A Mommy Story

Going to BlogHer this weekend means leaving my precious daughter behind for a few days, but I’m realizing there is a golden lining to this: it will be the first time I’ll be walking around this week NOT covered in baby snot.

Cordy has a cold right now. That means snot pouring out of her nose, which she always wants to graciously share with me.

What is it about kids and snot?

You could have the most anti-social child, who doesn’t even like to be touched and never hugs, but once you put on your good clothes to go to work? Suddenly that child turns into a loving, hugging snot monster who wants nothing more than to bury her mucus covered face into your freshly pressed white blouse. Oh, and rub her head back and forth on the blouse, too, to provide maximum coverage of the slime trail. People will think a slug crawled across you in your sleep. But she’s being affectionate, so how can you push your sticky, germ-ridden child away?

Even if you’re not wearing good clothes, you could have just stepped out of the shower, and this sick child will take time away from her coloring and TV watching to come over, grab your bare arm and wipe her nose on it. (And then go right back to watching TV and coloring, of course.)

And baby snot doesn’t come out without a full washing. Which means you’re left scurrying for another shirt and using baby wipes to clean off your arm. But the child will be sure to at least tag your pants before you get out the door. You know, a little something to remember her by. Is the beginning of marking her territory?

She doesn’t work alone, however. If you should have a cat or dog, you can bet that the child is working in conjunction with the pet. Pet hair is magnetically attracted to work clothes, and when combined with baby snot forms a glue-like substance that even Goo-Gone struggles with. As the child wipes her snot on you, she sends a signal to the pet to quickly come jump on you as well. Now you’re leaving the house covered in snot and pet hair.

Maybe it’s easier to keep all of the good clothes in the car and change when at work? Nah, then she’s just figure out some way to sneeze on my hair.

PS – Izzy asked to interview me for BlogMe and I couldn’t say no to a second interview. Click over to Izzy’s and check it out!

PPS – Last time I’m going to say anything about my hair, I promise. I feel better about it now, because I followed an old rule I remembered about hair: if the cut is bad, dye the hell out of it. Now I like it more.