My 15 Month Amazon Child

Today my daughter is 15 months old. Just 15 months ago I was at the hospital, having her cut out of me, because she was too damn stubborn to turn head down. I now believe that a person’s personality can be seen even before they are born: Cordelia is proof of that. But that story is for another day.

We celebrated the 15 month anniversary of her birth with a visit to the pediatrician for her well-baby checkup. She was happy at first, showing off her new walking skills in the waiting room, smiling at the other kids in the room, and being damn cute. But then her name was called, and as I started to walk her back the hallway to the examination room, her eyes widened as if she had a flashback and remembered that she did. not. like. this. place. Then the crying started.

First up were the statistics. She weighed in at 25 lbs 12 ozs. That put her in the 90th percentile for her age. No big surprise there, since she’s always been near the top. Her height was 32.5 inches. This was a big jump – at 12 months she was 30 inches and in the 75th percentile. Now she’s back up into the 95th percentile again.

Finally, they measured her head size. 19.5 inches. I snickered while the nurse placed the dot on her chart at, oh, around the 120th percentile mark. Yes, my daughter has a large head. “Would ya look at the size of that kid’s head! It’s the size of a planetoid and it has it’s own weather system! Looks like an orange on a toothpick! I’m not kidding, that kid’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts!” (bonus points for naming the movie here)

The nurse then left her alone, and Cordy calmed down and decided to explore the little room we were in. The fun was soon dispersed when the doctor came in the room. Cordy gave him the evil eye and hugged my knee as if it was a shield between her and the mean guy with the pokey things.

The doctor’s comments:

“She’s growing well.” Well, duh. It’s clear the kid is an amazon. My mom is already dreaming of her being a basketball player. Or maybe hockey. Still, I have to admit I love seeing those stats. You’d think I was judging her stats like a report card – everything in the 90’s, so she’s getting an A. I must tell myself, it’s not a race.

“As long as she’s eating well, she doesn’t need vitamins.” Good to know. And as long as you consider ice cream, chicken nuggets, and PB&J eating well, then she’s great. Eating fruits and veggies is often a bit of a battle, though.

“What made you think she should be wearing soft shoes? Put her in hard soled shoes for normal foot development.” OK, this one made me a wee bit angry. Gee, where did I get a crazy idea like that? Maybe it was from reading the quotes of pediatricians recommending soft shoes, or maybe it was this research done by Dr. Lynn T. Staheli, director of orthopedics at Children’s Hospital? Or it could have been the information I found from the Canadian Pediatric Society, but, well, they’re Canadians, so we can’t trust them, right? Or maybe it was something I read from those quacks over at the American Academy of Pediatrics, but what do they know, anyway?

“She certainly has good lungs.” Yeah, and if you put your finger any closer, you might even get to experience how strong her teeth are as well.

“Oh, we’re all out of the flu shot.” They gave my daughter a half dose of the flu vaccine a month ago, but didn’t think to keep any back for when she needed the other half? *bangs head against wall*

Don’t get me wrong: I sorta like Cordy’s pediatrician. He’s friendly and seems like a nice guy, but he doesn’t have the touch that our old nurse practicioner had (she retired when Cordy was 9 months old). And he looks at me funny when I tell him of research I’ve read, or when I tell him we give Cordy organic whole milk. He’s young, and probably fresh out of med school, and clearly seems a little nervous around educated parents. I’m going to give him another try or two, and then switch doctors if my opinion of him doesn’t improve.

Finally, what doctor’s visit could be complete without shots? Cordelia got two today, including her first MMR, which the nurse informed me was probably painful for her. Great. Cordy was so upset at that point that she didn’t even want me to comfort her. Probably thinking I’m the worst mommy ever for putting her through that. Sigh…this isn’t the last time you’ll have to do things you don’t like, child.

The good news is that Cordelia is as healthy as can be. Her reflux is pretty much gone, so we can discontinue her meds for that. She’s right on track developmentally, including her temper and stranger anxiety. And, barring any illness, we won’t have to see the inside of that office again until 18 months.