Family Help

I consider myself very lucky that we were able to ditch the expense of daycare when I switched to a part-time job. I work Monday thru Wednesday, and then have Thursday thru Sunday off. On Mondays, Cordy goes to Aaron’s dad’s house. He lives in town, is a freelance Web designer and writer who works from home, and he loves spending the day with her.

Tuesday, she goes to my friend Lisa’s house. Lisa is a SAHM with a little boy 5 months older than Cordelia. I pay her for her trouble, because well, she’s not family, so she’s in no way obligated to this little girl. It’s good for both kids – they get to socialize and deal with the fact that other kids will play with their toys, so they’d better learn to just get along.

Wednesdays are really great, though. My mom, who lives 45 min. away in my hometown, drives up to our house to spend the day watching Cordy. She willingly gives up one of her two days off a week to make the drive up. It’s just one of many reasons why I think my mom is awesome.

My mom was divorced when I was a little over a year old, and she raised me on her own while working full-time as a laboratory technician (which doesn’t pay well). She’s always been there for me for anything, and after Cordy was born, she was just as willing to help out with her, too. She was here at least once a week helping me when Cordy was a newborn, and when we needed to get rid of daycare, she volunteered to babysit.

Now, there is one odd thing about when my mom comes up to our house. If she sees something that needs done, she does it without asking. It’s something most of our family does, although that particular trait seems to have skipped me. This often means coming home to the dishes washed, our clothing washed, or some part of the house cleaned. She also often takes Cordy out and goes shopping for us, or other times shows up at the door in the morning with bags of diapers and wipes for us (she’s supplied about 75% of Cordy’s diapers thus far). This Wednesday, she bought more overnight diapers for Cordelia. I thought that was all she did, but then I found the pile of clean baby clothing and noticed the bathroom upstairs was cleaned.

We don’t ask her to do these things at all – I swear! But Cordy isn’t as clingy with her as she is with me, so my mom can get more done around here than I can. Anytime I try to clean when I’m alone with Cordelia, she throws a fit that I’m not right next to her watching the Wiggles. Mom has yet to share with me her magical skills of getting everything done while keeping Cordy happy. I really, really wish she’d let me in on the secret.

Of course, not all is sunshine and rainbows with this deal. In return for her doing all of these things, we often must listen to lectures about how cluttered our house is, how we need to spend more time doing this or that, how we need to better manage our money, etc. This doesn’t bother me – I’ve been living with that arrangement with her for my entire life, and I have to admit she often speaks the truth.

Aaron, on the other hand, really gets annoyed. The two of them get along, and Aaron often proudly claims that he is one of the few he knows who likes his mother-in-law. But Aaron doesn’t like being told that we’re bad housekeepers. Lately, he’s started washing all the dishes sitting around every Wednesday morning so my mom won’t have any to wash. He’ll also pick up any personal items lying around and put them away to keep her from putting them somewhere he won’t find them.

I’m starting to wonder if my mom is using some kind of reverse psychology on him? I mean, I don’t think she’s sitting around thinking, “OK, if I just do his chores, but do them slightly differently than him, it’ll drive him crazy! Then he’ll start doing them just to make sure I don’t mess up his system! Mwahahahaha!” But if she is trying to make him do his chores more often, it seems to be working.

I’m very thankful that we have so much help from our families. Without them, the parent gig would be much more difficult. I don’t know how those without family around manage everything, and I don’t know how my mom managed as a single mom. But I do know I consider myself very lucky for the help we do have.

** Oh, and we’re not the total slobs I’m making us sound like here. We just have a lot of clutter, and a child who likes to throw all of her toys into the middle of the floor. There’s a big difference between dirty and cluttered. And in a week it will be spotless for Christmas, because the rest of my family will be here, and there’s no way Aaron wants them to start in on the housework also.