A Mommy Story

I was raised by a divorced mom, with little involvement from my father. I saw him at major holidays – Christmas, Easter, birthday, etc. – but other than that he chose not to use his option for every other weekend visitation.

So when I was pregnant with Cordy I was a little nervous about how Aaron and I would parent her. I had been raised entirely by women, and I had never had a positive father-figure in my life. I didn’t know what to expect from Aaron, and I actually worried that I might not let him have a hand in the daily care of our child. I had a wonderful role model in my mother, and I was prepared to do anything for my child, just like she did for me.

Luckily, Aaron also had a strong role model in his father. His parents had separated when he was young, and then his mom moved away to Arizona. His father was left with the tremendous task of raising his two boys on his own. Aaron tells lovely tales of the three of them hanging out together, and how he could turn to his dad for anything. So Aaron had some examples of being a good father.

Today, I can say that I wouldn’t be able to do it without Aaron. He is a great daddy to Cordy. Being the early bird, he gets up with Cordy in the morning, they have breakfast together and they share a little daddy-daughter time together. In the evening, he is usually the one putting her to bed, giving her milk before bedtime, and then recounting her day in a soft voice as he carries her up to her crib. It’s a very relaxing routine for her.

When Cordy was born, Aaron was very adamant about being an involved father. Overnight feedings were handled by both of us – he would change her diaper and I would feed her. Of course, that was before we realized we were being stupid by having both of us get up with her instead of taking turns. During the day, he would carry her around in the sling, despite the strange looks from others. Real men wear slings, baby.

Aaron does have a busy schedule, which limits his time with Cordy, but that doesn’t mean he likes to be away from her. When we had to decide which of us was going to quit our full-time job and go to part-time to spend more time with Cordy, I thought we might come to blows over it. But Aaron saw how much I wanted to be home with our daughter, and he made that sacrifice to keep working full time. (In retrospect, he’s admitted that it was probably the best choice, as being with her all day on his own really wears him out. He now understands why I nap when she naps.)

His full time job is not just a sacrifice in time, but also in dreams. Along with his full-time job, which is really just a day job, he’s an actor, director, and stage combat choreographer pursuing a career in theatre. This means there are months where he’s involved with a show and gone from home many evenings and weekends. But even though he could easily be involved with one show or another year round, he takes breaks to make sure he gets time to spend with Cordy and me.

However, Aaron’s theatre career is also held back by his day job. He can’t do as much because he is limited by vacation days and the 8-5 grind. We need his health insurance benefits, though, and he provides them by working in a job that doesn’t interest him all that much. (Although the new job he will hopefully be getting will be more interesting, at least!)

Not only does he sacrifice his time with theatre, work in a day job to provide benefits, and still manages to create heartwarming rituals with our daughter, he also occasionally cooks, does the dishes and other chores. He joins us for outings when he can, and we often will meet for lunch on my days off, just to find a little more time together.

I love seeing Cordy playing with her daddy. She squeals and laughs when he picks her up and tosses her around. She runs away from him giggling when he pretends to be a monster and chases her with a large “Rawwwwrrr!”, only to run right back to him when he stops. And each day when he has to leave for work, he kneels down and holds out his arms, and she runs to him to give him a big hug and say “bye-bye”.

I do consider myself lucky to have Aaron as Cordy’s father and as my husband. Yes, he’s not perfect by any means, but neither am I. And while there are always things I think he could do better, I am amazed by the bond he has with Cordy. She adores her daddy, and he does a lot to make sure that adoration will remain. Well, at least until she’s a teenager.

So, happy Father’s Day dear. I love you.