Yesterday a coworker told me that she was pregnant. I had been expecting this, because over the past three months she’s asked me all sorts of questions about being a mother, pregnancy, and raising a child. The pregnancy was unexpected, but completely welcomed by her and her husband.
I, of course, expressed how happy I was for her. And then, it happened: advice began spewing from my mouth.
I couldn’t shut up.
Every tip I could think of came out my mouth in a flood.
Faster then you can say “first trimester” I had given her a list of all the best baby websites, places to buy maternity clothing and bras, good books to read and books to avoid, free baby magazines to sign up for, and the name, number, and web site listing for my OB/GYN.
I actually realized, while I was suffering from verbal diarrhea, that I was giving way too much unsolicited advice. However, my logical self appeared to be disconnected from my experienced mother self, and I watched from a distance as I asked her if her breasts hurt yet and told her about how miserable the third trimester is. It was truly an out of body experience. I even remember apologizing for giving her so much information, but then continuing on anyway.
Why do moms turn into crazy women when someone announces they’re pregnant? Suddenly we’re a Momopedia of information about birthing techniques and breastfeeding long before the poor woman has even experienced her first bout of morning sickness. What biological instinct turns some into raving maternal lunatics who cannot shut up around a pregnant woman?
I remember when I was pregnant, I had several friends and coworkers (and even strangers on the street!) attack me with all of their information. While I did appreciate some of it, most of it was information overload. Besides, I really didn’t want to hear all the birth horror stories that moms were overly-willing to share in graphic detail with a smile.
Luckily, my coworker seemed to understand my need to tell her about all things maternal, and at least pretended to listen intently. She even asked a question or two (which probably didn’t help). I hope she won’t go out of her way to hide from me after this. I don’t want to be that crazy mother that pregnant women run from.
She was proabably so happy to hear what you had to say! Don’t worry!
This is so true! I can remember behaving the same way after my first. I cringe when I remember the three page email full of unsolicited advice I sent to an acquaintance upon hearing she was pregnant. Ugh! I still do that, but to a much lesser degree now. When it happens, it is absolutely an out-of-body experience, just like you describe!
I’m the same way with with pregnant women, engaged women, and women wanting to get a puppy. It’s a little “I’m so happy for you” mixed with a pinch of, “come join my personal hell.”
I am SO that crazy woman. I think it stems from not having expertise is any other arena.
I remember how lost I felt at first with a newborn, so I guess I get all crazy with advise too! There are so many cool things that we have discovered along the way, we cannot be blamed for wanting to sharing it!!
Nice new look!
I’m with emz on the puppy thing. I can not shut up when it comes to someone getting a puppy. At least not until they’ve had enough and smack me in the face.
I am still in the position where people give me advice instead of me giving it, but I can’t say I really mind. I mean, a lot of it I simply blow off but it doesn’t bother me, per se. And I can’t wait until I can do it!!!
too funny! i wonder if i do that and don’t even realize! at least you noticed!
I have been a mother for so long now I just smile and say congratulations, then turn away and secretly think you have no idea what you are in for LOL.
hahaha! I couldn’t stop laughing after reading this because I too suffer from verbal diarrhea when asked about pregnancy. Forget about being asked on LABOR…I will go on all night!
Anyway – I made my way to your blog from blogexplosion and I so enjoyed reading here! You made fan out of me 🙂
I do the same thing…once I get started, I can’t shut up!
Sometimes I’m my worst nightmare.
It’s so true, you hear someone is pregnant and you just start talking and you can’t stop.
I did something very close to this to my husbands cousin’s wife. She got this glazed eyed look and I felt really bad afterwards. Oh well!
I’m sure she did absorb some of what you told her, so cheer up!
I haven’t come across anyone who is pregnant in PERSON, but I’ve found myself spewing at the mouth to online friends quite a bit about that stuff. I think we all have this urge to “mother” and having been through it, the urge is full force, and we have to help others- It takes a village, right? LOL.
I’ve done it. But even worse, there doesn’t even have to be a preganncy involved. My excuse is that I’m cooped up with non-adults all day. I’ll talk to anyone who wil listen…lol
Hi! I found you from the CHBM website. You are too funny.
This post really hit home with me because I am currently suffering from this condition. My best friend is 5 months pregnant and I have become a walking talking version of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”. I know I should shut up with the advice, but I can’t seem to help myself. Verbal diarrhea is the perfect way to describe it.
All of you should shut up. I’m five months pregnant and I am so sick of listening to other people just like yourselves. No one wants your unsolicited advice and no one wants to hear your horror stories.
Hmmm, anonymous, seeing as you found my site by searching for “help for pregnant women who don’t want to be pregnant in columbus, ohio”, I can give you only my pity. I enjoyed being pregnant, and I can’t imagine not wanting my child.
Then again, I might have a piece of advice for you, so stop reading right now if you don’t want this unsolicited advice. Then again, you were searching for advice, so I guess it’s not unsolicited, is it? If you really don’t want to be pregnant, do your child a favor and give it up for adoption.