A Mommy Story

(Anyone remember Mime Time on Animaniacs? This title made me think of it.)

I was tagged by Mommy off the Record a few days back to list 15 things I hate. At first I thought this would be a breeze, and then I realized that hate really is a strong word, and it’s tough for me to assign hate to 15 things. Still, I did it. My list:

15 Things I Hate:

1. People who think that stay at home moms do nothing all day long. (I’m not even a SAHM, but I know there’s no way they do nothing all day!)

2. Those who think they clearly have to be somewhere faster than you, and cut you off in traffic without so much as a turn signal.

3. Writing a long e-mail to someone, only to have the electricity blip and erase everything I had written.

4. Waking up in the morning 5 minutes before the alarm goes off – not enough time to go back to sleep, but you still miss those 5 minutes.

5. Changing my daughter’s diaper because it had been on for awhile, and then not 10 minutes later smelling the tell-tale scent of a poopy diaper.

6. Animal and child abusers – I’m convinced there is an extra special nasty place in hell for these people.

7. Having to go to the bathroom really, really bad, sitting down, and then realizing there is no toilet paper.

8. Men (especially mechanics, car salesmen, and computer repair guys) who treat me like a child just because I’m female. Sorry guys, I understand financing, basic mechanics, and I can work on computers.

9. Mail that looks very important, with phrases like “Regarding your account” or “Your payment is due” written on them, which turn out to be nothing more than junk mail solicitations for credit cards or loans.

10. Being invited to a gathering by a friend, where I know no one else there except the friend, and then being abandoned by said friend at the gathering.

11. Being yelled at by someone who isn’t angry with me, but rather redirecting their anger to me.

12. People who are negative all the freakin’ time. Isn’t there any sunshine in your pathetic world? Come on, be thankful for something!

13. Street corner evangelists who yell that I’m going to hell, and then tell me I need to repent. Uh, buddy? You know nothing about me. And yelling insults at me is no way to make me see your point of view.

14. Cat vomit in the middle of the night. Or anytime, really. Even worse when I don’t see it and step in it. Ugh.

15. The inevitable traffic jam that happens the one time you’re running late.

Seeing how this meme has already been around the internet a few times, I’ll simply say that if you’d like to do this one, consider yourself tagged.

16. Mommies who take extreme close-ups of their children. Got it, lady?