An Open Letter

Dear Westerville McDonald’s,

Due to the proximity of your establishment to my place of work, and due to the lack of other fast food establishments, I order food from you at least once a week far too frequently. While I am a big fan of your french fries and double cheeseburger, I am now on a quest to improve my health. And so I decided today that I would skip the greasy food that you do so well for one of your premium salads.

I’ve had these salads before. They’re good. The salad is filling while not being too high in fat and calories, especially with the grilled chicken instead of the crispy chicken. The portion size is good, even if the cost is a little high. However, today is became clear that your location clearly doesn’t have a lot of people requesting salads.

My first tip that something might be amiss was the sticker you forgot to remove from the salad container. This informed me that the salad MUST be used by 12:30pm 5/9/06. You were lucky, and came in just under the wire on that one: it was 12:25pm. Nothing like getting a salad that was 5 minutes away from expiring.

When I arrived back to the office, I then discovered you forgot to put in the croutons. An easy miss, I understand. But when faced with little more than dry chicken, lettuce, and salad dressing, those butter and garlic croutons are a carb-lover’s dream come true in a sea of leafy greens, protein and oil.

Then I carefully opened the top of the salad container, and was greeted with half a salad. The bowl was only half-full of lettuce. OK, I’m used to getting skimped on fries at McDonald’s, but now you’re skimping on LETTUCE? Seriously? In case you forgot, this damn salad costs four times more than my fries, and I want all the lettuce I’m supposed to have!

Which brings me to some important questions: why must I pay $5 in order to eat chicken and lettuce in a bowl, when a McChicken sandwich costs $1? Why must your healthy menu be so expensive, while people can eat all the crap they want from your dollar menu? Is the labor involved in cutting the chicken into strips really that expensive? What kind of Ginsu chef are you hiding amongst the immigrants in the kitchen? I shouldn’t be forced to make the decision to save money and eat cheap or splurge and eat healthy. Healthy vs. cheap is just not fair.

Perhaps next time I want a chicken salad, I will order a chicken sandwich with extra lettuce (which is free to add to sandwiches, so why are you skimping me in the salad?), cut the chicken up myself, mix with the lettuce from the sandwich, tear the bun up into crouton-sized pieces, and enjoy my $1 “premium” chicken salad.

Sincerely,

A woman who no longer wants to be fat, but wants her lettuce and croutons!

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Comments

  1. Why DO they do that? So much for a salad, and cheap for everything else.

    I think your sandwich into salad idea is perfect 🙂

  2. Brilliant idea. What a great way to stick it to the man!

  3. Give ’em hell, sister.

    We recently watched “Supersize Me” and nearly puked. I almost never eat fast food, but that’s most of Slipshod’s diet. I hope he got something out of it… though he would probably argue that while he eats Taco Hell all the time, he almost never eats McDonald’s food, which is what the guy who made “Supersize Me” subsisted on until he got really really sick.

  4. Geez…maybe the lettuce “settled” in the container… 🙂

  5. Did you take it back? I’m so totally in love with my power to balk these days and I would have taken it back or killed over

  6. It’s so unfair that eating healthy comes with a hefty price tag.

  7. Violet – I need to watch Supersize Me, and I need to force my husband to watch it. Maybe then we’d stop eating out so much.

    Domesticator – Oh, this is far beyond settling. This is more like half of it settled elsewhere, but not in the bowl.

    Jerri Ann – No, I didn’t take it back because I didn’t have time. So I ate my half salad and then had a cookie later. Sigh.

    Jenna – Are you allergic to cinnamon?

  8. It’s ridiculous. I mean – usually you get SO much lettuce you feel like a rabbit. F ’em – tell them you’re going to Wendy’s next time.

  9. Grrr. I know how you feel! I’m trying this whole dieting thing to lose the baby weight and OMG, it’s expensive to eat right!

  10. SERIOUSLY….

    (You got a Wendy’s nearby? Their salads are the salads that beat up McDonald’s salads on the salad playground)

  11. Their Asian salad almost killed me because the dressing just said “spices” so I ate it anyway. Yeah. It had cinnamon.

  12. Noooooo, not the MickeyD salad’s. They rape you for the three pieces of lettuce and the one crouton they give ya. Drive a little further and go to the Wendy’s.

    They rock. I know this, because I feed my kids this all the time. Martha Stewart, and Suzie Homemaker I ain’t.

    Sigh….

  13. Ditto what T. said. Ditch Mickey Ds. Get you some Wendeeeees.

  14. I’d go with Wendy’s as well when it comes to salads. McD’s sucks! I hate that the healthy alternative is twice as expensive!

  15. That is hilarious. Boy is it true though, I seriously doubt that it is that much more expensive to throw a salad together than make a sandwich. McD’s acts like they are so healthy with their menu now, but the price of the healthy food is rediculous compared to their other items.

  16. That is funny. Yes to just ordering the sandwich with extra lettuce and doing it yourself. The logic would baffle them.

  17. http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=flash

    I don’t want to be a spoil sport, LOL- but I HATE McDonalds (especially after SuperSize Me). Go to that link- there’s more fat and calories in that salad with the croutons and dressing than you’d think. Then add a drink- man.

    And I hear Taco Bell (depending on what you get) is the “healthiest” of the fast foods. We just recently started this “thing” where we’re trying to eat better, but it’s so f’in hard!

  18. yes, when people say ‘why are poor people so fat if they don’t have any $ to feed themselves…?’
    IT’S BECAUSE ALL THE CHEAP FOOD IS FULL OF PROCESSED INEXPENSIVE STUFF AND THEY CAN MAKE IT FASTER AND LET IT SIT THERE FOR HOURS ON END!
    But, God forbid you want something healthy, you have to pay through the nose!

  19. I’m a little late on this but YES-WENDY”S salad.

    And a hamburger (no cheese) and a small vanilla ice cream is a good low point choice there if you must.

    But this afternoon I had a big mac. So um….don’t listen to me.

  20. Mommy off the Record says

    OMG, totally hilarious and so true! I ordered a veggie burger at Burger King once. NEVER AGAIN. That thing was so disgusting I threw it away. And I don’t throw food away easily.

    On a separate note, I just tagged you over at my blog. Participate if you wish. Cheers!

  21. I was blog surfing and I found your absolutely accurate description of Mickey Dee’s (as my children call it)to be right on!!

    I am also wanting to remove some of this excess weight and seem to be defeated everytime I try to get something healthy. I think they want us to fail. It is a conspiracy I tell you 😉

    BTW I love your blog! Awesome!

    Whats for lunch today?

    http://daisygrl.wordpress.com/

  22. Yes. I’m allergic to cinnamon. Do you know how much CRAP cinnamon is in? *dies*

  23. Hmmm this could be why Disney has disolved their relationship with Mc’s!