A Mommy Story

I don’t mind the occasionally delay or slightly off customer service. But truly bad customer service really gets on my nerves. And today I got to delve into the dark, dusty, evil world of portrait studios. More specifically: JC Penney portrait studio.

In the past, we’ve taken Cordy to Sears for pictures. We had fancy pictures done once, and were quite happy with them, but unwilling to pay over a hundred dollars again for pictures. So Sears it is. They’re generally inexpensive, and the one near us usually has excellent photographers who are patient and creative with our stubborn child. Plus, in the past few years they’ve made some enormous improvements to their backgrounds and props. No longer are you limited to the light blue with wispy clouds or the mottled brown background. Now they use plain white gauze, solid black, and props that weren’t first used in the 70’s. (Although now they could be considered vintage, I guess.)

But Sears has been stingy with the coupons lately, and JC Penney had a good coupon, so we tried them today. Free 8×10, free sitting fee, and $3.99 portrait sheets. Bingo!

We arrived there at 11:45 and decided to make an appt. for 1:30. They advised that those with appts. go first if there’s a crowd, so we thought it best to eat lunch, then come back. I had an interview at 12:30, and hoped to be back with Aaron and Cordy by 1:30. We had other plans for the day as well, so we figured it would be a quick session, a few cute pics, and then be on our way.

I left after lunch, and Aaron ran Cordy in the mall play area for awhile. I called when my interview was over (about 1:45), and he said they were still waiting. It seems having an appointment doesn’t guarantee quick service. He was trying to keep her entertained, or well, at least trying to keep her contained in the waiting area.

When I arrived a little after 2pm, they had just gone into the photography room. I peeked in to see the photographer sitting on the floor with her camera, and Aaron trying to convince Cordelia to sit down. Apparently JC Penney can’t handle taking pictures of toddlers who stand up. However, the photographer was also lacking in creativity – you know, the one trait a good photographer should possess. Because not only did she want Cordy to sit down, she wanted her to sit on a small red spot on the floor! If Cordy wasn’t in the general area of the magic red spot, she would not even attempt a picture.

The problem with this is that mommy was on one side, daddy on the other, and the red spot was on neither side. She would run back and forth between Aaron and I in her version of a hugging game. If we tried to get her to sit on the spot, she jumped up right away and ran to one of us. There were several times she was standing still in the vicinity of the damn spot, but the photographer said Cordy needed to be sitting down.

(Side note: I should have known Cordelia was smarter than this photographer and just wanted out of there. She banged her forehead on the floor twice while we tried to convince her to accept the spot, causing two large red bumps on her forehead. It’s like she knew this was a failed attempt before we started and was trying to save us what was to come.)

Our so-called photographer had no ideas to help with the situation. Finally, I got up and grabbed some props to attempt to lure Cordy to sit down and examine them. It worked for a few snaps of the camera. I kept waiting for the photographer to suggest something new, now that we had a few shots of her sitting, but nothing came from her. No background switches. No different poses. Just, “Can you sit on the red spot, please?”

At the end, Aaron and I moved in closer and held her in place for a few pictures. It was the only way for it to work, and after all, we didn’t have any family pictures.

Afterwards, I expected to view our pictures, like we do at Sears. Instead, we were told “Come back in about a half hour to view them.” Aaron and I looked at our watches, then each other, sighed, and walked away to wait. It was now 2:15 (yeah, 15 minutes of pure hell in the studio room that felt like hours), so we walked around the mall, waiting.

At 2:45 we were back, and they told us the pictures weren’t finished uploading. We were asked to wait, saying it would be a few minutes. Around 3:00, I was getting impatient, and Cordy was nearing a meltdown, as it was now past naptime. I listened to the women working the portrait studio chat about what Lean Cuisine meals they brought for lunch. I gave a sympathetic glance to the woman with two children who had arrived for pictures.

We finally got to view them. Turns out that we spent so much time waiting because they had to create a ton of different “enhancement” options for us to ignore. And we didn’t get to see the plain pictures first, either. We had to look at each enhancement, listen to the so-called photographer rave about how lovely it was, then click to the next one. I was holding Cordy at this point, because she was too tired to stand anymore. The woman asked if I wanted to be able to view the photos online, and I said sure.

I showed my coupon, and placed my order of normal pictures (one was sepia toned, but that was just to hide the red lumps on Cordy’s forehead). She then took her time ringing up the order. At this point Cordy was waving frantically at her, saying “Bye-BYE! SEE-ya!” Clearly Cordy’s limits had been reached, and mine were close.

When I saw the total, I asked for an explanation. “Oh, well, your one 8×10 was free, and her sitting fee was free. You and your husband were each $9.99 for your sitting fees.”

My jaw fell open. “Wait, what? We were only in two pictures at the end, just to help keep her under control!”

“It says right here in the small print, that only the first person’s sitting fee is free.”

“But we weren’t planning to be in the pictures!”

“But you were.” She continued: “Also, the Smiles by Wire service is $4.99.”

“It costs $4.99 to view my photos online?” (Note: At Sears, this is a free service and it take 1-2 days to show up online.)

“Yes, I thought you knew that. Anyway, they’ll be available online in 7-10 days. If you don’t want the service, we’ll need to go back to the computer in the back and change your order.”

At that point, I just wanted out, so I paid and left. The woman asked me “What time would you like to pick your pictures up?” I replied that morning would be best. She then said, “No, I mean between 3 and 7pm.” Oh, sorry lady, I lack the ability to read your mind.

I should also point out at this point that the price of my photographs (not counting the one “enhancement”, which of course cost $14.99) was SMALLER than the price of the sitting fee.

The poor woman who showed up at 2:45 was still waiting with her two kids when we left. I imagine she was probably going to keep waiting, as one of the two (yes, only two!) women working the portrait studio decided it was time for her lunch break. I hope her Lean Cuisine tasted like cardboard.

Our pictures will be ready June 29, and they’d better sparkle with diamond dust for what I paid for them. Oh, and I’m so totally copying the pictures off the internet when I get my e-mail confirmation. You bet I’m getting my $4.99 worth.

My advice for the day: stay far, far away from the JC Penney Portrait Studio, or at least the Eastland Mall location in Columbus, OH. That is, unless you like spending ALL AFTERNOON there, attempting to keep your child entertained just so you can get uncreative, uninspiring pictures.