A Mommy Story

Last week I covered the first two chapters of this book. Now let’s look at rules for home and at the table. This makes even the strictest parenting book out there today look soft.

Chapter III: Of Behaviour at Home.

1. Always bow at coming Home; and be immediatly uncovered.
2. Be never covered at home, especially before thy Parents or Strangers.
3. Never sit in the presence of thy Parents without bidding, though no Strangers be present.
4. If thou pass by thy Parents, or by any place where thou seest them, either by themselves, or with Company, bow towards them.
5. If thou be going to speak to thy Parents, and see them engaged in Discourse or Company, draw back, and leave thy business thil afterward; but if thou must speak be sure to whisper.
6. Never speak to thy Parents, without some Title of Respect, viz. Sir, Madam, Forsooth; &c. according to their quality.
7. Approach near thy Parents at no time without a Bow.
8. Dispute not, nor delay to do thy Parents Commands.
9. Go not forth of doors without thy parents leave, and return within the time by them limited.
10. Come not into the room where thy Parents are with strangers unless thou be called, and then decently; and at bidding, go out; or if strangers come in while thou art with them, it is mannerly with a bow to withdraw.

11. Use respectful and courteous, not insulting or domineering carriage or language towards the Servants.
12. Quarrel not, nor contend with thy Brethren or Sisters, but live in Love, Peace and Unity.
13. Grumble not, nor be discontented at any thing, thy Parents appoint, speak or do.
14. Bear with Meekness and Patience, and without murmering or sullenness, thy Parents Reproofs or Corrections, nay, though it should so happen that they be causeless or undeserved.

Chapter IV: Of Behavior at the Table. (this one is long, folks)

1. Come not to the table unwash’d or not comb’d.
2. Sit not down till thou art bidden by thy Parents or Superiors.
3. Be sure thou never sit till Grace be said, and then in thy due place.
4. Offer not to carve for thy self, or to take any thing, though it be what thou ever so much desirest.
5. Ask not for any thing, but tarry till it be offered thee.
6. Find not fault with any thing that is given thee.
7. When thou hast meat given thee, be not the first to begin to eat.
8. Feed thy self with thy two Fingers, and the Thumb of the left hand.
9. Speak not at the Table; if thy Superiors be discoursing, meddle not with the matter.
10. If thou want any thing from the Servants, call to them softly.

11. Eat not too fast, or greedily.
12. Eat not too much, but moderatly.
13. Eat not so slow as to make others wait for thee.
14. Make not a noise with thy tongue, mouth, lips, or breath, either in eating or drinking.
15. Stare not in the face of any one (especially thy Superior) at the Table.
16. Grease not thy Fingers or Napkin, more than necessity requires.
17. Bite not thy bread, but break it, but not with slovenly Fingers, not with the same where-with thou takest up thy meat.
18. Dip not thy Meat in the Sawce.
19. Take not salt with a greazy Knife.
20. Spit not, cough not, nor blow thy Nose at Table if it may be avoided; but if there be necessity, do it aside, and without much noise.

21. Lean not thy Elbow on the Table, or on the back of thy Chair.
22. Stuff not thy mouth so as to fill thy Cheeks; be content with smaller Mouthfuls.
23. Blow not thy Meat, but with Patience wait till it be cool.
24. Sup not Broth at the Table, but eat it with a Spoon.
25. Smell not to thy Meat, nor move it to thy Nose; turn it not the other side upward to view it upon the Plate.
26. Throw not any thing under the Table.
27. Hold not thy Knife upright in thy hand, but lay it down at thy right hand with the Blade upon thy plate or trencher.
28. Spit not forth any thing that is not convenient to be swallowed, as the Stones of Plums, Cherries, or such like; but with thy left hand neatly move them to the side of thy plate or trencher.
29. Fix not thine eyes upon the plate or trencher of another, or upon the meat on the Table.
30. Lift not up thine eyes, nor roll them about, while thou art drinking.

31. Foul not thy Napkin all over, but at one corner only.
32. Bend thy Body a little downwards to thy plate, when thou movest any thing that is sauced, to thy mouth.
33. Look not earnestly on any one that is eating.
34. Foul not the Table-Cloth.
35. Gnaw not Bones at the Table, but clean them with thy knife (unless they be very small ones) and hold them not with a whole hand, but with two fingers.
36. Drink not, nor speak with any thing in thy mouth.
37. Put not a bit into thy mouth, till the former be swallowed.
38. Before and after thou drinkest, wipe thy lips with thy Napkin.
39. Pick not thy Teeth at the Table, unless holding up thy Napkin before thy mouth with thine other Hand.
40. Drink not till thou have quite emptied thy Mouth, nor drink often.

41. Frown not, nor murmur if there be any thing at the Table which thy Parents or Strangers with them eat of, while thou thy self hast none given thee.
42. As soon as thou shalt be moderately satisfied, or whensoever thy Parents think meet to bid thee, rise up from the Table, though others thy Superiors sit still.
43. When thou riseth from Table, take away thy Plate, and having made a bow at the side of the Table where thou satest, withdraw, removing also thy Seat.
44. When Thanks are to be returned after eating, return to thy place, and stand reverently till it be done, then with a bow withdraw out of the Room, leaving thy Superiors to themselves, unless thou be bidden to stay.