Because It Isn’t a Mommy Blog Without Talking About Poop

Cordy is sick. Last night, she had a blowout diaper right in the middle of Once Upon a Child (local resale shop). I thought it was a one-time deal, and she seemed OK when I put her to bed last night.

This morning I woke up to the sounds of her crying. Now, her morning routine generally involves waking up happy and singing/talking to herself in her crib for awhile, so this turn of events struck me as ominous as best. (WARNING, those with weak stomachs may want to skip the next few paragraphs.)

I walked to her room and opened the door, and before the door was open more than a crack I knew there was no good coming my way. The smell. Oh god, the smell. Sour milk mixed with a sewage facility mixed with toxic waste. I braved the foul odor and went towards the crib. There was Cordy, still in her one piece PJs, but completely wet, sitting up sobbing. I turned on the light to better examine her, and realized she was covered from neck to toes in goopy poop. Her diaper had put up a valiant fight to contain it all, but had failed miserably. The mess had exited that region in all directions, in the front and in the back.

(As a side note here, isn’t it funny that once you become a parent, you suddenly can classify all of the different types of poop out there? Something you never gave much thought to before is now one of your expert fields of study. It’s like we’ve become poopologists – we can judge a child’s health simply by the size, smell, and consistency of their poop. From this morning’s coating of poo, I can tell you Cordy is ever so not well. Watery, light yellow, and a smell that would make a skunk gasp.)

I carefully lifted her under her arms – one of the few non-soiled places on her body – and holding her at arms length, carried her to the bathroom. Yes, I carried my crying child at arms length. I love her dearly, but I was not about to hold her diarrhea-covered body against me. I do have some self-preservation, you know.

Aaron was taking a bath at the time, and his bath was rudely interrupted by the poop show. He got out and refilled the tub for Cordy as I took on the task of stripping her sleeper off of her. This mess must have exited her body sometime in the night, for it was dried in places, making removal of the sleeper all the more difficult.

Oh god! I said as I saw her skin underneath the cotton. Her body was covered in a red rash from where the higher concentrations of poop had settled. Some areas were just a little red and blotchy. Other areas were dark red and starting to welt. We quickly got her into the bath, and I decided to join her because she was still crying hard and wouldn’t let me go. It was clear how dehydrated she was – our little chubby brute actually looked gaunt standing in the bath.

After the bath, we took her downstairs and tried to calm her down. We rubbed her down with moisturizer and diaper balm, then quickly put a new diaper on. She wasn’t appreciative of our efforts. A little TV therapy worked, though, and soon she was glassy-eyed watching Jack’s Big Music Show. (Thank you, Tivo!!) She drank two sippy cups of juice and water, and ate a few bites of waffle. Another blow-out diaper then followed.

The next step for me was dealing with decontaminating her room. I went back to the scene, but had to quickly leave when overpowered by the scent. I wondered if haz-mat teams make house calls, or if we could at least borrow a haz-mat suit. Don’t we have some Oust somewhere? Aaron asked. No, we’re out, I replied, I’ll find something.

The only thing I could find was a pocket spritzer of Eucalyptus Spearmint pillow mist from Bath & Body Works. Good enough, I figured, and walked back into her room spritzing away, like some police officer fighting criminal smells with my pocket spritzer handgun. All of the toys, blankets, and sheets went into the washer. I wiped down the mattress just in case, and put fresh sheets on it.

The remainder of the morning was spent watching Playhouse Disney with Cordy on my lap. While I normally don’t let her watch too much TV, she’s sick and doesn’t want to play, so I’m happy to help her forget that she feels so bad. This kid never wants to cuddle, so if she’s spending an extended amount of time sitting with me, I know this isn’t just a little bug.

She’s currently upstairs napping, and I’m crossing my fingers that I won’t find any more toxic surprises when she wakes. Cordy hasn’t been this sick in a long, long time. It’s hard to see her feeling so bad, and knowing I can do little to help. Changing her diaper is the worst, because in trying to help her (cleaning her off and applying cream) it causes her pain, which in turn makes me feel awful.

Isn’t it amazing that when our kids are sick, we have an inborn ability to shoulder that pain right along with them? If I could, I would gladly take all of the bad she’s feeling onto myself so that she could feel better.

PS – Aaron is currently at his interview – thanks to all who are sending him positive thoughts!

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Comments

  1. Poor Cordy….POOR YOU! My kiddos had that same episode (luckily only once) when they were little. You feel so bad for them, and the stench…OH THE STENCH!

    Hope all is better soon 🙂

  2. Yikes! Does the room now smell like Eucalyptus Spearmint Poop? Try lighting matches (you, not the kid) and candles – seriously. Think of it as an altar to the poop gods.
    Sorry about the E.P. drama, I was only there once (knock on wood) and I also made the outstretched-arm-haul to the tub. Hope you all feel better (and smell better) soon.

  3. Did you know Eskimos have 40 different words for snow? What Eskimos did for snow is what moms have done for poop. Poopologist, I love it.

    I hope she feels better soon.

  4. Poor girl…I hope she gets well soon, for her sake and yours!

    Good luck to Aaron at the interview!

  5. Hope Cordy is feeling better soon. Those poop explosions are no fun for ANYONE.

    Good luck to Aaron.

  6. I hope she’s feeling better soon, I’ve had to do the child at arm’s length dash to the bathtub too…..

  7. Awww poor baby!!

    I hope she is feeling better.

    Poopologist’s is a very accurate word!!! You know we can also do the same thing with boogers…LOL!

    http://daisygrl.wordpress.com/

  8. WHat is it with those sick poops??? I know RIGHT away by the smell that it’s the sick one. Ug. It always has that very distinct funk to it and that nice rash.

    Ick. Ick. Ick.

  9. I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s nice to know that I am not the only one to have to call in a decantamination squad for one of my kids. Thanks for the comedic spin…..

  10. Mommy off the Record says

    Oh, I’m sorry she’s feeling so sick. I know what you mean about classifying poops. My dad watches my son 3 days a week for me while I go to work and EVERY single time my son takes a poop while he is taking care of him, my dad reports back to me with all the details on consistency, color, etc. Because, you know, you can tell a lot about a baby’s healthy by their poop.

  11. Awwwww…I’m so sorry for both of you. I’ve been there with it coming out of both ends and it’s just pitiful and gross and exhausting. Hope Cordy is on the mend 🙂

  12. Oh sweetie! I feel for all of you. You lived a moment from my life three weeks ago. We had vomit and poop. EVERYWHERE. Thank goodness Dan was home to help.

    There is a certain odor to sick poop. I used to work at a vet clinic and it reminded me of what the poor puppies with Parvo smelled like.

    We cleaned out our TiVo when Aveline was sick. All we could do was hold her, give her pedialyte, clean up the vomit and blowout diapers. She wanted to do nothing else. Neither did I.

    I hope Aaron’s interview went well!

  13. Poor Cordy! I sincerely hope that she is feeling better today. And I hope you were able to successfully air out her room and that Aaron’s interview went well.

  14. It has taken me all weekend to find time enough to read your last two posts – not because they’re too long, but because it’s been hard to find the time!

    Poor little Cordy, please say that she is doing better! I could have cried when I read about her whole sweet little body having such a nasty rash. Did she have a fever? Is the rash gone? How is she? Wishing you all well, and do let us know how Aaron’s interview went.

  15. Oh man…thats awful. I am sure everything is better now. Every mom has a good poop story or else we couldnt call ourselves moms. But it still isnt fun to take care of!