A Mommy Story

As each day goes by, I find I’m losing my sweet baby to an inquisitive, determined, strong-willed toddler. Cordelia now sees herself as her own being and, in her mind, she is ready to set out on new adventures. Well, at least for a few minutes, until mommy is out of view, and then she’s suddenly not so bold as she comes crying back to me.

Along with this new independence comes power struggles. I know many other mommy and daddy bloggers out there have gone through this, some many times over. So I apologize if this sounds silly, since most of you can tell me it’s going to get far worse.

I knew these power struggles were coming, and I have read all the books on what to do. But sometimes she does things that mystify me. Things that make me wonder just what is going on in that little head of hers, as she figures out the world around her. Let me give you one small example of what I’m going through:

The sippy cup. Yeah, the sippy cup. Who knew a struggle over a cup with a lid and a spout could be so strong?

Our first battle with the sippy cup involved simply getting her to try using one. Around a year old, she remained a hard-core bottle baby. I started with the Avent cups, since we were already using the Avent bottles. No go – she wasn’t even interested in trying it. So I tried a Gerber cup. Nope. The Nuby cup that everyone recommended as the perfect first cup? Not so much.

Soon I had a beautiful selection of nearly every brand of sippy cup offered by Babies R Us, all of which showed no sign of wear. At this point, Aaron was getting angry that we were wasting so much money on cups she would never use.

But then I found the holy grail of sippy cups: the cheap disposable sippy cups. I should have known she’d forgo the fancy valves and smooth ergonomic handles of the other cups for the plain Wal-Mart brand cups that come in a 4-pack for $3.99. She took to the cup right away, and we breathed a sigh of relief that our child would not be entering pre-school someday with a backpack full of bottles.

Best of all, that sippy cup was really just a gateway cup. After it, she was willing to use any other sippy cup we offered her, aside from straw cups. We still can’t get her to drink from straw cups yet. I was able to redeem myself with Aaron over all of the money spent on sippy cups.

However, the struggle doesn’t end there. Oh no, it gets far more ridiculous.

While she’s now been drinking from a sippy cup for about 4 months, she has one small quirk: she won’t hold the cup. We must hold the cup for her as she drinks. I’ve never felt more like a servant to her than when I’m holding her cup so she can sip as much as she likes. Yes, your highness, allow me to hold your cup for you to keep your dainty hands free from the rough plastic.

I’ve seen other moms complain that their tots will refuse milk from a sippy, or refuse to drink cold milk from a sippy. I find myself wishing for their problems. I know she understands the basic mechanics of the cup. She knows where to put her mouth, she knows how to suck out the liquid, and she knows that she must tilt the cup up. So why can’t she do this?

There are several solutions given in all of the advice books. I’ve tried not making a big deal about it. I’ve moved away from the cup, hoping that she would pick it up and drink it if I wasn’t near her. But no, she only picks the cup up and brings it to me so I can give her a drink!

All day long I’m smacked in the arm or leg with her sippy cup, as she then pushes it into my hands to offer her a drink. She can’t even be polite about it. We repeat “cup” every single time, but she always thrusts the cup at us with a loud, harsh “uuuunnggghhh!” Dr. Karp was right – I am living with a mini-caveman.

I’ve tried to move her hands onto the cup while she’s drinking, which results in her forcefully pulling her arms away and giving a squeal mid-drink, spraying me with juice.

So now, I turn to all of my readers (yes, all 8 of you). Am I doing something wrong? Is my child just lazy? Is this a normal phase of toddlerhood? How can I get her to hold her own damn cup?

And most importantly: if I can’t get over this hurdle, how in the world am I going to handle the more serious power struggles?