 100, despite my pleas that I know this subject well and don’t need this class. There is supposedly a placement test, but I have yet to get a return call or e-mail from anyone who knows about it.
So, I’m forced into this class, and I’m bringing you all along for the ride. Besides, finding the humor to pass along to you just might keep me sane.
See? Offline blogging, driven by pure boredom. I feel bad for my fellow students, who had nothing else to fall back on when sitting through that nightmare. I had my second class last night, and we completed two lab experiments. I fully expected that this would be a one-time offline blogging experience, but after class #2, I now have another hand-written post for you at some point.
I feel your pain.
Look on the bright side–you’ll get so much blogging done. Can you bring a laptop to class?
DEADLY! And here I was thinking I might like to go back to school in a few years. You’ve just reminded me why I hightailed it out of school so damn fast in the first place.
Ha. If you’ve lost me with fire… That’s hilarious.
I wrote half of my music therapy textbooks in a boring Grad Speech Class. She would send out the notes and then we’d sit in class and listen to her read them to us for 3 freaking hours.
hehe I read aloud the beginning of your post to my soon to be professor of chemistry husband…..he moaned and exclaimed “Always picking on the chemistry professors!”
I see his point since he breaks the mold, being 6’4 tall dark and handsome … hehehe!
I know you can make it through this first hurdle!
Lest you blog in biochem…lol, I almost failed…2 times….that means…I might of failed at least once. lmao..I would so have loved to have been blogging back then….
metro mama – I wish I could bring a laptop, but I can’t. This is just a lab session – the lecture portion of the class is online.
POW – Oh, don’t let this stop you from going back to school! I’ve had some great professors. This guy just happens to be awful.
MU – Heh, wait til you see the next post – I actually got work done on the outline for a book in class #2.
Chelle – I somehow missed that J was in chemistry! Believe me, I wouldn’t pick on the guy if he didn’t deserve to be picked on. Besides, chemistry can be interested if taught well – this guy is giving other chem teachers a bad name.
Organic. I hated Organic. And I love Chemistry. Even lab was okay. But Organic sucks rocks. I wish you the best when you get there.
And dude – I remember playing “the box game” with a friend during Chemistry recitation. I think a blog entry is infinitely more productive than that.
I am so sorry you had a boring class. Ugh. I’d have been tapping my fingers on my desk. I’d never have known you wrote that during the class. Sometimes, I write blog thoughts on candy wrappers when I don’t have paper handy. My husband thinks I’m crazy with a capital C. =)
Since I will be starting school in August, I’m sure I will have many entries similar to this one! Maybe we can compare horror stories from college!
…an unbridled love for chemistry,
lololol…I totally KNOW that guy. I think he taught ME chemistry, too.
Gah. Chem 100. *rubs your head* Please don’t die of boredem. Keep offline blogging.
You know, they used to call that journaling. 😉
I loved Chemistry. Then again, I had a great instructor. That can make all the difference.I might not have enjoyed it as much if I hada teacher like you describe…painful!! I am so sorry!
Maybe you could wear a mini skirt to class and then light a fellow student on fire during your next lab.. that would certainly liven things up! Heh heh…
yWOw. Having to take chemistry=right up there on my list of Top 10 Worst Nightmares. Especially with Mr. Periodic Table. Good luck to you!!
Who has an unbridaled love of Chem 100? Its going to be a long semester!
In junior high it was love notes. In 2006 it is blogging in class. Looking forward to more stories of your cartoon charateresque instructor.
I doodle blog entries during boring meetings. I am so with you!