No Really, the President Made Me Late

Driving to work today, I noticed an unusually high number of police cars on the road. Every mile I covered, more and more were showing up, until there was a police car parked about every quarter mile on the highway. Then I noticed all of the overpasses were also being guarded by police officers, and small creeks by the side of the road were being guarded by the watercraft safety division of the police.

What the hell is going on?, I thought. Was there a bomb? Did prisoners escape from jail? Was Congress finally abolished and we were now in a police state?

Then a low-flying plane passed over the highway and over my head (I work very close to the airport). Air Force One. As in, the plane used by the President. Of the United States. Ahhhhh, it makes sense now. The president is in town. Great. So I can blame him for making me late to work.

Around 1:30pm, I had to travel back downtown for a department meeting. I made an offhand joke to a coworker about how the president better not make me late again. Damn karma.

The road to the highway was partially blocked off by the police, and they were forcing everyone to keep moving and travel northbound on the highway only. I, of course, needed to travel southbound. As I merge onto the highway, I see a large group of police cars driving past me in the southbound lanes, followed by the president’s parade of limousines. Bastard. Now I’m late again, and it’s all his fault.

Not that I ever liked the president to begin with, but now I really dislike him. I was late twice today because of his need to lock down half of the city just to travel a few miles.

I found it somewhat amusing, though, that no one stopped on the road to wave at him or honk their horns. Not. one. single. person. No fanfare, no cheering, no waving of flags. Even the police looked pissed off to be watching him drive by.

Back during the election, he came to town a few times, and whenever they would block off part of the road for him to travel, people would stop their cars in the opposite lanes to wave and cheer and witness a political celebrity driving past them as they waved their American flags. Even people who didn’t like him would at least slow down on the road to nod their heads or pay some respect to the office of the president. This is Ohio – people here are patriotic, much to my annoyance sometimes.

Now? No one cared to stop and see him. It was even a beautiful, warm, sunny day, unusual for February in Ohio, but people went on their daily business without a care. The president’s in town? So what.

You know you’re an unpopular president when you come to a Midwestern state that you won during the election, and people don’t give a damn at seeing you drive by.

So Mr. President, do yourself a favor and don’t bother coming back to Columbus. We aren’t that interested in you and frankly? You just make us late for work.

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Comments

  1. His Royal Shrubness was making a speech at…Wendy’s headquarters. For some reason I find this highly amusing.

  2. That’s a great excuse. I’ll need to try that one – although he NEVER comes to the deep south. He probably should cuz they LOOOOVEE him down here.

  3. I LOVE IT!
    Sounds like the leading Jerk of the free world. Everyone has to stop what their doing and make way for him.
    Isn’t it amusing that after every idiotic and presumptuous thing Bush has done, it’s the personal act of making you late that pushed him passed redemption?

  4. Bush Derangement Syndrome strikes again.

  5. LMAO!! I am finding more and more disgruntled posts about your illustrious president…..but this one made me laugh more than any i’ve read recently!!

  6. I was trying to drive home from work on Friday and found myself at a dead stop on the interstate. Sure enough, it was the President, who managed to close down one of the tollways and a significant chunk of an interstate.

    If you want to endear yourself to the citizens of a swing state, where most of us are already upset enough at your brother, the governor, making us sit in traffic for 45 minutes when we’re trying to start the weekend is not the way to do it!